My Heart Is Yours
by Rachel2020
Summary: She loved her. She knew she did, from the first day Spencer sat beside her, she shared her book and Ashley in turn shared her world.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

She loved her. She knew she did, from the first day Spencer sat beside her, she shared her book and Ashley in turn shared her world.

"Hey beautiful" Spencer said smiling as she took her seat next to Ashley who was surprisingly early for class.

"Hey Spence", a fidgeting Ashley said never taking her eyes from the English text (another shocker as she never took books to class). Spencer's brows furrowed at the sound of Ashley's voice and a concerned look washed her face. Moving her seat closer to Ashley's till they were joined she reached her hand across, rubbing Ashley's back. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Yea, I am." Ashley said, her eyes still scanning the text, her fingers flipping through the pages. Spencer didn't know whether to feel happy that Ashley was seemingly starting to take her work seriously, or hurt at the fact that not once did Ashley look at her since she stepped into the class. A tendril of Ashley's hair fell into her face, which she tried to blow back with a light wind from her lips. Realizing the slight torture, Spencer simply stroked it back, then moving her hand, her fingers drifting down Ashley's cheek, outlining the shape of her jaw. Ashley, feeling the heat under Spencer's touch, let out a sigh…causing heads to turn in the class.

"MISS DAVIES!" fumed Mrs. Berkmar as she turned from the board to face the class. "See me after class," the woman said simply, after collecting her reserve.

"See what you did" Ashley grumbled under her breath still not looking up at Spencer.

"Sorry…I…I, sorry Ashley," and then she hauled her seat back into place.

The hour seemed to go on forever, Spencer kept looking over at Ashley whose eyes never left the pages of the book she held all morning. The bell finally let out and everybody headed for the door, everybody except Ashley that is.

"Ms. Davies, I would appreciate it if there were no more outbursts like that in my class. There is a time and place for everything, and my class is certainly _not _the place for your sexual exhibits."

Cringing at the words coming from the elderly woman's mouth Ashley then spoke, "but I didn't even _do_ anything Mrs. B!"

"No buts Ms. Davies…that is all," her teacher spoke again, a sympathetic smile on her face as she looked up at Ashley.

"Yes ma'am." And she walked out of the class only to hit up into Spencer who was standing at the door. "What is it?" Ashley asked staring down at her feet.

"I'm sorry for getting you in trouble."

"Yea…well…it's no big deal"

"Ash…it _is_, the one time you were actually focused in class I got you in trouble. I'm sorry!"

"Look, Spence…its _not_ a big deal, get over it…I am" Ashley said walking away. The words cut Spencer like a knife. Her heart sank at the sight of Ashley walking away. It brought her back to a place she didn't like. That dark, cold, lonely, uncertain place she was in when she first moved to LA eight months ago.


	2. Chapter 2

_8 months ago _

"It'll be _fine _guys…just trust me on this; this move is for the best. I'm sure you'll make a lot of friends."

"Yea right…" smirked a sarcastic Glen, causing his mom to regret the idea of moving to LA

"I'm sure you're right mom" Spencer said trying to sound apologetic.

"Spencer's right!" Clay said sounding a bit too enthused for his own liking.

There it was, King High, not exactly your suburban school of choice but in this new fast paced town, it was everything you expected it to be. A few thousand teens too caught up in the rush of school to be caught up in anyone else. Especially those they were unfamiliar with.

"Glen, Clay, Spencer…have a great day guys. Your dad and I won't be home until around 6."

"Bye mom," the trio exclaimed, in an almost chorus. Then walked off leaving Paula Carlin staring into the mist the hurried feet left behind.

"Now to find my Geometry class…" with the location map in her hands, Spencer was too busy staring at it to realize what was going on, when she bumped into a group of jocks throwing a basketball around.

"So-…sorry, I…" Spencer tried to speak but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. Embarrassment caused her to dart in the opposite direction.

"Hey there sexy!" one yelled, followed by an instant whistle from another one.

"Come play with us, we won't bite" said another. A hot pink red rush filled Spencer's cheek.

"Cut it out guys!" shouted a voice from the direction Spencer was headed, _oh dear God _she thought, how would she manage to get out of this one?

"Hey, don't pay them any mind…they can be real jerks sometimes."

"And your not…?" Spencer said eyeing the crest on the jacket he was wearing. It was the same as the guys who were playing with the basketball.

"Ha, well…no, but that depends," he said smiling. "My name's Aiden…Dennison, and you are?"

"Spencer…Carlin," she said finally looking up at him, then flushed another color when she realized his wide, handsome smile. Spencer quickly looked down at her feet to avoid further eye contact.

"It's ok you know, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Spencer, slowly lifting her head, smiled back at him. "Thank you." And they continued walking through the court yard.

"So Spencer, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was trying to find my Geometry class, and then _they_ happened," she said, looking back.

"Well…_maybe_ I can help you out with that. What room are you in?"

"128…"

"Hahaha, alright, uum…you're totally on the wrong side of the world right now."

"Oh."

"Don't worry though, I'll have you there in like a minute," then pulling her hand, Aiden led her through the corridor, and then up some stairs, making three right turns. "Here we are…128" a grin playing across his lips.

"Thank you SO much." Spencer said, giving Aiden a big hug. Shocked and amazed she stepped back, too embarrassed to look at him."

"Hey, it's ok. I'll be your tour guide until you get used to this place."

"Thanks Aiden."

"No problem, see you later." He said, bending the corner.

Spencer smiled, and then opened the door to a very scantily seated room and a middle aged, overweight man with a receding hairline and some very trendy shades.

"Ah yes. Ms. Carlin, good of you to join us."

"Sorry if I'm late, I couldn't find the class and then…"

"Now Ms. Carlin, that's quite understandable. Take your set and let's get started. Class, this is Spencer Carlin, she just moved here from Ohio, I hope you'll make her feel at home."

"Not likely…no farms around here," someone snickered at the back of this class.

Spencer ignored the comment and sat down. The introduction to functions in Geometry was something she could ignore; she'd covered that in Ohio last semester so there was no real need to pay attention. The time was moving so slowly, Spencer soon became restless and Mr. Carter's words soon sounded like gibberish. The bell finally rang and everyone darted for the door.

"Ms Carlin, I do hope you like your stay here at King High. Make some friends, lifelong bonds."

"I hope so too Mr. Carter," leaving the room, what a nice man she thought.

Spencer looked at her timetable, "English." She was now in the hallway, looking above heads trying to find her tour guide. Then she spotted him. "AIDEN!" Walking towards him not exactly looking where she was going, she tripped and fell over a basketball, slamming into a girl.

"Ugh, will you watch where you're going!"

"Sorry...I was just…" Spencer tried to apologize but got cut off.

"You were just nothing. Leave them, I'll do it myself," the girl shot back, hurriedly picking up her papers that had fallen. "Oh great, the front cover's stained." Just then Aiden got to Spencer, "You really have a knack for knocking into people Carlin, I gotta hand it to ya."

"Why don't you keep your little lab rat in her cage Aiden!"

"Hello to you too Ashley," he said slightly annoyed. "She's new around here; can't you be a little nicer?"

"New or not…she needs to watch where she's going."

"She's right Aiden; I should've been looking where I was going."

"Yea but she still doesn't need to be so mean," he retorted glaring at Ashley. Then ignoring her, "What's your next class?" he asked, looking at Spencer.

"It's English."

"C'mon, room 102's this way." Then dragging Spencer by the hand, he led her to her next class and out of Ashley's presence.

"Thanks Aiden."

"It's cool. I'll see you at lunch, later beautiful," and then he was gone.

Spencer yet again, walked into another class. This one had a lot more people, and the teacher was way easier to look at. Her slender figure, hair neatly pulled back into a fashionable ponytail, showing every youthful outline of her face.

"Class, this is Spencer Carlin, she'll be joining us for the rest of the year." Then turning to Spencer, the teacher said. "Nice to meet you Ms. Carlin, I expect great things from you." And with that, she ushered her to her seat.

"Alright guys, now wrapping up yesterday's topic on King Lear's hidden truths. Can anyone tell me…" and then the door opened. Spencer looked up and saw the girl she had bumped into in the hallway.

"Ms. Davie, it's nice of you to finally join us."

"But Mrs. B! I was on my way to class when this girl came from out of no…" she was cut off.

"No time for stories Ms. Davies, take your seat. And beside you is our new student, Spencer Carlin."

"That's her!" Ashley fumed, pointing at the girl who held her head down slightly embarrassed.

"Now Ms. Davies, sit down." Mrs. Berkmar said a bit more stern this time. Grumbling profanities under her breath Ashley reluctantly took her seat beside Spencer, hating her so much for the horrible start to her morning, things never usually got this bad till after lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Spencer kept looking over at the curly haired brunette who was sitting next to her. Her hands busy scribbling what looked like piano notes in the back of her notebook. _Wow_ Spencer thought, _she has the most beautiful hands_, fingers that looked like they danced on piano keys and thrived off of musical notes. Ashley's fast pace hand writing slowed to a minimal, she felt strange, slowly turning her head, looking across she saw Spencer staring at her. In an instant, Spencer snapped and looked away, her cheeks flushing a high red. She felt so embarrassed. Never had she stared at anyone with such intensity before, not even if she was a bit curious. Ashley, seemingly not caring, went back to her writing, her hands picking up their initial speed. For the rest of the session Spencer kept her head straight, never once bothering to take her eyes from off the board.

The bell finally let out and Spencer darted for the door, not giving the teacher a chance to finish her dismissal. She ran right into Aiden.

"Eh hey, I know its lunch time but are you really _that_ hungry?"

"Mhm…" Spencer nodded, the gritted teeth smile indicating that she wasn't being honest.

"Oh ok, well…you sit with me today, I'll introduce you to some people." He said smiling.

"Sounds good," then looking to the left and noticing Ashley leaving the class she grabbed his arm and bolted, "let's go."

They got to the courtyard. Aiden took Spencer to his usual spot where it was just them at first, but as the seconds went by, a few of the jocks from this morning and some other people zoned in beside them.

"Hey guys, this is Spencer…Spencer, meet Elliot…Nathan, Chris and James."

"Hey Spencer," they guys said, sounding like a choir.

"Hi," she said, feeling less intimidated than this morning. Then pointing to his right, Aiden said

"Meet Chelsea and Arianna".

The two girls beamed a bright smile at Spencer who smiled back in return, "You have such nice hair!" Arianna stated stretching forward to touch Spencer's blonde locks that radiated in the sun.

"Thank you," Spencer said modestly. Conversation ensued, those wanting to know more about Spencer, where she was from, who she was dating, was she sure she was related to Glen who was sticking his milk straws up his nose. Spencer laughed at the sight; it had been a while since she'd seen him act a fool. Now picking at her tray of fruit salad and a too large carton of milk, Spencer's gaze drifted across to see Ashley sitting at a table adjacent to her smiling and having light conversation with a girl. She watched as Ashley leaned forward and whispered something in the girl's ear, their smile growing wider. She saw Ashley's hands lightly brushing the girl's cheek, her smile becoming less friendly and more wickedly seductive. Spencer kept gazing, intrigued by the interaction between the two. The girl then reached across and kissed Ashley's cheek, causing the brunette to blush wildly. Then something happened. The girl's cell phone rang, her smile became flat. After a quick minute she put the phone back in her purse. Then out of nowhere,

"You fucking slut!" the angered voice causing heads in the courtyard to turn their direction. Ashley's expression questioning, confused at the girl's accusation. "Even when you're sober you can't be faithful! What is the matter with you!"

"What are you talking about," Ashley yells back.

"I'm talking about you and Danielle last night at Gray's!"

The girl was behaving rather irrational and being unnecessarily loud Spencer thought as she looked on.

"Oh…that" were all that escaped Ashley's lips.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say?

"No—n-no, Simone…it's not what you think it wasn't like…"

"What was it like Ashley?...you know what, save it, I've had enough of your bullshit. I should've known better than to trust the alcoholic, mental patient of a bad news, dead beat rocker dad." And with that, she walks off, leaving the witnesses staring at Ashley who was now just realizing the scene Simone had created. As if nothing had just happened, she sits down, takes out her notebook and begins writing, her hands moving effortlessly across the page. The crowd evacuated, leaving Ashley there…still writing. She turned to notice Spencer staring at her, more intently than this morning. _What had she seen? Why was she staring?_ Infuriated and embarrassed Ashley grabbed her things and headed for the table where Aiden and Spencer were sitting, trying to avoid confrontation, Spencer dropped her head back to her tray which was surprisingly still full.

"I'd like it if you could tell your damn lab rat to stop staring at me Dennison!"

"What are you talking about Ash…?"

"She's been staring at me all day, its creeping the shit outta me" turning towards Spencer she says, "You…I catch you staring at me again and it'll be trouble, got it" Spencer swallows hard, looking up at Ashley, seeing behind the harsh words, and realizing the hurt they tried to cover, the pain that was in her eyes. For a moment their eyes locked, Spencer's blue eyes searching, questioning Ashley's motives…begging her to stop hurting herself. Ashley's stern stance weakened, causing the blonde's eyes to soften. Then not wanting to give into those pleading eyes, she stood up and walked away. Spencer looked away, not wanting to face her new friends who sat with her at the table. Her mind trying to conclude the moment's exchange, why was this girl she had no clue about so captivating. What made her _want_ to know more?

"Uum, what was that?" Chelsea said, clearing her throat.

"_Yea_, were you just lusting after Ashley Davies with your eyes?" Arianna chimed in, more of a statement of obviousness than a question.

"Huh? What? No—no. I was just, well…I don't know. I was definitely not lusting, but she does make me curious." Spencer said tapping her fingers at her jaw.

"Exactly _how_ curious?"

"Oh, I don't know…she just seems different." Spencer said, obviously not picking up the internal on Arianna's question.

"If by different you mean _gay_ then yea, you're right."

"ARIANNA!" shouted Aiden and Chelsea, obviously not wanting her to make Spencer uncomfortable.

"Gay? You mean—she, Ashley's…"

"Yup, all thanks to our boy Aiden here" she swooned over patting Aiden on the back who in turn dropped his head in obvious annoyance and defeat.

"What do you mean? What does Aiden have to do with Ashley being gay?"

"They used to date…in fact, they were in love..." Spencer's eyes widened at this, looking at Aiden who now had an apologetic smile on his face.

"Yea, well…they broke up and Ashley's never dated another guy since"

"Oh."

…

"Hey, how about that…I've got a class in 5" Aiden made an honest attempt at trying to break the silence. Begging for the three women to stop staring him down.

"Yea, I do too…and I still need my tour guide with me," Spence said smiling and giving Aiden a friendly nudge.

Saying their goodbyes Spencer and Aiden headed off to the west wing while Chelsea and Arianna went to Art, leaving the boys at the table playing cards.

"Well here you are, Math."

"Yea…" silence hung in the air, Spencer picking at her notebook cover and Aiden whistling an old show tune.

"Look," they both said together…letting out a nervous laugh and a heavy sigh Aiden speaks

"Spence, I hope what they said didn't, well—I just hope…" knowing what Aiden wanted to so desperately get across she said, "No, I wasn't even—look, Aid…I know one person can't _turn_ another person gay, besides, I still think you're great" and with that she gave him a kiss on the cheek, getting a rather cute boyish grin from him. "See ya later"

"Yea" and with that, he was gone.

Math seemed like it would never end, Spencer's restlessness grew, when her thoughts drifted to Ashley. She wondered where she was, her absence seemed to leave a void in Spencer's mind, and she wanted to find her, ask her what she was hiding.

"Mr. Taylor? May I be excused?"

"s—s—sure Miss Carlin, you may," he replied, slightly startled.

Spencer wandered into the girl's locker room.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're not a dead beat; you're not a dead beat."

Spencer heard a voice whimpering in the stalls.

"I know your not…you're the best, you're just busy…just busy." The voice broke down, crying vehemently. Spencer felt a pain in her chest, the last time such emotion grappled her was when she lost her cat Mr. Twiddles. Whoever it was was definitely in a lot of pain. The cries became more pronounced, Spencer could hear the heavy heaving, which allowed her to calculate the rise and fall of the person's chest (a trait she had picked up from her mother). She stood listening. Spencer was now beginning to feel overwhelmed, after what seemed an eternity of releasing hurt, anger and sheer disappointment, the cries returned to small whimpers.

"Hello? Who's back here? You ok?", slowly walking to where the whimpers had now gone quiet. Standing behind the walls, not wanting the startle the being who was clearly in a fragile state. "I'm not gonna bite, I just want to make sure you're ok." Finally stepping into view, she was met with an ice cold glare from Ashley. Spencer jumped back, never really expecting to see Ashley where she was.

"Why the hell are you here! I skip class and you still manage to invade my space! What do you _want _from me!"

"I don't _want_ anything from you." Annoyed, Spencer turned to walk away…then stopping midway her 180 she said. "You can cut the act now…just so you know." Then she walked away.

"Wait! What are you talking about?" Ashley started after her, "what the hell do you know about me?"

"Enough…" retorted Spencer as she kept walking, infuriated at the unbelievable attitude that this girl was dishing. Ashley grabbed her arm before she made it through the door, whirling to face her, "Didn't you here me say stop?" her breathing labored from the short distance she had to trod to get to Spencer. "What do you know?" she asked, her eyes searching the blonde's face for the slightest reaction. Feeling the burning heat of Ashley's eyes on her, Spencer turned her head away to prevent an inevitable death stare. "Answer me, _what do you know?_" squeezing tighter at Spencer's wrist, banging her against the locker doors. After a minute of silence, realizing that Spencer wasn't about to talk, her face had grown expressionless and hard. "Fine, go…I don't wanna hear it. Just go." Releasing the hold she had on Spencer's wrist. Ashley turned away, and Spencer just walked out coolly. _Why did I just do that?_ Ashley stood staring at the pale green walls, _she didn't deserve that…nobody does. _Turning to walk through the door, Ashley noticed Spencer's ID on the floor and picked it up, gazing intently on the headshot of the girl she just prison smacked, a small smile playing on her lips, then fading as she put it in her purse and walked to class.

Ashley walked into Geometry, late and in fashionable style as usual.

"Miss Davies, how wonderful of you to grace us with your presence," a sarcastic Mr. Taylor bellowed when Ashley flashed him with a charming smile causing the old man to blush. "Take your seat Miss Davies." Then noticing the only seat left was beside Spencer, Ashley's smile went and her pace slowed. She sat carefully, and then looking across at Spencer whose face was expressionless. She regretted yelling at Spencer, she hadn't meant to, looking at Spencer who was now rubbing her wrist, she never wanted to hurt her. She only wanted answers…she wanted to know why this girl who had the most beautiful blue eyes kept staring at her, she wanted to know why her reserve was so easily shattered out in the courtyard with just a simple look, simple but it held meaning. She wanted to believe that somebody cared, anybody…but not Spencer, she didn't know her, _gosh…she's only been here a day and she's already started driving me crazy. _

"Hey Aiden, have you seen Spencer?"

"Uum yea but uuh, what do you want with her?" he said raising a suspicious brow.

Feeling as if his question had an underlying meaning, Ashley defending herself responded "_Nothing_."

"Then if it's nothing then why are you looking for her? Hmnh?"

"Jeesh! I just need to apologize alright! I banged her up pretty bad earlier and I just…"

"What do you mean you banged her up!" Aiden jumped at Ashley as if ready to attack, and then he stopped. Looking calmly at Ashley, he realized the disappointment in Ashley's stare as she looked back at him. "Ash, you _have_ to be careful, you can't keep doing what you do, you can't keep hurting people. 'Cause then you hurt yourself and—I don't think I can bear to see you in another hospital." It was the first time Aiden had been sincere, been so real with her since she had hooked up with Simone. She looked at him,

"I _know_ which is why I need to find her. I have to say I'm sorry"

"She went to the bathroom," he said simply.

"Thanks Aid!" and she propped up and kissed him on the cheek then ran off to find Spencer.

"Aiden my _man_, someone's getting close to their ex, hoping to get a little two way action?"

"Shut up Chris! You can be such an ass sometimes" and with that he laughingly slapped his teammate over the head with a folder.

"What—a guy can dream can't he?" the jock said jokingly. Sighing, Aiden responded

"Yea he can." looking off into the direction Ashley had gone.

Spencer was running the water on her wrist, the cold fluid made it sting. Ashley walked up slowly to where she was standing, "Hey." Spencer's brows knitted in obvious confusion.

"I'm sorry ok. I—I didn't mean to."

"Yea well, most people never do." Spencer said turning off the pipe and making her way pass Ashley and to the door. "Wait," Ashley said, sounding a lot more commanding than she had intended. Again she grabbed Spencer's wrist, turning her to face her.

"Ouch!" Spencer yelped in obvious pain.

"Shit, I never— then realizing the red bruise on Spencer's wrist.

"Oh god Spencer, let me see."

"Leave it alone, you've done enough." Ignoring her protest Ashley took Spencer's hand, facing it palm up, brought it to her lips and blew a cool wind, trying to sooth the sore. Spencer felt it sting as the air surfaced her skin. And like tending to a child, she unconsciously kissed the bruise, sending a whirlwind of emotions flooding through Spencer's mind. Almost in an instant she drew her hand from Ashley's grasp. "What are you doing!"

"I—was trying to make it better." And then realizing what she had just done. "Oh god, I hadn't meant."

"Hey, don't worry about it, I shouldn't have snapped."

"Yea well, I shouldn't have handled you like a piece of meat." The reference made Spencer laugh. "Glad to see at least one of us is happy." Then flashing back to earlier when Spencer had heard Ashley crying, the laughter subsided, "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier…I shouldn't have interrupted."

"Shit happens."

"Yea, well whatever it was I hope it gets better soon, I didn't like hearing you cry."

"Really?" Ashley asked, sounding a little too hopeful.

Giggling, Spencer responded "Yea…really."

"Thank you…I guess I better go."

"Oh, ok." A hint of disappointment in her voice, to which Ashley responded,

"Hey, I'll see you tomorrow ok" and with that she walked through the doors, smiling at the idea of being around Spencer in a less intense setting.


	5. Chapter 5

Closing the door behind her, Spencer leaned against it and let out a sigh of relief. Startled by her mother's voice,

"Hey honey, how was school?"

"Oh, hey mom…it was," thinking for a minute "ok."

"Oh that's nice, and your classes?"

"They were good, a few nice teachers."

"Made any new friends?"

"Yea, a couple; Aiden, James, Elliot, Chris, Nathan, Chelsea and Arianna"

"Wow, sounds like you had a full day—so,"

"And Ash—," thinking before she finished, then deciding not to say anything.

"Who dear?" Mrs. Carlin said busily setting the table.

"No one," Spencer lied "I have homework."

"Oh ok sweetie, dinners in 20 minutes."

"Yea mom!" she said rushing up the stairs.

_You have one new message, "Ashley darling; I've gone to the Costa with Philippe for the week. Don't worry; I've added two thousand dollars to _

_your account so you should be fine."_

Ashley groaned miserably, "At least I don't have to deal with Mr. I put jalapeños in everything I cook." Walking through the vast space she turned on the lights as she went, making her way to the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator taking out her favorite chunky monkey ice-cream. Grabbing her spoon and sitting at the head of the Victorian styled table, its antique wired design on the arms and footing of the chair, she let out a sigh. Being alone was getting to her now. It was at that thought that her phone started vibrating, taking it out of her purse she saw Simone's name flashing across it. "Hello? Yea, sure…be here in 10. Oh, you're outside? Ok then come on up." Ashley hid the ice-cream back in the freezer, knowing fully Simone's reaction if she ever saw it.

"Hey you," Simone said smiling, taking Ashley's hands and lacing their finger's together. "I've missed you," kissing the brunette's lips, tentatively using her tongue to trace the outline of her mouth. Her hands caressing Ashley's shoulder then trailing down her torso, slowly lifting her shirt. Ashley gasped, giving Simone's wanton tongue access to the insides of her mouth. Then in that deciding moment she kissed her back, fully aware of what happened earlier but not caring because she needed someone, and Simone was there. Ashley's hands started roaming over Simone's back, causing the bronze haired beauty to step back laughing lightly. Wiping the smudge of her lipstick from Ashley's lips, "I didn't come here for that."

"Then why did you." Ashley asked breathing heavily.

"I wanted to officially get back together silly."

"Huh? I'm not sure where you're going with this"

"Well, let's put it this way. Rising star Ashley Davies needs support, and who better to give it than the wonderful, caring, and exceptionally

hot Simone Conrad."

With a thousand on hand feelings rushing back and memories flooding Ashley turned away, her eyes losing the lust that filled them only a moment ago. She went back to the freezer for her ice-cream and sat at the table.

"What are you doing? Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"Yes."

"So? What's your view on my decision?"

Stirring the spoon around in the carton before her, "I think you should leave."

Simone turned red at the girl's gesture. "What do you mean leave!"

"You're nothing but an ignorant, materialistic, shallow person. You don't give a damn about me. Just go," and with that Ashley shoved the

chocolate filled spoon in her mouth.

"You little bitch! You will regret this," then she stormed out, slamming the mansion door behind her. Ashley sighed, leaving the table and

heading into her room. She lay there on the bed going through the contents of her purse, finding Spencer's ID, she smiled at the photo,

tears glistening in her eyes. Turning on her side, she held to tight, closed her eyes and went to sleep.

"Spence I heard you got man handles by Ashley in the girl's locker rooms." Glen said laughing

"Well you heard wrong," she retorted, glaring at him.

"Oh? Is that why you're wearing that sweat shirt with the sleeves rolled down in hot LA?"

"I have a chill."

"Glen, leave your sister…she can wear whatever" a sympathizing Arthur said from the head of the table.

"Honey it _is_ a bit hot tonight," her mother chimed in.

"May I please be excused? I'm tired."

"Yea sure sweetie, see you in the morning," Arthur said rubbing Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer held her wrist, circling a path with her thumb over the bruised area. She thought of how angry Ashley had been when she made

the mark. She also thought of how she was when she found out she had done it. She thought of the kiss Ashley had unconsciously placed

there to try and make her fix her mistake. A small smile tugged at Spencer's lips, as she touched the bruise again, _Ashley_. Closing her

eyes, she drifted into a deep sleep, the smile never leaving her face.

"Good Morning class, turn to chapter 17 and get started on the first and third activity, all assignments and homework are to be handed in

after class, _including_ this one."

"Oh god," Ashley groaned, she hardly ever paid attention in class, _what the hell am I gonna do now. I fail again and I'll never live it down_.

Noticing the worried look on Ashley's face,

"Hey, you ok?"

Looking across to her left Ashley was surprised to see Spencer looking in her direction,

"Yes…no…I don't know."

"I can help you out you know; I'm exempted from handing anything in, one of the perks of being the new girl. Plus…I have a book."

Spencer said dangling it in front of Ashley.

"Yea, ok…if you don't mind." She said nervously moving her seat to join it to Spencer's.

By the end of the period Ashley had finished four out of six assignments, a major accomplishment in her book. "Hey, thanks."

"No problem." Spencer waved, walking to the door.

"Hey wait," Ashley ran after her. "Have lunch with me today." Realizing how forward she sounded, "I meant…will you have lunch with me

today?"

Smiling, Spencer said. "Yes."

The next two periods went by pretty slowly; at least that's what Spencer was thinking. Her anticipating lunch with Ashley made the clock

seemed like it was talking a century to move a second. The bell finally let out, _thank god_. Spencer darted for the door, making her way first

to the cafeteria then the courtyard, eyes eagerly searching for Ashley. "Looking for me?" someone whispered in her ear from behind,

startling Spencer.

"As a matter of fact, yes." She said turning to meet the smiling brunette, her eyes shining. Finding a seat a little more secluded Ashley and

Spencer sat.

"Not eating?" Realizing that Ashley didn't have a tray.

"No, not my style…cafeteria food that is."

"Oh," Spencer said looking down at her tray,

"Hahaha, it's not bad, they just never have what I want." Ashley said, managing to get a smile from Spencer. Then looking around

Spencer spotted Aiden who was staring right at her, disappointment clearly showing on his face.

"Hey Ash, I'll be right back."

"Yea, no problem."

Walking over to Aiden she touched his arm lightly, "Hey you."

"Hey,"

"I wanted to tell you but I couldn't find you."

"You're hanging with Ashley now?"

"Not hanging, just having lunch. She asked, I didn't wanna be rude."

Aiden looked away.

"Hey, you're still my favorite tour guide, my number one, the first…ok?"

Smiling Aiden looked up at her, "Just be careful."

"I will," and she went back to where she and Ashley were sitting.

"What was that about?" Ashley asked as Spencer got back to the table.

"Nothing really, just being protective I suppose."

"Yea, he has every right to be."

"Why would you say something like that?"

"I'm not a good person Spencer; I mean…I'm not the best person to have around."

Looking sympathetically at Ashley, "Let me be the judge of that." Reaching across and rubbing her arm. Ashley smiled, looking up at her,

and for a moment silence lingered in the air.

"So what kinds of music do you like Spencer?"

"I've never thought about it…I don't know."

"How is that possible? You _have_ to decide, your life ends if it doesn't have rhythm, lyrics…feeling."

"What kinds of music do you like then?"

"Wow, anything that calms my mood, simple, good rock songs, my dad's music."

"Is that why you're always writing music notes in class?"

Surprised, Ashley said, "You notice that?"

"Well yea, you sit right beside me, what's not to notice?"

"Come over later, I'll help you find your musical calling."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"I have a room full of records, CDs, whatever. My own personal music store."

"Cool, I'd like that."

Pulling up to Ashley's driveway which was about a half a mile from the actual gate, Spencer got out of the Aston Martin convertible. "_holy shit." Noticing the look on Spencer's face, Ashley frowned,_

"No…no. no. no"

"You _live here Ash?_

"Yea, my mom too, whenever she's here that is…and whichever guy she's dating at the time."

"There has to be at least ten rooms in there."

"Twelve actually, minus the bathrooms." Opening the door, "c'mon, and will you please act normal, it's just a house Spence."

"A very _big house." The furniture were all antiques, the crystal chandelier hung in the center of the living room which had old Victorian paintings with their golden laced frames hung on either sides._

"C'mon my room's this way." The only thing Spencer saw was Ashley's huge walk-in closet.

"Wha—well a girl has to change right?"

"Right…"Anyway, the CDs are over here. Flipping through the CDs, Spencer found a Nirvana classic EP "Smells like Teen Spirit". "You like that huh?"

"I have to say, it's the only rock song I ever remember listening to without feeling confused."

"That's weird, took me a while to catch the chorus…I eventually had to Google it."

"Yea well, Cobain was pretty cool."

"Yea he was." Ashley pressed play on her CD player,

_Take me away from here, my destiny lies with you, with you, with you._

_Everyday my dreams remain the same_

_You come to me, I hold you close then you disappear…_

"Hey, whose song is that?"

"My dad's."

"I like it, say where is he though?"

"I don't know, touring? I don—I'm not sure."

"Sorry Ashley," Spencer whispered, hearing the disappointment in Ashley's voice that she wasn't able to answer the question.

"Yea well, after fifteen years of the same thing you kinda get used to it."

"Not you though…"

"What do you mean?"

"You're never gonna get used to it. You tolerate it, but you haven't accepted it, that's why you hurt so much."

"Wow, you're even more precise than my therapist." Spencer laughed at this, picking up an old dance mix CD. "Play this" she said, handing it to Ashley.

"Hmnh, nice selection."

The music started to play and Spencer started to sway her hips,

_1…2…1…2, is this where you want me?_

_2…1…2…1, let me show you how it's done._

Ashley watched as the blonde rocked her hips, flawless movements with skilled timing and precision to the beat, she was caught in a trance.

"Come dance with me Ash," she said smiling.

"I don't do…" Spencer grabbed her before she could finish protesting. Holding her hands firm on Ashley's waist, "I'll teach you." She slowly rocked, moving Ashley's hips in line with her own, pulling her back and forth, and sidestepping to get the footwork together.

_I'm ready when you are 1…2…1…2_

_Show me what you want…_

Spencer drew Ashley closer into her, her body now pressed up against her. Ashley's skin was burning at the proximity between them. As the music kept playing Spencer's hands moved up from Ashley's waist to her torso, holding her closely and swaying as she went. Ashley let out a small sigh, tilting her head back; she couldn't remember the last time she'd been touched like this. She turned to face Spencer, getting more into the movements. Snaking her arms around Spencer's waist pulling her even closer then, moving her face to the hollow in the blonde's neck, inhaling her scent, Ashley's nose skimming Spencer's jaw line, her breath caught as she felt Spencer's hand traveling down her spine.

_I'm here with you…let's make it last_

_2…1…1…2_

The music stopped and Spencer's pace slowed. As if the song ending had brought her back to reality, she froze. Realizing the intimate position she found herself in, Spencer nearly fainted. Ashley held her still, not wanting to let go, her head rested on Spencer's shoulders.

"Are you ok?" her voice sounding strangely hoarse. Then without responding, Ashley looked up at her, her eyes dark. She held Spencer's face in place, whispering _thank you in her ear before kissing her cheek. The feel of Ashley's lips on her skin made Spencer's blood boil. Then as if possessed by something she grazed her lips across her jaw, kissing the edge of her mouth, Spencer's breath caught giving Ashley the opportunity to kiss her fully, feverishly nipping at her bottom lip, reveling in the moment at hand. Ashley stopped, realizing that Spencer wasn't responding. Looking at her, Ashley was unable to read her eyes. "What's wrong?"_

_Then almost breathless, her chest heaving and her body shaking, "Ashley…I—I'm not…" Before she could finish Ashley entwined their hands together, then taking it up to her face, skimming her nose along their union, she kissed Spencer's hand, "You're not, but you want this." Her eyes dark and shining, knowing that what Ashley said was true. "I can't." her voice low and husky. Ashley's free hand left Spencer's waist and moved under her shirt, her fingers caressing the soft skin making Spencer's body burn under her touch. "It's ok." Ashley breathed against her lips before kissing her, Spencer's lips parted; inviting Ashley's tongue to explore the secrets she hid. Spencer's hands came up, holding the brunette's face in place, and taking control, she kissed Ashley lightly, licking a path around her mouth, and then deepening the kiss, tugging at Ashley's lips, wanting more. She pulled away, both women breathing ragged and labored, she whispered against Ashley's mouth, "I can't" then pulled out of her grasp.  
_


	6. Chapter 6

Ashley stood in the middle of the room, eyes closed and still breathing heavily, trying to slow the rate at which her heart was beating, only opening her eyes after a moment. "Spencer," her voice still hoarse, looking across at Spencer who was now leaning against the wall staring blankly out the window; hearing her name, Spencer turned to face Ashley. It was then that Ashley saw the tears, streaming uncontrollably. Rushing over to her side, "What's wrong?" she asked touching the blonde's shoulder. Shaking her head, Spencer responds, "I don't know"

"Was it—did I hurt you?"

"No, it's no that," the sobs becoming evident now. She drawled to the floor and buried her face in her hands.

"Spence, no…please don't" trying to console her. Ashley didn't like seeing people hurt, Spencer was no exception. Stooping beside her she ran her hands through Spencer's hair soothingly combing it backwards. "Please stop crying."

"I don't know why I just did that,"

"Did what?" there was no response…"c'mon Spence did what?"

"I don't know why I kissed you," she said muffled behind the tears.

A look of regret sweeping over Ashley's face, "you didn't…like it?"

Looking up at Ashley, she managed a half smile beyond the tears, shaking her head "it's not that."

"Then what was it?"

"Ash…you're a girl, I'm a girl…I shouldn't have," then turning her head away from Ashley, gazing out the window once more, "What I feel, what I've been feeling…it just doesn't..."

"Oh, that," Ashley said flatly. Then after a minute, sitting beside Spencer on the floor, "Look, Spencer…I don't know why what just happened did alright, but I don't regret it." Then positioning in front of Spencer, holding her face in place and using her thumb to wipe the tears that came from those beautiful blue eyes, "You feel confused, I know that, I've been where you are now." Spencer listened intently, "But I'm not gonna tell you how to feel or what to do, I will be there for though…try to help, you know."

"You will?" Spencer asked, looking at Ashley with hopeful eyes.

"Yes. I'll be your friend. Give you pointers, what and _who_ not to do," Ashley smiled.

Nodding her head Spencer responded, "I'd like that." Then she thought about her family, her mother and the tears started flowing again, harder than before. "What's wrong now?"

"My parents…" Then knowing there was really nothing she would be able to say in that respect Ashley pulled Spencer to her, holding her tightly, rocking her back and forth, whispering _don't cry, it'll be ok…I'm here for you._ Feeling overwhelmed she placed a kiss on Spencer's head, all the while the blonde's tears soaking her favorite shirt, Ashley didn't mind.

Spencer had fallen asleep and Ashley had sat there with her, her chin rested on Spencer's head, looking about the room. She had wondered what she had done to get to this point. It was only a day ago she was glaring at and giving death stares to the girl who now lay peacefully in her arms. It made her feel at ease, she loved that someone could find comfort in her, or that she could find comfort in someone else, she hadn't had that in the longest while. She never had with Simone what she was now experiencing with Spencer, this simplicity…this truth, Simone was never simple. With her it was all about who's hot and what's next, Ashley's connections to the elite high life made it easy for Simone to get recognition on the A-list LA scene, and it seemed that was all she ever really cared about. Ashley frowned at the thought. She tried to remember the last time she had had a beautiful woman in her arms that she hadn't slept with for them to be there, surprisingly she couldn't remember, there were never any. Spencer would be her first, she was her first. A grin played across Ashley's lips…she thought she had been through all her 'firsts'. A moan escaped Spencer's lips as she woke, "hey there sleepy head" Ashley smiled. Spencer sat up, pulling herself from Ashley's embrace, rubbing her eyes as she stared dully at the brunette.

"What time is it?"

Reaching for her cell behind her Ashley said, "6:21"

"Oh god," the blonde groaned

"You ok?" Ashley asked moving towards her,

"Yea…it's just; I had this thing with my dad at 5:00,"

"You were sleeping, and you'd been crying, I thought—I didn't wanna wake you. Sorry"

"It's ok Ash," smiling at the brunette and kicking playfully at her leg to get a smile out of her. "My dad won't mind…he's the understanding one," her smile fading as she remembered her internal coming out not too long ago. Rubbing the girls knee, "hey Spence, it's not gonna be easy, but it will be ok. And if it's not…I'll make it ok," her eyes growing dark, revealing the lust that hid itself so quietly. Spencer blushed at the obvious sexual undertone.

"I should go…"she said getting off the floor.

"Oh, yea…it's getting late. Wait, I'll take you, a bus at this hour"—stopping before she could finish, realizing she'd never done the whole bus system. "I'll grab my keys." Walking to the door Ashley saw her mother sprawled on the sofa, her feet being tended to by a muscular Latino in spandex briefs and a handcuff swinging from one arm. "Mother…"

"Ashley dear, are you going out?"

"Yea…this is Spencer, my friend."

"I see," her mother said sitting up and eyeing Spencer carefully, "your _friend _had better not be a thief, alcoholic or psychologically malfunctioning, I'm tired of those _friends_." Rolling her eyes, Ashley grabbed Spencer's arm and pulled her to the door, wanting to avoid her mother's ghastly attitude. As the girls reached outside Spencer asked, "What was that about?"

"Ignore her, that was my mother being her usual annoying self."

"No, what did she mean about your _friends_?"

"Nothing." Ashley said getting into the car. Spencer stood looking at her, "are you coming or what?"

"What did she mean Ashley?" her voice pleading with the brunette to let her in.

"Aren't you getting in," she retorted getting annoyed.

"Its fine, I'll walk."

"Spencer…please," getting out of the car, Ashley started after her. "Wait," she said, holding onto the girl's arm. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, you're upset." After a moment's laps, "Those _friends_…girls, women I'd been with. They stole from us, my mother doesn't accept my _choices_ and the fact that I can never seem to find someone decent makes it worse."

"So exactly how many have you been with?"

"Uum, 6—7? Yea, but that was in the beginning, I was with Simone for 8 months." Spencer's obvious uneasy reaction made Ashley shut up about Simone, _not the best topic_ she thought.

"Will you just let me take you home? Please…?" nodding her head Spencer walked back to the car. "I promise I'll be good." Ashley said smiling.

"We're here…"

"Yea we are…"

"So…see you tomorrow?"

"Yea, sure."

The tension in the air hung like a thick mist over the country area, Ashley sighed and looked up at the sky, "the stars are out tonight."

"Make a wish," Spencer said simply.

"I don't believe in wishes…"

Turning to face her, the blonde questioned, "why not?"

"They never come true…"

"Maybe you haven't been wishing hard enough."

"Oh yea? What do you know about 'em?

"I believe in them…"

"Why?"

"'cause mine came true." it was then that Ashley's eyes left the stars and looked at Spencer,

"Which one?" Spencer didn't answer, her hands moved slightly, touching the brunette's wrist, her fingers tapping her outer palm. Ashley turned her hand and held Spencer's lightly, lacing their fingers together, "Which one?" Spencer breathed in deep and turned her head to look at the stars, "If you want it…it will happen."

"Spence…which one?"

Releasing her hand from Ashley's, "I'll see you tomorrow Ash,"

Ashley's smile beamed, surpassing a thousand bright lights. "Ok, and Spencer, about earlier…the _friends_, I'm sorry. I don't do that anymore"

"I know, but don't worry about it, I'll see you tomorrow."

**Ok guys, thank you soooo much for the responses, I am trying to get more of the "leading up to" sort of story..and not just the instant attraction, its there, but I want the characters to feel before they can experience...get it?**

**This chapter is possibly gonna be the shortest...it was the the hardest for me to do so far as I was tryna get Spencer and Ashley in an intimate setting, exploring the possibilities without the declaration of love or the sex, its TOO EARLY FOR THAT!**

**but I will keep u posted! Thank you guys again soooo very much**

**xxxxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

Ashley lay there, watching the lights go on and off as she flicked the flashlight. She had watched Spencer walk to her door, thinking _morning would take forever to get here_, before she could see her beautiful face again. She remembered how Spencer had held her, touched her, and when she kissed her, she had wanted to keep her there, not move. _Be realistic Ashley Davies, you're just getting out of a whack relationship, you don't know her, and she's a confused…this girl's possibly just using as her science project, but damn she can kiss_. Ashley grinned; she wouldn't mind being Spencer's project if it meant feeling like that everyday.

"Dear Lord as we're about to eat, bless this food and may we have love and peace in abundance, Amen."

"Amen."

"So guys, how was school?"

"Coach put me in starter position for Friday's game." Glen said

"Oh sweetie that's great!" Paula beamed,

"I scored a hundred in AP-Physics," Clay chimed in before stuffing his mouth.

"Great job honey," then there was silence, heads turned in Spencer's direction who was smiling senselessly to herself.

"Spence…sweetie?" Arthur said sounding concerned

"Huh? Oh…" snapping back to reality, blushing at the staring eyes of her family, "school was good."

Paula Carlin smiled at this, "_who is he_ Spencer?"

"Who's who mom?"

"C'mon sweetie, I know that look…I used to have the same one whenever I thought about your father," then turning to her husband eyeing him a thoughtfully.

"Mom!" her face turning red, the boys at the table burst out laughing.

"_What_ sweetie? Am I wrong?" she said eyeing her daughter. Spencer didn't want to say just hoe wrong she was. As she started to speak the doorbell rang, "Expecting anyone?"

"Uuuh, no…don't think so." They said separately. Arthur went to answer the door and a few moments later walked into the dining room with Ashley by his side.

"Clay, Glen…Spencer," she said smiling. Spencer shot up,

"Mom, this is my friend Ashley," moving from the table to go stand by Ashley. Paula eyed the girl thoughtfully, _hmnh…cute, looks to be a bit of a rebel. Nice jewelry, excellent makeup application, flawless_. "Nice to meet you Ashley," Paula said giving the girl an accepted nod. Ashley unconsciously pulled a curtsey causing everyone in the room to laugh, her face burned.

"Ok mom, we're going up to my room, later," and with that Spencer grabbed Ashley's arm and whirled her out of the dining room.

Closing the door behind her, "What are you doing here?" Spencer whispered.

"I came to see you," the brunette smiled "I brought you something."

Moving to sit beside Ashley, "What is it?"

Taking out the CD from the pouch it was in, Ashley handed Spencer the dance mix that she was playing earlier, "this," looking up at Ashley, Spencer was speechless, her eyes shining, getting a 100 watt smile from the brunette who finally spoke to cool the air between them, "you liked it, I thought you should have it, and this as well" taking out Spencer's ID, "well that's yours" she said clearing her throat.

"I _was_ looking for this; they wouldn't let me into that movie without it"

"Sorry, I should've returned it sooner."

"Don't worry about it…" taking the things from Ashley's hand their fingers touched, and for a moment there was nothing, Spencer felt it, the attraction, and the electricity. Ashley sighed, "Spence…" her voice hoarse, all the while never taking her eyes from Spencer's. There was a knock on the door, both girls jumped and extended the distance between them, at that moment Paula opened the door, "you two need anything?" looking about the room.

"No mom, Ashley just brought over some stuff," she said waving the CD in her hand so her mother could see.

"Oh, right…ok. Well then" and with nothing else to say she left the room, leaving the door half ajar. Ashley giggled, "Your mom is psycho."

"Yea, sorry about that," Spencer said apologetically.

"Hmnh, at least she cares," remembering the scene earlier with her own mother. "I better go," she said standing, "see you tomorrow?"

"You bet." Spencer said, getting up to walk Ashley to the door. Both girls stood in the door frame, the tension rising again, Ashley gave Spencer a hug, holding her for a solid minute. It was hard for Spencer to be so close, it made her body languid and her head spin, funny enough she wasn't entirely sure why. "Bye Spencer." And the brunette walked through the door, only looking up to see Spencer at the top of the stairs smiling at her. "Bye." She whispered silently. And Ashley was gone.

Spencer sat on her bed looking at the mix Ashley had brought over. As her fingers traced the words on the cover, her thoughts drifted to the afternoon that had just passed. She hadn't danced since ARTSAC days, and it felt so good to be moving like that again. Then she remembered, Ashley had kissed her…and she kissed her back, her willingness overwhelmed her, made her open up. She had loved the feel of Ashley's touch, when Ashley's hand had reached under her shirt; she wanted to take them higher. She loved the strawberry scent of the brunette's hair, the way she held her with need and longing. Thinking about Ashley made her throat dry, Spencer had never felt needed by anyone outside her family, not even that night at the farm with Carson, she had wanted more, and now she was beginning to know why.

**Alright guys...I'm building...I know it might be a little too slow paced for some so here's what, let me know what you want to happen, I'll implement it and bring it to life.**

**Thanks alot!**


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey Spencer, how's it going? Aiden walked up to the lockers, basketball in hand.

"Hey Aiden," closing her locker Spencer propped around and kissed Aiden on the cheek.

"Ha ha, what was that for?"

"Oh nothing, it's just a great day," she said giggling.

Raising an eyebrow, "Oook, well…as long as I get kissed by a beautiful girl then sure, I'm down."

"What's this about kissing and beautiful girls I hear?" Chelsea said crooning from around the corner.

"Hey Chelsea, before I forget to tell you, my dad said he found the canvases, so you can come pick them up when you're free."

"30x44?"

"Yes! You told him like seventeen times!"

"Good…" and the air hung, as if Chelsea was waiting for Spencer to include something else, and with a sly smile on her face Spencer added, "And yes…Clay will be there." The color in Chelsea's face turned up causing Aiden and Spencer to laugh.

"Hey, let's _not_ make this about me please? Now what was all the talk about kissing beautiful girls?" then another interruption came from behind Spencer, "Who's kissing a beautiful girl?" the all too familiar voice said, causing Spencer to jump.

"Hey Ashley," Chelsea smiled.

"Ash…" Aiden said looking her direction.

"Hey guys," she said staring at Spencer, her smile widening.

"Hey Ashley," her voice shaking, a little too much to her discomfort, the brunette blushed at this.

Silence hung in the air, and for a moment their eyes speaking, Spencer's aquatic blue, _please don't_, to Ashley's chocolate brown, _don't what…_then Spencer sighed her eyes revealing, _I've missed you_, and Ashley grinned, _I_ _know…_then a breath back into their surroundings caused the cloud haze to disappear.

"Ehmm…" sputtered from Aiden

"I'll see you later Spencer," a smiling Ashley walked off, the wind blowing her curls as she turned and flashed a smile. _Epic moment_, Aiden thought, he could never get over just how beautiful she was, and it seemed he wasn't the only one. Turning back to Spencer with a questioning look on his face, "What was that?"

"Yea," Chelsea chimed in, nudging Spencer's shoulder. Then as if searching for something, her eyes scanning the floor refusing to look at her friends, "I don't know what you guys are talking about."

"Yea you do," continued Chelsea, "you were having eye sex with Ashley."

"No I wasn't…eye sex, pssh, that's not even possible."

"Whatever you say Spencer, I've gotta get to class…bye lover-girl."

"Yea, later Chels." Spencer got ahead and started walking to class, leaving Aiden behind.

"Hey Spencer, wait up…" then catching up to her "what was that?"

"What was what?"

"You and Ashley…"

"I told you…nothing."

"Didn't look like nothing to me," he frowned. "I didn't know you were…"

"What Aiden, that I was what! Gay!" she snapped at him, not meaning to, but so flustered at the fact that she herself wasn't entirely sure. When looking at Aiden and seeing the hurt in his eyes, "Aiden…I'm sorry, I just…I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"I don't know if I'm gay…I don't know what I'm feeling, what I'm doing."

Then looking at Spencer with a sympathetic smile, he couldn't be mad at her, she was sweet, "You wanna talk about it?"

"Yes…but…"

"No 'buts', come with me" and dragging her hand he took her to the back of the gym under the trees.

"Wow, this place is so beautiful"

"Yea I know…so yea, talk to me."

"Well…I think I might be gay."

"Because of Ashley?"

"No! Maybe she's made me realize it, but it's not _because_ of her."

"Sorry,"

"It's ok…I've always been trying to feel comfortable, find my groove, love, and it never seemed to be working. I just can't ever remember being free. I dated Carson back in Ohio…her face got glum.

"Who's Carson?"

"My ex-boyfriend. I used to think I was so in love with him, or at least the idea of him."

"So what happened?"

"Michelle Bakers."

"Who's that?"

"She was a transfer student from New York, big city girl come to the small town. Beautiful hazel eyes, flawless lips, perfect smile, slender arms, well toned legs…and the shapeliest body I'd ever seen."

"Whoa…Spencer."

"Yea, Carson had a crush on her, but that didn't bother me, I mean what guy wouldn't. What bothered me was the fact that I couldn't breathe every time she walked into a room." She paused for a moment picking at the rose sticker on the front cover of her book. "I remember I was so intent on being normal, I told Carson that I loved him…that I was ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Sex. I figured if I were to be with Carson, I would feel different, that Michelle would become an afterthought."

"Was it like that?"

"No. She had come to my house one evening for dinner. Glen had brought here there, he introduced us and went downstairs, said we should get acquainted." Spencer scoffed at the memory.

_So what's it like in New York_

"_Fast, it's a lot simpler her, quiet…I like it." She had moved closer to Spencer with that statement, closing the gap between them_

"_That's nice."_

"_Do you like it here Spencer?" _

"_What's not to like?" Her breath caught as the blonde's fingers traced her collar. Michelle leaned in and kissed her, "I like you Spencer." Spencer couldn't breathe, tears were in her eyes, she pushed the girl from her and ran out the house._

"I ran all the way to Carson's house. Told him I was ready. He never hesitated, but when he was about to, I couldn't. I never wanted that, not with him. I told him to stop but he didn't, and he…"

"The bastard!" Aiden said angrily hitting the tree trunk they were sitting on. "I'm so sorry Spencer," he put his hands over her shoulder, rubbing her arm. "You must hate him."

"I did, but you know?"

"Know what?"

"I don't hate men, but also they don't make me second guess myself, they don't make me feel…"

"The way Ashley does?" Aiden finished the sentence with more of a question. She looked up shyly at the wandering green eyes, "No…they don't." Finally admitting to herself that she was attracted to Ashley and that she would want to be more than just her friend.

"Hey it's ok…I understand, and guess what? I'm here for you."

Leaning into him Spencer smiled, "I'm glad. Thank you."

"Uh huh, c'mon though we have to get to class."

At lunch Ashley sat with Aiden, not wanting to rip the friendship he had with Spencer.

"What are you doing over here?" Aiden said laughingly.

"What." She said looking at him, "I've decided to grace you with my awesomeness."

"Yea but why?"

"'cause Spencer sits here, I don't want her to have to chose who she hangs with so here I am."

"What? Ashley Davies thinking about someone besides herself," he added mockingly.

"I guess I am," a huge grin escaping Ashley's lips. "Where is she anyway?"

"I don't know…she should be here soon."

"Cool," opening her book Ashley flipped through the pages, rubbing the eraser hard on the pages, and blowing the debris off the page.

"She cares a lot about you, you know."

This made Ashley look up, "What?"

"Spencer…she cares a lot about you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cut the bullshit Ashley…you obviously like this girl. She likes you too, you've gotta know that."

"Look, Aiden. I—I hardly know her, I'm not looking for that."

"So I don't mean anything to you?" Spencer scoffed and walked away.

"Spencer, wait" then glaring back at Aiden she darted after Spencer, "Spencer wait."

"For what? To hear you tell Aiden and whoever else how you're just fooling around and this means nothing?" Spencer started running, and ran to the spot behind the gym where Aiden had taken her that morning. Ashley followed after her.

"Leave me alone Ashley." And she started off again.

"Spencer wait," grabbing the blonde's wrist she whirled her around to face her.

"Ouch," Spencer yelped, the bruise on her hand two days ago hadn't healed fully.

"I'm sorry," Ashley said quickly letting go, "just don't walk away…please."

"Look, Spencer…back there, it's not what it sounded like."

"Then what was it Ash?" she shot back.

"Gosh! Why are you getting so mad? You're not even sure if you're gay!"

Spencer turned away at this, obvious hurt and confusion drilling through her body. "I am." She whispered.

"What?"

"I am…"

"How do you…"

And turning to look at Ashley, Spencer's tears burned her eyes as she was fighting to hold them back.

"God no…Spencer please don't," moving towards her Ashley held her cheek.

"How do you know?" she asked again.

"Because this is what you do to me Ash," and the tears started to fall freely.

"I'm sorry Spencer…" hugging the blonde, Ashley stroked her hair, "it's ok."

"No it's not. You're not interested in me."

"Spencer that's not true. You have no idea—h"

"Then why did you say that to Aiden?"

Then slightly parting the embrace, Ashley looked at Spencer, "Because I don't _want_ to hurt you." Her eyes got sad as she spoke.

"You're not hurting me…"

"I will. That's just how I am. And I can't do that to you…I wont."

Spencer's eyes pleading with Ashley not to shut her out, "kiss me," she said inching closer to the brunette, her hand stroking the side of Ashley's face.

"Spencer…no," her voice becoming a whisper as her breath caught.

"Please Ash," her lips moving closer kissing the brunette's cheek. Ashley pulled away, "No, Spencer…I can't"

"Why not?"

"Because _I can't_ Spence." She turned to walk away; Spencer grabbed her arm and held her in place. "_Why?_"

"Because for the first time I'm the one wanting something, I'm the one feeling scared about what might happen. I've lived my life for the past twelve years not caring Spencer!"

"Why would you do that?"

"It's an easier way to live. I cared when my dad never showed up at my school concerts, I cared when he left! I cared when my mom doesn't even consider me before she makes her plans. I cared when she tried to get me detoxed instead of just accepting that I was gay. And you know what? I got hurt Spencer…me, I just can't go through with that again. Two days Spencer…and I can't think about anything else but you, the other day when you were crying, and you fell asleep, God knows I wanted to keep you there…just a little bit longer, but I couldn't."

"Ashley…I'm not going anywhere. I won't." Then putting her lips to the brunette's ears, "I care about you too much to ever walk away." Ashley hugged her at this, the words penetrating her brain, she didn't cry, she smiled wanting to trust what Spencer said. It was then that she looked into those beautiful blue eyes that promised so much, inching closer their lips collided. There was no rush in the kiss; Ashley's lips held Spencer's…lingering for a moment before slipping her tongue into the blonde's mouth. Spencer held her there, not wanting her to move, tugging at her bottom lip, placing her own tempting kisses on the brunette. "Thank you." She said pulling back and resting there foreheads together, heated breaths lingering in the miniscule air between them. "I'm not going anywhere," then she smiled placing another kiss on Ashley's lips.

"I hope so," Ashley sighed, hugging Spencer tighter and resting her head on her shoulder. _I hope so._

**Here it is guys...a bit stuck at this point, not sure which idea out of the 10 that I have to put next.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Spence, I need to see you, can you come over. Thanks, oh yea…like now. _

Spencer had just woken up and gotten the voice message, looking at the time on her phone and then checking the time the message was sent she groaned _3 hours._ Rolling out of bed she grabbed her jeans off the floor and shimmied down into them, then reaching across to her dresser drawer she pulled out a t-shirt and threw it on. She rushed down the hall to the bathroom giving her teeth and gums a quick brush and rinse. Running down the stairs, "Mom, Dad…be back soon, going to Ashley's," grabbing an apple off the counter.

"Spencer…it's 9:00AM," Paula reminded her.

"I know mom, but Ashley needs me right now, I'll be home soon. Clay can you drop me off?" turning to her brother who was at the table.

"Yea sure…dad, keys?"

"Here ya go kiddo," Arthur said throwing the keys across the table to his son.

In the car Spencer tried calling Ashley but she wasn't picking up. Spencer looked out the window gazing at the trees as they rushed by.

"What's wrong Spence?" Clay asked seeing the concerned look on her face.

"I'm worried about Ashley…"

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't know, she tried calling me at six this morning and left a voice message…"

"What was it about?"

"She said she needed to see me now…three hours ago," she sighed heavily, running her hand through her hair.

"Look, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure she's ok." Spencer didn't answer, her eyes staring at her upturned wrist. The bruise had almost healed, tracing her fingers across it made a small smile appear despite her turmoil.

"Where'd you get that?" Clay asked snapping Spencer back to reality.

"I—It's nothing," she stuttered,

"Doesn't look like 'nothing' to me Spence…c'mon, you can tell me," he said his face all smiles. This made Spencer feel at ease, she hadn't been spending much time at home this past week and forgot how easy it was to talk to Clay.

"Ashley did it," her mind flashing to the day the brunette body slapped her and strangled her wrists. "B—b—b—but she didn't mean it." She said almost too quickly forgetting, not wanting Clay to assume the worst.

"Aahh, so the rumors were true. Why did she do it?"

"She was upset…" she said, turning her gaze back out the window.

"I don't get it…three days ago she possibly nearly broke your wrist and now you're rushing to her place 'cause she needs you?"

"I told you Clay, she didn't mean to. Besides, we're friends now."

"Oh, ok. Just be careful."

"Turn here…" Spencer said, pointing to the left. When they got to the gate Clay's jaw dropped. Spencer looked across and giggled, more so because that was her the day before. Spencer ran the code through the auto lock and the gates parted. Clay stalled for a good minute.

"Aren't you going to drive Clay?"

"O — oh yea and he pressed on the gas. When they got to the house itself he scratched his head,

"No Clay…it's just a house."

He laughed lightly, "Should I come get you?"

"I'm not sure…I don't know, I'll call you if I need a ride home."

"Oh ok, later Spence," with that he took a turn pacing the journey back home.

Spencer knocked on the door but there was no answer. She turned the knob to find it was unlocked and let herself in, closing the door behind her.

"Ashley…?" she walked down the hall and turned at Ashley's door only to find Ashley passed out on the floor. _Oh dear god._ Rushing to the girl's side Spencer knelt beside her, holding her head up and resting it on her lap. She lightly slapped her jaw, "Ashley…Ashley…Ash, wake up," but she didn't, she only groaned and turned to her side, her head falling hard from Spencer's lap. Spencer got up and lifted the brunette slightly, trying to get her off the floor and unto the bed. After a while she succeeded in getting Ashley slumped on the edge of the bed, then moving behind her, she gently drew her up into the middle of the bed, getting a pillow under her head. Spencer then got to picking up the things on the floor, she found a bottle of Jack Daniels at the edge of the bed, and it was half empty. She looked over at Ashley and sighed. After straightening the room she went and sat by Ashley. Peering over her, she watched her sleep. _She looked so peaceful_, Spencer thought. Impulsively Spencer used the tips of her finger to trace the contours of Ashley's jaw, running across her nose, and then using her thumb, she dragged it lazily across the brunette's bottom lip. _She's beautiful_. Bending her head, she could smell the liquor on Ashley's breath, but it didn't matter, she wanted to kiss her, and she did. Replacing her thumb with her lips, Spencer nipped at the sleeping girls bottom lip, dragging her tongue around the frame of her lips, tasting the sweetness on Ashley's mouth. Then turning her head slightly to get better access, she kissed her fully, achieving a moan from Ashley who was unconsciously smiling. Spencer dressed back, her face flushing a hot pink. She got up and sat across the room in the chair, watching Ashley sleep and keeping herself out of trouble.

3 hours later…

Ashley stirred and stretched; she opened her eyes for a split second and winced at the bright light. Rubbing her eyes she groaned, "Oooh, my head." Then turning to the side she spotted Spencer in the chair. _She came_. The brunette slowly sat up, holding her head as the room seemed to be spinning. Slowly walking over to the chair trying not to fall over she touched Spencer's arm. The blonde sat up and rubbed her eyes, "You're awake…"

"Yea I am,"

"What time is it?"

"12:45…"

"Wow,"

"You came…" Ashley said smiling.

"Yea, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know…" the brunette whispered, walking over to the large sliding doors leading to the balcony of her room. Spencer got up and walked after her, "Ash, what is this?" she asked holding up the half empty liquor bottle up in front of her. Ashley didn't answer. "Well…" Spencer probed again.

"It was nothing…"

"Look, if you're not going to talk about it I should go,"

"No…Spencer, please don't," she said holding onto the blonde's hand, "I wanted to see you, to talk to you…and when you didn't show I just…"

"Ash…it was 6 in the morning, on a Saturday?" Spencer laughed, "Who is awake at that hour besides our parents?"

Ashley smiled, "You do have a point." Then not trying to stray from the point Spencer said seriously, "Besides that…this isn't the way to handle things" she said pointing at the bottle.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't say you're sorry…just don't do it again."

"I won't," Ashley retorted, looking up at Spencer with shining eyes. Spencer wanted to believe her, to trust what she was saying, but she couldn't.

"Let's go get you cleaned up;" taking her hand Spencer led Ashley to the bathroom, giving her a playful push inside and closing the door, "I'll be here when you get out."

After about an hour Ashley pranced out of the bathroom scantily clad in her panties and bra drying her hair with a towel. Spencer, who was making the bed, turned around and tripped over a book that was still lying on the ground, obviously shocked at the entrance. Ashley giggled,

"Are you ok Spence?"

"Yea," she said, her face flushing a hot pink.

"C'mon, let me help you up," Ashley stretched a hand so Spencer could take it. Then realizing the girl's embarrassment she said, "You know Spence, you're going to have to get used to seeing naked chicks…" The blonde's face turned a higher shade at Ashley's comment.

"I—I—yea."

"Spencer Carlin you are hilarious."

Moving to the closet doors, "What are you in the mood for wearing?" eagerly trying to change the subject.

"I don't know anything really."

"I see," raising a questioning brow.

"In fact…nothing in that closet suits my Saturday, not this one anyway," and moving to her drawer she pulled out an AC DC t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts, "_These_ are what I'm in the mood for," throwing the clothes at Spencer.

"Simple…yet sexy."

"You think it's sexy?"

"Very," Spencer said daringly, walking over to the brunette, pinning her against the dresser. For a moment their eyes locked, calm blues staring into lustful dark ones.

"It's too early for that," Ashley spoke, inhaling sharply ducking to get out of Spencer's hold.

"You're right," Spencer said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "So what _is_ it time for then?"

"Food!" Ashley grinned as she pulled her shirt over her head.

"Pasta?" Spencer chimed in.

"Yeeessss, how'd you know?"

"I don't know," shrugging her shoulder's she walked out of the room, down the hall and into the kitchen. "Pass me the cheese out of the refrigerator, some tomatoes and garlic powder." As she dried her hands, "Ashley where do you keep the pots and pans? And oh, I need some salt."

"You sound so professional."

"Not really, I just know my way around the kitchen."

"Well, that's more than I can say for myself," Ashley said passing Spencer a saucepan.

After setting the pot on the stove and doing what needed to be done Spencer went into the living room where Ashley was sitting.

"You're finished already?"

"For the most part, getting the sauce ready."

"Oh," and Ashley turned back to the television flipping through the channels. Spencer realized the uneasy look on Ashley's face, "What's wrong Ash?" walking over to the couch and sitting beside her, "c'mon, you can talk to me," Spencer tuned, rubbing her arms up and down, then turning to face her Ashley spoke.

"I've been thinking."

"What about?"

"Yesterday, behind the gym."

Spencer looked away as the memories came flooding back, she had been so desperate…so needy, she had begged Ashley to be with her, and she was rejected.

"Oh…"

"Spence, look at me," turning the blonde's face to her and firmly but gently holding it in place.

"What is it Ash?"

"Spencer, I've been doing a lot of thinking."

_This can't_ _be good_ she thought. "Yes,"

"And my decision is…_this_ can't happen…_we_ can't happen."

The instant Ashley said that Spencer felt her eyes water and the salty liquid stinging from her refusal to let it fall freely.

"You can't mean that," Spencer said her voice a whisper. Then motioning to get up Ashley pulled her back down, seeing the hurt in those beautiful blue eyes.

"Spence, I'm not trying to hurt you, but this isn't going to work."

"Let me go Ash," Spencer whimpered as she struggled to get free from the brunette's grasp.

"I'm not letting you go until I make you understand."

"There's nothing to fucking understand! You don't want me! Just say it!" And shoving Ashley back she got up and walked out of the living room and went back to the kitchen. Ashley knew not to follow her. _God how do I make her understand_. Ashley bent forward and letting her head rest in her hands, she let out an audible sigh. When she walked into the kitchen she saw Spencer hovered over the sink, her body shaking because she was crying. Oh god no. Ashley walked over to the sink and snaked her arms around Spencer's waist, pressing her body into Spencer's back. Then she whispered in her ear trying to soothe her, "shh…shh, it's ok, don't cry. I'm sorry Spence." She rested her head on Spencer's back, "it's going to be ok." Being so close to Spencer, Ashley's body began to react. Despite her efforts to put a distance between them and save herself, she couldn't help leaning in and inhaling the honey scented smell in the blonde's hair, her nose skimming the nape of Spencer's neck, tempted to taste it. Spencer felt the tension in the air and her body froze. Ashley's hands moved from Spencer's waist; one rested on her hip and the other found its way under her shirt massaging the blonde's stomach. Spencer let out a low moan at the feel of Ashley's hot hands under her shirt. The moan made Ashley ground her body more into Spencer. Spencer held Ashley's hand in place, her face still wet with tears. Turning fully so she could see Ashley's face Spencer said,

"Why are you doing this Ashley? One minute you tell me there can't be an 'us' and the next you have your hands all over me."

"I don't know Spence."

"Well I'm not some damn toy Ash! I'm worth fucking more than this!"

"I know," Ashley responded lowly, her hands moving upwards, cupping the sides of Spencer's face and her lips kissing the wetness from her cheeks. "I'm sorry Spence."

"Quit saying that! You're always sorry; you keep apologizing then doing the same bullshit."

"Spencer…"

"Make up your mind Ashley, what do you want?"

Then as if Spencer's words threw her into another time zone Ashley went blank. Her mind wandered to when she just met Spencer, Spencer's piercing blue eyes kept a cool appearance as she watched her. She thought of how Spencer had come out to her and it was so emotional it made Ashley's heart swell. Spencer had fallen asleep in her arms, and she had wanted to keep her. This girl needed her, and Ashley needed her as well. Spencer's kisses had made her body quiver and her entire resolve broken…

"What do you want Ashley?"

Without answering, Ashley took Spencer's hand in hers and laced their fingers together, and then bringing the union in view between the both of them, Ashley kissed it, "I want _this_..._us_."

"Kiss me Ashley." The words a whispered hush between the two. Ashley didn't hesitate, she leaned in, crashing her lips against Spencer's, tasting the faint strawberry crush lip gloss she was wearing yesterday. Spencer's mouth hot and earnest opened under Ashley's as the kiss became more intense, giving Ashley's tongue access, their tongues moved together in unison…tasting, reveling, and feeling with great intensity, the passion that both had to offer. Ashley's free hand trailed up Spencer's side, causing her to moan. Spencer had worked up a full amount of confidence for what she was about to do. Spencer's lips left Ashley's and sought an assault on the brunette's neck, kissing and licking a path down to her collarbone, and lightly nipping and bighting it back up to her lips; kissing Ashley with enough fierceness and need to overwhelm the both of them. Ashley's hands trailed down to Spencer's hips, pushing her against the sink and lifting her so she was sitting on the edge of the sink, and then stepping between her legs she started kissing Spencer again, "you taste so _good_," pulling back for a split second before leaning back in, stopping only moments later as both girls were out of breath. Resting her forehead against Ashley's, "you're amazing," she said, her breathing ragged and hitched.

"What can I say? You inspire me," Ashley said, looking into Spencer's eyes, her own eyes revealing the lust that was still there.

"Come here," Spencer smiled, lightly kissing Ashley's lips. Then turning her head away to sniff the air,

"Hmnh, something smells good."

"That's me," referring to the sauce that she left in the kitchen. Gently putting Ashley a feet away, Spencer hopped off the edge of the sink only to have Ashley pin her down, "Don't leave," she said, her eyes pleading.

"Ashley, the stove?"

"Spencer…Ashley?"

"Oh come on," Spencer said smiling

"I thought you'd never let up," and again the kissing started, slow and tentative, Spencer let out an audible gasp.

"Ashley," Spencer said breathlessly

"What?" as she continued kissing her, Ashley biting gently into the side of Spencer's neck.

"We need to stop."

"That's crazy," clutching the hem of her shirt, Ashley started to lift Spencer's shirt, her fingers making lazy patterns on the blonde's soft skin. This made Spencer's stomach tighten, an explicit moan escaping her lips, making her flush at the wanton need that Ashley awakened in her. Spencer kissed by, taking Ashley's hips and pressing her body hard against her own. Her jean clad leg slipping between Ashley's naked ones. This made the brunette sigh; taking the initiative she reached forward unbuttoning Spencer's jeans and unzipping it. Spencer grabbed her arms, her voice hoarse, "We need to stop."

"No we don't," placing a chaste kiss on Spencer's lips.

"If we don't stop you're going to starve," she said jokingly.

"No I won't,"

"I thought you were hungry," Spencer raised a questioning brow.

"I am…"

"But…"

A wide grin appearing on Ashley's face, "You've changed my preferences." With that said she lowered herself, placing butterfly kisses all over Spencer's stomach. The blonde threw her head back, her breathing becoming labored, she couldn't remember a time when she ever felt so exposed, so open to the possibilities of making love on the kitchen floor. A small smile tugged at her lips. Then she smelled the sauce, it was long overdue to be taken off the fire. She held Ashley's arms and lifted her to her feet, then holding her face firmly in her clasp, Spencer kissed her softly. "I'm not letting you do this. Food now, Spencer later…maybe," placing a peck on Ashley's cheek, Spencer cleared her throat, fixed her rustled clothes, washed her hands and went back to the stove.

Ashley stood staring at her as she stirred the pan, her eyes drifted, from Spencer's legs to her small waist and slender arms, of course stopping at the view of Spencer's cute perked ass. She walked over to her and ran her arms up and down her spine, placing a kiss at the nape of Spencer's neck, "I'll be out there if you need me." And she left the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Spencer walked into the living room with a tray, on it there was a plate of pasta, with exceptionally well made tomato sauce, mixed with parsley and spices and a bottle of Evian. Ashley saw Spencer enter the room and sat up and rubbed her eyes, "Hey,"

"Were you sleeping?"

"No, just bored."

Spencer smiled at her, "I brought you food, still hungry?"

"You bet!" as she got up and took the tray from Spencer. She sat with her left leg nipped under her butt and her right dangling at the edge of the couch, Spencer sat across from her with her knees hauled up to her chin, resting her head there.

"This looks so good." Ashley twirled the fork around and lifted it to her mouth, her eyes brightened as the taste tantalized her buds. "This tastes amazing! Spencer, you're such a good cook."

"Well, I learned from the best," she said referring to her dad.

Ashley dug the fork into the hill high pasta, twirling it in the hot sauce and stuffed it in her mouth. After a moment she looked up, felt eyes watching her.

"Aren't you eating?" her mouth full, feeling the heat rush up her face.

Spencer smiled, "no, I'm not hungry. Besides, I made it for you."

"You should have some," digging the fork into the plate again.

"Maybe later."

After a while Ashley finished eating and let out a hefty sigh.

"That was so good. Thanks Spence," she said rising from the couch to take the empty tray to the kitchen sink.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," she said stretching her legs out in the couch. Ashley stepped back into the living room after getting rid of the dishes and walked over to Spencer, lifting her legs then sitting down and resting them on her lap. After what seemed like an endless thread of silence, the brunette spoke,

"Spencer…"

"No Ash…don't say anything," knowing exactly that Ashley wanted to talk about what just happened.

"Just here me out," her eyes searching Spencer's for an answer before she started speaking again, the muttered _okay_ she received led her on.

"I like you…a lot. But what are we doing here?"

"I—I" voice trailing as she picked at the cushion she held before her realizing she didn't have an answer.

"This isn't safe for you Spence…_I'm_ not safe for you."

_How could she say that? _

After a clear moment of thought Spencer spoke,

"Ashley, you asked what was going on and the truth is…I don't know," she thought carefully, not wanting to sound foolish, letting out a sigh before she spoke again, "all I know is, there's an aching need to be next to you everyday. When I see you my head starts spinning and I can't get that stupid smile off my face. When you kiss me…"

"That's all gonna pass Spence, you won't feel that way once you get to know the real me."

"Fuck Ashley! Why does it always come back to this? What _real_ you, isn't this the _real_ you? Am I looking at an alien?"

"Christ Spencer, stop making this harder than it already is!" getting up in obvious frustration Ashley walked to the dining table pressing down hard against it, fists clutched fighting the urge not to hit someone.

"Then _why_ did you kiss me? Why did you make me feel so…so amazingly complete, and now…" walking after Ashley Spencer stood at the frame of the door.

"Spencer you should go…I can't do this, not now."

"Ashley…" the tears started welling up and the pain evident in her voice as it broke on the brunette's name.

"Don't cry, please Spencer," walking towards the motionless figure leaning against the door frame, reaching out to touch her, only grabbing the blonde's wrist forcefully when she tried to move away. With both wrists being held tightly and Ashley's body pressed up against her, Spencer had no choice but to listen while the heated tears fell from her eyes.

"_I'm not good for you. I'm a fucking screw up Spencer! God! Why won't you get a clue?"_ blowing heavily as her chest heaved with anger and her heart lurching with pain as she saw the tears fall from a sea of blue, she didn't want to hurt Spencer but Ashley was protecting herself. It wouldn't have been the first time someone like Spencer walked into her life, promising the world then breaking her heart, taking everything with them in the process.

"You're beautiful you know that?" whispers reached Spencer's ears making her body weak against all the pain she was feeling, "Anyone would be lucky to have you, but that won't be me."

Spencer's tears fell harder; she couldn't understand why Ashley's rejection was tearing away at her so much. The pain she felt was incomparable.

"I'm doing you a favor Spencer…"

"Don't fucking touch me," the blonde seethed, dragging her hands from Ashley's, "I'll be sure to remember that." A bitter taste in her mouth as she left the room.

_This is for the best_ Ashley thought. _She'll be fine on Monday; she just needs some sleep…it's been a rough week_. After minutes of coaxing over in her brain Ashley wasn't sure if what she was saying was meant for Spencer, or for her.

[Ring…Ring…]

"Ok class, 'King Lear' Act 5. Who can tell me what's happening at this point?" The class fell silent, no hands raised. Ashley's eyes scanned the class, _damn_, why did she decide to show up early? Looking to her left she realized Spencer wasn't there. Then trying to evade the teacher from picking on her Ashley sank lower in her seat, she raised the book before her and began scanning the pages, trying to look busy. _Don't call my name…don't call my name…don't_,

"Miss Davies, would you mind telling us the context of the story at this point?"

Laughing nervously Ashley spoke, "Well…Mrs. B, I uuuh. The book's pretty much sunk at this point. Lear might as well kill himself," the class laughed. _Nice save Davies_.

Looking skeptical at the brunette, Mrs. Berkmar shook her head, "Miss Davies, I would like it if you were to be a little more specific next time," and then she proceeded to the rest of the class. Ashley sunk lower, not embarrassed but a wave of depression washed over her she couldn't wait to get out of class.

At lunch Ashley's eyes nervously scanned the crowd hoping to glimpse Spencer to see if she was ok. Her eyes drifted over to Aiden's table but no one was there, the boys had had a big Sunday game and usually slept off the celebration the next day but still…Spencer should've been there.

_Fuck it, I don't care_. Another two days passed and still Spencer was a no show, and for everyday that passed Ashley became more sick, she started to blame herself for Spencer missing school, _I mean…what else could it be?_ She had decided to go see her later, find out why those beautiful blue eyes had been evading King High.

The entire drive over to Spencer's Ashley was taking deep breathing exercises to calm down. Her body was overworked and her mind was spaced. Getting out of the car she slowly walked to the door. Raising her hand to knock on the door, it swung open before she had a chance.

"Hey Ashley!" Arthur grinned at the surprised girl.

"Hey Mr. C…is—a"

"You're here to see Spencer?"

"Yes…is she home?"

"Nope."

"Oh," a disappointed look washed over her face. Noticing the sadness on Ashley's face,

"You can come in and wait for her though, she'll be back soon."

Ashley looked up at the man's handsomely aging face, her smile rolling in collectively, "Thanks Mr. C," stepping pass him and into the house.

"No problem, I need some help in the kitchen anyway, can you cook Ashley?"

The brunette laughed nervously, "Not my forte Mr. C, I'm on the receiving end when it comes to food." Ashley's honesty caused the man to burst out laughing, and her to blush in turn.

"That's ok, I just need an assistant either way."

Ashley licked her fingers and smiled, "I see where Spencer get's her talent."

Arthur looked around at Ashley from the sink, "Spencer's cooked for you?"

"Yea, I was having a bad morning last weekend."

"Was it any good?"

"Mr. C!" she beamed.

Walking over to the table her sat beside her, "I was only joking…she's picked up a few things over the years so I guess."

"Yea…"

A moment of silence hung, and then Arthur said, "So was it better than mine?"

Grinning Ashley spoke, "Never…yours hit the roof Mr. C,"

"Good," feeling accomplished he gave Ashley a playful nudge.

"She _was_ good though."

"The day student surpasses master will be something huh?" thinking his little girl was growing so fast.

"Yea, it will…" smiling faintly.

"Hey Ash, are you and Spencer ok?"

Letting out a sigh, not really sure how to answer the question she said, "I don't think so."

"What happened?" rubbing her shoulder consolably.

"She just doesn't accept my decisions, I can't make her understand. I told her we couldn't…" choosing her words carefully, "be friends because she deserves better than me, I'm a screw up Mr. C, I just don't…" and she broke off, remembering the pain, almost in a fit of tears.

Arthur contemplated for a while, and then he spoke, his voice soft and understanding, "You ever thought that there might be something that Spencer sees in you that you don't realize? I understand that you feel like you need to protect her from yourself, and that's good but it's also hurting you…which makes it more bad than good." Ashley leaned into his shoulder and started to cry, "As difficult as it might be, you need to trust her. I've known Spencer all her life and I've never known her to make a decision that's bad for her. If she's chosen to want you in her life, then it's for the best, you need to trust that."

"You make it so easy Mr. C."

"Maybe it _is_ that easy sweetie, and if it ever gets difficult you have a lot of support here to help you work through it," his voice calm and reassuring, it made Ashley feel loved, a feeling that had been evading her these past few years.

Looking up at Arthur, his eyes smiling, Ashley felt a lot of promise in his loving gaze, "Thanks."

"You can wait for Spencer in her room; I'll let her know you're up there when she gets in."

* * *

"Hey dad, we're back!" Spencer yelled from the living room. Walking into the kitchen and resting the groceries on the counter, "well at least I am, mom got a call from the hospital, she'll be home as soon as she can."

"Ok, so did you have fun shopping?"

"Dad, we went to get vegetables…what's fun about shopping for _vegetables_?"

"Hey, they make the best kinds of food," he said grinning "as do you…or so I'm being told."

A puzzled look on her face, "What are you talking about?"

"I hear you're quite the chef, at least that's what Ashley thinks."

"Ashley?"

"Yea, she's upstairs waiting for you."

"_You let her in?_ Dad, come on," seemingly annoyed, she hadn't wanted to face Ashley after the humiliation she had been through. Spencer still hadn't recovered.

"_What?_ She wanted to see you."

"Yea I bet," Spencer grumbled on under her breath.

"Just go talk to her," he said encouragingly.

Turning to go upstairs, Spencer turned back, a quizzical eyebrow arched, "Why is your shoulder wet?"

Arthur shrugged it off, "Water. Now _go_."

Spencer walked into her room to find Ashley had fallen asleep on her bed, watching her sleep it was hard for Spencer to remember that she was mad at Ashley. That feeling soon washed once the brunette stirred. Spencer was not going to let her resolve be broken. She would be sensible, and professional, Ashley was a waste of time. The brunette sat up slowly, lazily running her fingers through her hair, looking over at Spencer, her gaze calculating yet indecisive, Ashley wasn't sure what to say and Spencer's icy look wasn't making it any easier. The silence became prolonged and both girls stayed silent, staring at each other intently, each challenging the other to see who would break first. Ashley would inevitably be the defeated; she was the one with purpose, a motive for being in Spencer's space.

"Why haven't you been at school since Monday?" dragging herself to the edge of the bed, her feet dangling.

"Why do you care?" wanting to make the exchange anything but simple for Ashley.

"God Spencer, do we really have to do this?"

"I don't know Ashley, do we?" her tone challenging.

Not really wanting a repeat of the weekend, not wanting to hurt Spencer and have her resolve broken in the process Ashley got up and made her way to the door, openly speaking directing her words at Spencer but her body never indicating it, "I came to check if you were ok…you seem fine, so bye." Walking pass the blonde Ashley stopped at the door's opening, she made note of the faint scent of citrus; she would use this memory to inflame her senses whenever the reality of Spencer's pain decided to confront her.

"Leaving so soon Ashley?" Arthur called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yea Mr. C, got school in the morning," looking back to see that Spencer had moved from her position at the door, Ashley sighed and then kept walking down the stairs meeting Arthur in a loving embrace, he held her close, with promise.

"You take care ok?"

Giggling Ashley pulled back looking into his serene eyes, "I will Mr. C."

Arthur walked her to the door and saw her out, "See you around Ash!" he yelled at the car pulling away from the sidewalk. As Ashley drove, she thought of Arthur…his words were so comforting, his voice made it easy to forget her worries, sort of like Spencer's. She hadn't experienced that stability and that safety with her own father, but she understood; it wasn't Raife's fault, he had a job, and she understood; they were one in the same. Ashley just wished he would focus more on _them_ than he did his work. Spencer was lucky, _she_ _was lucky_, it was that conscious thought that made Ashley shudder, and it wasn't until she felt the wetness on her cheeks that she knew she was crying.

Spencer had witnessed the embrace shared between her father and Ashley and it made her insides turn from slight disappointment. In that moment Spencer realized where the 'water' in the crook of his arm had come from, it fit so perfectly in the way he and Ashley connected, she had been crying and Arthur of course, never being one to turn away anyone who was hurting was there consoling her. And so Spencer concluded that Ashley had been crying now all she had to do was find out why. Spencer stepped into the living room causing her father's eyes to wince from the game he was watching over to her. Arthur's eyes lit up at the sight of her, he was still bemused at the fact that his baby was growing up so fast.

"Hi honey, coming to watch the Braves conquer the Patriots?"

"Why was Ashley crying," a blatant dismissal of her father's attempt to make conversation.

Arthur knew this conversation would happen, Spencer was never one to let anything go, especially something that had meaning to her; he had remembered when she was only five.

_Spencer's cat Popeye had been missing and she swore Glen was the cause of it, Spencer wouldn't let up until she snuck out of the house a week after the cat had been gone, running two blocks to the Petersons and scaling their ladder to get a clear view of Glen in Travis' room pulling the crate from under Travis' bed letting Popeye out for a snack. Spencer had stayed steady atop the ladder for two hours waiting for Glen to get to Travis', she had run back to the house in tears, "Daddy, daddy, I found Popeye…he's at Travis' in a box under his bed!" the beads of tears had started to filter down her grass stained cheeks. She eventually got Arthur to walk with her the two blocks to find the boys in Travis' room doing tricks with the cat, after politely apologizing to Travis' parents for the uninformed, unplanned visit._

Arthur knew well enough to not keep anything from Spencer; he also knew that Ashley however eager she was to get back into Spencer's good graces would rather tell her on her own terms.

"She's just having a hard time Spence, she'll be fine."

"Yea but why—w," realizing that she was being too insistent on this she stopped herself, "Never mind, I don't even know why I'm asking." Making her way up the stairs Spencer looked back at Arthur, "Dad?"

"Yea honey?"

"If something were really wrong with Ashley you'd tell me right?"

Seeing the torment in his daughter's eyes, Arthur got up and walked over to her, putting his arms around her, his chin resting on her head, "She'll be ok Spencer, I promise…she's got you doesn't she?"

"She doesn't want me," Spencer breathed, the simple words reminiscent of the pain she felt stabbed at her chest as she breathed closer into her father's embrace desperately wanting the pain to go away.

"I think you should talk to Ashley, you'd be surprised," he gave a seasoned smile.

"I'm going to bed, it's early I know but I need to think."

"That's fine honey, I'll see you in the morning," with that he placed a soft reassuring kiss on her forehead, "I love you…remember that."

Spencer lay dazed in her room, trying to figure herself out. Excusing Ashley, and all the people in her life; she was different now, not just physically, or in the way the thought, but her identity, her sexuality. She was a lesbian. She didn't fight herself to say it; neither did she find it hard to. With that in perspective she wondered how it was going to affect her life, she thought of those who would easily accept her, those who wouldn't and those who would after finding out, pretend she was non existent or that they never knew her to begin with. Spencer grimaced, the world was a funny place, but that was expected, in a way she sort of knew her life wouldn't always be simple, hence the subconscious mental preparation she had been undergoing for the past few years, and she was ready, knowing that in itself made Spencer smile.

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

"I didn't know where else to go."

"I haven't heard that in a long while," scratching his head Aiden opened the car door and got into the passenger seat, then taking Ashley's hand in his own, soothingly rubbing his thumb over it, his free hand stroking the side of her cheek and feeling the wetness there, "What's wrong Ash?"

"I don't know Aiden," her chest slowly starting to rise and fall as her voice broke a little and the tears rimmed more prominently under her eyes.

"C'mon Ashley, don't be like this." He pulled her into him, holding her tightly, after a year he still felt the need to protect her, even after all that had happened, Ashley had never been far from his heart, loving her was something Aiden knew he would never stop doing, the way he loved her might have evolved, but it never went. After feeling her breathing regulate her lifted her chin so their gaze met, "You are _way_ too emotional you know that?" causing Ashley to smile, "Now tell me what's wrong."

"You know how the other day you told me Spencer cared about me?"

"Yea…"

"You were right…"

"Aren't I always," he grinned his boyish grin, Ashley playfully slapped his chest.

"Aiden I can't be what she wants me to be."

He sat up more intently now, causing their embrace to be broken, deliberating before he spoke, "You can't…or you won't?"

"I can't…"

"And exactly _who_ does she want you to be Ash, yourself?

"God Aiden! You know what I mean."

"I'm sorry but I don't"

"I told her the real me isn't a good person, that _that_ person would hurt her, and I didn't wanna do that."

"The _real_ you Ash? What's that about?

"Look at us Aiden, look what I did to us, until a week ago we never had one decent thing to say to each other, its been such a nasty experience these past few months, and I know it's my fault. _That_ person I wanna keep locked away, Spencer doesn't need to see that."

"Ashley…_you_ didn't do anything to us, the person you became after we broke up did. The person you became after hooking up with Simone did."

"I—I'm not…"

He took her hand in his again and placed it over her own heart, "_You_ are perfect, the _real_ you is perfect. That's the person I've been noticing this past week, the person you've been showing to Spencer, the one she cares about. Excluding the psycho who body slammed her," trying to get a smile out of her. "You need to let it go Ashley, Spencer's a big girl and she can take care of herself, unless…"

"What?"

"Are you sure this about Spencer and not you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you Ashley, afraid to let those you care about in, always finding every excuse in the book to keep your walls up. You're trying to protect yourself because you feel more than you should for Spencer don't you? You're afraid she's already chipping away at you piece by piece isn't she?" Aiden laughed when he saw Ashley face flush a high red.

"Aiden I can't do that…not again."

He held her close then knowing what she meant, "You won't have to, not with Spencer."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because look what she's doing to you already. The last time I saw you cry this much was…" and he trailed off, not wanting to rehash old wounds. "I just know…in a way Ash, you're her savior, I know she needs you." Referring to what Spencer had told him that day about her past.

Ashley looked up at him raising a questioning brow.

"You'll know when the time is right. Now let me drive you home, it's late."


	11. Chapter 11

**imaferrari: your last review made me realize, Ashley's character was really unstable, and then I thought to myself why is my writing starting to become a reflection of myself as a person...this isn't the place for this!**

**but hey, you're right I've sped up the process right, fast-forwarded a couple of weeks, about a month I think..as you requested, its a pretty short chapter but I hope you like it.**

**Criticism is ALWAYS welcome, Thank you!**

**xoxoxo**

* * *

For the next three weeks Spencer didn't see Ashley. In classes, she'd held her head straight, participated, and left as soon as the bell let out, there was no one to divert her attention. She wasn't sure if the brunette was ignoring or just avoiding confrontation. At lunch she sat with Aiden, Arianna and Chelsea, occasionally looking across the court to see if Ashley would be at _'their'_ table…she never was.

As the days went by, Spencer gradually grew to accept Ashley's absence, just as much as she grew to accept the ever overwhelming presence of Lindsey. It had been a week since Spencer had met the raven haired, green eyed girl at a culture expo at school; and every day for that week she had noted that the girl made it her point of duty to be standing by Spencer's locker with a pack of Twizzlers waiting to offer it. Spencer didn't mind the gesture, she enjoyed the candy, and truth was she enjoyed Lindsey's company as well as the mental stability that came with it. It was after spending nearly every day together that Spencer felt a slight emotional attachment to the girl, in their time together they had spoken of dreams and desires, shared a few past secrets and ended up kissing during a heated game of twister at Lindsey's house. It was no secret that Lindsey had a crush on her, Spencer knew…she just never expected herself to reciprocate those feelings, the girl had asked Spencer out on a date to which she gladly accepted, the physical attraction was there from the on set so it was no surprise that after three weekend dates and endless hours of seeing and talking to each other at school that Spencer accepted Lindsey's offer to become her girlfriend. For Spencer, it wasn't just an exploration of her sexuality but the entire portal of her current life.

With Spencer's openness, news of the couple spread like wildfire. It wasn't long before Ashley heard, people thought it best to tell her because they eventually found out that she was Spencer's first, even though they were never official news of their _moments_ seeped into the recesses of willing ears and sent word to the gossip core in their teenage wasteland. She shrugged it off when she first heard she didn't care to hear about Spencer with someone else.

"Hey Ash, what are you doing in here?"

"To be honest, I have _no_ idea…but I have my History final and Mr. Purdy's threatening to kill me if I fail." Ashley sifted through the references on the shelf trying to find the book that she needed.

The blonde girl giggled, "Where there's smoke, there's fire."

"_Shut up_ Sarah, I come here a lot, you just never see me that's all," she put up her playful smile.

"_Sure_ Davies…as long as you're here you might as well keep me company." Pulling an entire article on the Fifth Amendment Ashley sat across from Sarah, she'd known her since the sixth grade and funny enough, Sarah just always happened to be there when everyone one else zoned out. The thought of Sarah being her unknowing silent constant made her smile at the girl appreciatively.

"What?" raising a curious brow.

"Nothing," Ashley shook her head not wanting to jinx her recent discovery.

After a few minutes of studying Ashley's face contorted into a discomforting frown, her thoughts began to fleet from the book before her, this studying was becoming too much for her. "I can't do this anymore…_how do you do this Sarah_?" slamming the book shut, her question genuinely sincere.

"Take your time to soak it all in Ash," reaching across to rub the brunette's arm comforting her. "Here's what, lets talk. I've been hearing…_things_, and I think its best to clear the air hearing it from the horse's mouth."

"_Things_?" Ashley's face expressed a thousand unwanted feelings

"Yea. About you and a certain blonde who's currently dating the school's lead dancer."

"Who…you?" Ashley's desperate attempt at avoiding the question.

"Pssh, yea right, you're cute..but no thank you. I'm talking about Spencer silly."

"I know," the frown evident on her face, she wasn't in the mood "Alright, so what do you want to know."

Sarah knew it was inappropriate but she was just so excited, she squealed in delight, earning an amused look from Ashley, the interest people took in her personal life baffled her as if they had nothing better to do.

"So how did you two get together?"

"We never were together."

"So then, why…?"

"She liked me, we kissed…end of story."

"Oh," she frowned a bit causing her forehead to crease. It was obvious that Sarah was confused

"Not what you expected to hear huh?" peering over at the blonde intently.

"Then why'd she make you cry?"

Ashley was stunned, _how did? No…not even possible_. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's not what Aiden said," Sarah sounding victorious in a singsong voice, Ashley's panic evoking a sly smile from her lips. _I'm going to kill him_, the brunette gritted under her teeth then closing her eyes and taking deep breathes as she tried to centre herself.

"Way to blab about my life Dennison."

"It wasn't like that really. We wanted to know where you were and he just said you've been having a hard time and crying a lot 'cause you fought with Spencer…so we figured…"

"You ever think you guys 'figure' about my life a little too much?"

"Nope," she said curtly "We're preparing you for future paparazzi."

Ashley shook her head, letting out an exasperating sigh. Deciding after a moment that she wouldn't let her current paparazzi get into her business,

"It's nothing I care to share. And I _wasn't_ crying over her…that would be stupid, I haven't known her that long and we were never together, just a mutual attraction. _End_ of story." Ashley seethed the last sentence, her attempt at hinting that she didn't want to talk about Spencer anymore.

Avoiding Spencer would be less impossible because Ashley turned to see the blonde and her new girlfriend walking into the library, pinkies intertwined and giggling as they fell over each other's feet. She felt like she was about to throw up, with good reason too…seeing Lindsey acting cute disgusted her, there was no way that corpse was capable of affection. They had history. Ashley's gaze drifted over to Spencer, she was beaming, her smile radiant as she listened to whatever was being whispered into her ear. She looked content, happy, _good,_ Ashley looked away, thinking the only thing Spencer's encountered with her was an on again off again unstable need from someone who was obviously bipolar. _I could never make her smile like that_, Ashley's heart breaking a little at her own assumption.

Sarah looked across from her table and saw an unusual look in Ashley's eyes. It was a look that told of pain and discomfort, with her voice barely a whisper she spoke,

"Ashley, what's wrong?" there was not response "Ashley?" still nothing, the brunette was lost in a sea of thought. Sarah stretched forward and gently shook her arm, "Ashley."

She looked up then, her smile faint and her eyes tired, "Yea?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yea…I am… I will be."

"You just spaced on me a while ago you know."

"Sorry about that, I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"Nothing really, just…" she heard a burst of laughter and once again, her gaze slowly drifted over at Spencer to see the blonde with her head resting in the crook of Lindsey's neck dying of laughter. Her outburst followed by a loud "SHH!" from the other occupants of the library causing her face to flush. The last time Ashley had seen her cheek color so high was when she had come out of the bathroom half naked and Spencer couldn't bring herself to hold a steady gaze. A slight smile tugged at the brunette's lips as the memory played in her mind. The expression on Ashley's face didn't go unnoticed by Sarah, neither did the fact that it came just by looking over at Spencer.

"Nothing huh? _Nothing's_ pretty cute when she blushes if you ask me."

Ashley's head snapped around to Sarah's voice, "What are you talking about?"

"Cut the act Ash, I just caught you staring at Spencer and now you're smiling. Are you sure there was nothing besides '_mutual attraction'_?

"I'm sure. Look, we just shared one too many kisses and had one too many moments. There was a lot in those moments for her…and myself. I hurt her and I'm not proud of it, and I _don't_ wanna talk about it."

"Wow, I never expected… I'm sorry Ashley," with that she went silent.

"It's ok, Spencer's happy and I'm fine with that." Even if she was slightly disturbed about it, Ashley would never show it, in the three weeks she had been absent from school, she had learned that she needed to deal with the consequences of her actions whether good or bad. She knew it wasn't possible to turn back time, and she wouldn't want to, but she could move forward and make things better. She had a long way to go, and wondered if Spencer would be willing to do the same, her gaze drifting once again over to where the blonde sat.

###

"Miss Davies, good to have you back and early at that…keep it up," an appreciative smile came after an accepting nod from the teacher.

"It's good to be back Mrs. B, I couldn't stay away from you for too long."

"I see your humor didn't forget its place either. Sit down Ashley, you have a lot of catching up to do, I'm sure Miss Carlin will be happy to help you."

She sat across and looked at Spencer, her smile hesitant, "Hey."

"Hi," she continued to flip through her book never once looking over at Ashley. The brunette shrugged it off and opened her book, moving to the back and started writing. Spencer let out a nerving sigh and closed her book; she looked over at Ashley to see a disappointed look on her face.

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I deserve whatever it is you're dishing."

"No…it's just going to take some time for me to adjust to you being back."

"I can sit somewhere else; I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You're not, and you don't have to."

Ashley was still writing, "You're still doing that?"

"Yea, I've had a lot to say…it's the one thing that's remained constant for me."

Spencer smiled, "That's good." Thinking before she spoke, not wanting to be too forward, "Are you ever going to let me see what you've been writing, or better yet _hear_ it?"

"Who says I can sing," finally looking over at the blonde her eyes smiling.

"I heard you're not too bad."

"From?"

"No one in particular," only then realizing she should've never let the conversation get to this,

"Spencer…who?"

"Lindsey," her gaze dropping to the floor.

"Oh,"

"Yea."

Silence hung in the air.

"So how is that going? The two of you?" never thinking in a million years that she would be questioning anything having to do with Lindsey Mason.

"It's going…good," she whispered, slightly uneasy.

"You seem happy."

"Yea…" Spencer hadn't looked at her since she said Lindsey's name. Lowering her hand and lifting Spencer's chin with her index finger, their gaze met,

"Its ok, you don't have to look away. I'm happy for you."

They held each other's eyes for a moment, Spencer's aquatic blues had so many questions, as Ashley held her face her skin burned and tears brimmed her lids, but they would never fall. Ashley let her hand fall, "I'm sorry Spence," clearing her throat, "We'll talk about this later?"

The blonde only nodded her fear if she spoke, that her voice would give away more than it should.

They went through an entire session. No words exchanged unless it was Spencer asking if Ashley understood at various intervals in the lesson.

"So I'll see you at lunch?"

"Uh, no…Lindsey and I…" she wasn't allowed to finish.

"Right, I forgot…I should've,"

"No it's ok. I could come over after school."

"Yea?" her voice hopeful.

"Sure."

"Ok, I'm leaving now anyway, I have an appointment."

"Are you ok?"

"Yea, so I'll see you later?"

"Yea, you will."

"Awesome," hesitantly pulling the blonde into an awkward hug, "I'll see you then," and she was gone.

There was something about Ashley that seemed different, she was more considerate, she still apologized way too much though, only difference with that was she didn't do I after she did something wrong. Spencer smiled, turning to see Lindsey moving towards her.

"You and Davies friends again?" annoyance undeniably in her voice.

"Lindsey, hey."

"You're avoiding the question Spencer. Are you and Ashley Davies friends again?"

"I—I don't know," the truth was, she didn't know. Ashley had just come back and before she left, there was never a stamped label as to what they were. Lindsey stepped forward, cupping the sides of Spencer's face bringing them closer together then tilting her head to give her better access, Lindsey kissed her. It was timed, slow and endearing. She stepped back, looking into confused blue eyes,

"I'll see you at lunch."


	12. Chapter 12

Spencer knocked twice then walked into the house, she would never get over how exquisitely designed the foyer was. Even if Christine did have a bitchy attitude, she had excellent taste. Spencer walked into Ashley's room, she wasn't in there. She went over to the bathroom, still no sign of Ashley, she moved through the hallway to the kitchen to find the brunette at the table with her iPod plugged into her ears at full blast and a carton of ice-cream in front of her. Spencer stood for a while, admiring the childish smiles that came as Ashley shoved the spoon into her mouth. It was only three minutes after that Ashley looked up to find the blonde gazing at her, Ashley's smile brightened. Spencer walked over to the table and pulled out a chair beside Ashley "Hey you…"

"I'm glad you came. You been here long?"

"No actually, just got here."

"Ok, so how are you?"

"Good…I'm good. What about you, you seem…different."

"Is that good or bad?" raising a chocolate filled spoon to her mouth.

"It's whatever you make it Ashley."

"Yea, you're right. It is what I make it…" thinking for a second, "Spencer?"

"Ashley?" her tone cool, bracing herself for whatever it was Ashley was about to say. She would never get over how wildly excited she became with Ashley.

"I've missed you," she said simply.

The words became a stunning revelation for Spencer, her heart lurched, and then there was a slight tinge of pain.

"I've missed you too Ashley."

After a moment's silence, thumb fiddling and teeth pressing into pursed lips Ashley said,

"Friends?"

"S—sure," not exactly sure what her answer meant or even if she was being honest with herself. She wasn't sure if she could be just Ashley's 'friend', look where that got them the first time they tried. But things were supposed to be different now, she was with someone, and Ashley was getting better at being normal. She looked over to the brunette and smiled,

"I wouldn't have it any other way," secretly wishing she didn't reiterate Ashley's idea of them being friends.

"Good. Now tell me, how you've been…how's Arthur?"

Spencer giggled, "I've been good. Dad's been good too, he's been asking for you, you know"

"I should come pay him a visit then…this weekend?"

"Why not, it'd be good."

"Good," Ashley nodded in agreement. Then she figured she might as well get over what had been running her mad since the library,

"How are you and Lindsey…?" she said a bit hesitant.

"Ash, we don't have to talk about this."

"I want to…"

"Well I don't ok. It's bound to get uncomfortable."

"I think I can handle a few eye twitches, plus how are we going to be friends if we can't talk about your relationship?"

Ashley was becoming irritable; even if she did have good intensions her forwardness was becoming annoying. Spencer decided she would try to permit things; she didn't want to be discouraging. "Can we start being friends later Ash? Right now, Lindsey's not the best topic."

"Is she being a bitch…is she hurting you?"

"Ashley! God…I don't want to talk about it!"

"Sorry…"

"Look…we'll talk about that some other time, just not now."

"Ok, sorry Spencer…it's just—what do we talk about then?"

"How about we not talk at all? _That is way too much ice-cream_ and you can't eat it all by yourself."

"Oh is that so? Well then, it's obvious you don't know who Ashley Davies is." There was little truth in Ashley's statement. Spencer knew the type of person Ashley was so it wasn't necessarily hard to decipher her actions or the reasons for them. It was only a valid point because she hadn't been around the brunette long enough to know the know the qualities that were uniquely tied to her, Spencer wasn't sad, looking intently into deep brown eyes she smiled,

"I'd like to."

"Ok, we can share my ice-cream then," her laughter booming.

The two sat at the table for over an hour, two spoons in one bucket then by the time Spencer's spoon hit the bottom she pulled back the chair then rested her head on the table holding her stomach and rocking side to side.

"Spencer are you ok?" brushing the hair back out of the blonde's face.

She glanced up at Ashley, a lazy smile dragging across her face, "I've never had so much ice-cream at one time before. How do you do it?"

"Skills," her smile was sympathetic "C'mon let get you some Pepto."

"I can't move!" she groaned, "stay…here…" she closed her eyes and drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep.

Ashley sat staring, dying of laughter, Spencer just got wasted on chocolate ice-cream and that was ridiculous. She was passed out for about a half hour till she moved to find the kitchen in darkness and Ashley was nowhere in sight. She slowly got up and made her way through the halls only pausing slightly to rub her head and regain her footing, she'd been wobbling,

"Did I run into a brick wall or something, _gosh_."

"Nope, you got drunk off ice-cream and passed out in the kitchen," a familiar voice came from behind her.

She whirled around in the darkness and fell over herself, "And you left me there?"

Ashley couldn't help but laugh, "I tried to move you but you didn't want me touching you," then she began imitating the sounds Spencer was making in her conduced state.

The blonde was thankful that the lights were off so Ashley wouldn't see the bright red color flying up her cheeks.

When there was silence Ashley sat down beside her, "I'm sorry Spencer, I didn't mean to, it's just so weird that you'd become incoherent after eating ice-cream," biting her lip to control the laughter.

"It wasn't what I had, it was the amount…" embarrassment burning her voice.

"I know."

Spencer felt a familiar warmth as Ashley pulled her closer, resting the blonde's head on her shoulder and stroking her hair. Spencer took a sharp intake and sighed into the brunette's neck. They stayed like that for a while before Ashley interrupted the silence much to Spencer's disappointment.

"Ready for me to take you home?"

"You don't have to, I borrowed the car."

"Nice. Are you sure you're ok to drive?"

Spencer motioned to get up, "I'll be fine. I just need some water."

"Ok, I'll get you some then." Ashley moved through the hallway and flipped the kitchen switch illuminating the room and burning her dark adjusted eyes. She handed a glass to Spencer and watched as she slowly drank the water.

"Sure you can manage?"

"I will."

Ashley turned back to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water, throwing it over to Spencer, "One for the road," she smiled at her.

"Thank you,"

"Come, I'll walk you out."

"I'll see you later."

"Get some rest."

"I will," and she planted a kiss on the brunette's temple, "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For taking care of me," and she was gone. Ashley stood and watched as she drove off, silently praying for her to get home safe.

###

"Hey there kiddo!" the overly excited man said turning from the grill to face Ashley, she ran up to meet him, giving him a huge hug,

"Hey Mr. C"

"Whoa, what was that for?"

"What…my best hug? Well that was for the best person I know. I missed you."

"Wow, you really know how to make a guy blush…but I get it. How've you been?"

"I've been good. I was in Little Rock for a while, with some cousins and people like you; counselors I mean…they were good, but you're still the best."

"Oh, I see," he let out a laugh "so you feeling better now?"

"Yea, I think so."

"Good. Hey, Spencer's upstairs tell her to get her butt down here, most of her friends are here already and she's _still_ hiding."

"No problem Mr. C be back in a sec."

"Spencer…you in here?" pushing the half open door to see Spencer face down crying on the bed.

"Hey you, what's the matter?"

"Hey Ash," wiping her eyes and resting her head on the brunette's lap who was now sitting next to her. On impulse Ashley began stroking Spencer's hair back in an attempt to comfort her.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh it's nothing really…"

"_Nothing_ has you crying?"

"Yea well…if I tell you, you'll laugh."

Her smile was reassuring, "Try me."

"Bubbles died…" and the tears started to make their way down her cheeks again.

"Wh—Spence, who's Bubbles?"

"The hamster I found behind the gym a few weeks ago, she was stuck to a branch by some thread and I freed her and took her home, she looked hungry so I decided to keep her…take care of her." She buried her face in the brunette's lap as the tears came harder, so hard it made her head hurt. Ashley lowered her head and kissed her hair, all the while running her free hand up and down the blonde's back trying to calm her.

"It's going to be ok Spencer, I promise."

"I know but…she's really been my only company, I don't tell anyone the things I told her. All she ever did was listen, and the way she'd roll her cage…it's like she understood."

Ashley felt a tinge of pain at the blonde's words; she wished that she'd have been there when Spencer needed to talk to somebody that she didn't have to find solace in a pet.

"If it's ok," she bit her lip "you can tell me what you used to tell Bubbles…I promise I'll listen."

Spencer only nodded her response.

"If you're feeling up to it…we can go downstairs, your dad says all your friends are waiting on you."

"I haven't buried her yet," pointing to the shoe box in the corner next to the hamster ball. A silent "Oh," was all that left Ashley's lips. "Well uuh, lets go then," uncertainty evident in her voice as she asked, "Where will you take her?"

"Behind the gym."

"Ok, want me to drive you there?"

"Will you?"

"Let's go," her smile reassuring as she sat the blonde up and wiped the stale tears from her cheeks.

As they drove to King High, Spencer held the shoe box in her lap. Ashley looked over at her, eyes saddened as she saw tears brimming Spencer's lids.

"It's going to be ok." At the strength and love in the sound of her voice Spencer moved her hand, finding its way to Ashley where it stayed clasped and intertwined.

They buried Bubbles under the tree that Spencer had found her hanging from, Ashley said a few words and even sang. There was so much innocence in that moment, it made her heart swell, she was getting better this 'friends' thing, she was getting better at being there for Spencer.

###

The next couple of weeks Ashley and Spencer literally lived on the phone. Except for English class they rarely saw much of each other at school because Spencer was with Lindsey and she thought it best for them not to be around each other. Their pillow talk at best saw Ashley getting back into Spencer's good graces, for four nights straight, at the end of each conversation Spencer had told Ashley that she looked forward to the next night, and that made Ashley hopeful.

"There's this party at Grey's tomorrow, my friend Taylor's playing an entire set and she wanted me to come. Will you go with me?"

"Ashley…I—I,"

"Before you say anything, it's not a date. Just friends hanging out."

"I still don't…"

"_Please Spencer_?"

"Oh ok," an exasperated sigh released itself after the last word.

"Great, I'll pick you up around eight."

"Yea well, I gotta go to bed now. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Ashley."

"Goodnight Spencer."

"Hey Taylor that was great just now," Ashley yelled over the music.

"Yea, you should come back me up on guitar for the next set."

"Seriously?"

"Sure thing baby doll."

Ashley couldn't contain her excitement.

"This is my friend Spencer,"

"She's gorgeous. How do you stand being just friends?" Taylor was never shy about letting a woman now when she was beautiful. Her comment caused Spencer to cough on her drink and a familiar heat to rush up Ashley's cheeks.

"Hey Taylor, nice to meet you." Spencer held out her arm and Taylor drew her in whispering in her ear, "The pleasure's all mine baby doll," nipping at Spencer's lobe.

"Ease off Taylor, she's taken!" pulling Spencer from her friend's grasp.

"But I thought you said…"

"There _are_ other women in the world you know…"

"Right now I'm only seeing one," eyeing Spencer as she spoke.

"I think it's time for your next set." Ashley's attempt at diverting the conversation.

"Are you coming to join me?"

"I don't have my guitar…"

"Don't be queer Ash, you can use Max's"

"Oh ok," turning to Spencer as she took the guitar, "you gonna be ok?"

"Yea, go…I've been dying to see you play."

The two stood grinning at each other.

"C'mon Davies, we got a show to do, and I'll see _you_ later," pointing at Spencer before hitting the stage.

The last strum of the G-chord had the indie crowd going crazy and raising applauses for Taylor's Band and Ashley.

"You never told me you could play like that."

"You never asked," her smile made her nose crinkle.

"True, but in all fairness you could have told me."

"What, and ruin the mystique? Don't think so Spence."

"Dance with me Ashley," pulling her unto the floor as some dubstep remix started blaring from the speakers.

"Spence you know I can't…"

"I'll teach you," she whispered in her ear, pulling Ashley to her, manipulating her movements.

Spencer snaked her arms around Ashley, moving behind her and pressing the brunettes back into her torso she rocked them from side to side. It only took a minute for Ashley to get comfortable, her hands held Spencer close as the blonde ground herself against Ashley. The brunette let out a low moan, her mind racing…retracing its steps to the last time she and Spencer danced, her memory made her all the more willing to continue the movements. She whirled to face the blonde and held her arms tightly, pressing herself into Spencer and rocking their bodies to the melody infused lyrics. The beat upped its tempo and the movements became wildly un choreographed but so in sync that it made onlookers go wild. Beads of perspiration were now evident as Spencer's body was tightly wound with Ashley's. The brunette's scent inflamed her senses, she leaned in and kissed Ashley's neck, licking a path up to the brunette's ear that made her body tingle. Spencer stopped herself, breathing heavily as the music stopped, Ashley held her still, resting their foreheads together as their breathing regulated.

"That was fun," raising her head Ashley was surprised to see Spencer's eyes a darker shade of blue that told a tale of lust and hunger.

"You ready to leave Spencer?"

"Yes," her voice hoarse with need.

Looking over to the bar Ashley signaled to Taylor and the rest that she and Spencer were leaving. Standing in the parking lot as Ashley fumbled with her car keys Spencer held her wrist, "Wait…"

"Spencer, we can't."

Pressing a finger against Ashley's lips, "Ashley, just…please" as she closed the gap between them whispering another plea against the brunette's lips just before claiming them. She kissed Ashley with a forceful torrent of desire, licking her bottom lip and tracing the outline of her mouth before darting her tongue back into the recesses of her desire. Ashley was unresponsive but her body shook when Spencer bit her lip, causing a slight swelling then sucking on it to ease the torture. The brunette reluctantly pushed Spencer away, "Let me take you home."

"But I need you Ashley."

"No Spencer, not tonight. Please understand."

Spencer's eyes filled with tears, "Why can't you just love me damn it!"

Ashley's mouth opened in amazement, as real as Spencer's words were she couldn't believe it.

"Is it _always_ going to be like this Ashley? Me throwing myself at you and getting rejected?"

"Spence…it's not," she was cut off by Spencer's scoff

"Lindsey was right about you…" and she started walking with Ashley running after her, catching up to her she grabbed her arm, "Spencer, please just stop it. It's not…"

"Not what Ashley?" her voice raising an emotional octave, "Why can't you ever say what you feel? You don't want me, yet you keep stringing me along, why did you ever come back!"

"I'm not stringing you! I'm being your friend!"

" 'cause that's all I'm good for right? Fuck you Ashley Davies…I'm done wanting somebody who doesn't want me back."

Ashley was fed up with Spencer's accusations. Spencer was all Ashley ever dreamt about. She was the reason Ashley went to Little Rock in the first place, to get better for her. But tonight was not the night, the music was Spencer's aphrodisiac, and as much as she loved dancing with the girl, she wouldn't take her home and bed her right after, not unless she was hers which she wasn't. Spencer belonged to someone else, and as much as she hated Lindsey and would wallow in the thought of being chosen over her _again_ she loved herself more, and was not about to hurt her pride. It's one thing to mess around with someone you have no interest in and will possibly never see after one night, but it's a hell of a thing when the person you mess around with is all you live and breathe, especially when that person belongs to someone else.

Ashley held the sides of Spencer's face, looking into her eyes before kissing her, questioning, she lowered her head and kissed her slowly, with intent, every sweep of her tongue over the blonde's infused with nothing less than love. Then it became hard, intense and hungry, nipping and nibbling, sucking and grazing along the outskirts of Spencer's mouth before her tongue found its way back inside, causing a guttural moan to escape the blonde. Then she kissed her lovingly before stepping back to look into pained blue eyes.

"Does that feel like someone who doesn't want you?" Then she hugged her, holding her so closely as she felt the blonde's body shudder at the contact before her tears started to fall.


	13. Chapter 13

"Pass me the ketchup please baby," she had downed half the ketchup and gone through half the fries before saying anything again. "Why aren't you talking? Are you ok?"

"No reason," the blonde let out a tired sigh. Her eyes were watery and her color pale, if the girl sitting in front of her was paying attention and seeing the bags under her eyes she wouldn't have asked her if she was ok.

"Whoa Spencer, you don't look so good," Nicole reached across to feel her forehead; the blonde's temperature was way above normal. "And you're burning up, Jesus!"

Lindsey looked across at Spencer, "You're right, she doesn't look so hot at all. Baby, want me to take you home?"

"No," she said her mind drifting, her thoughts becoming frazzled as the place felt hotter and she loomed in and out of her current reality, there was a distant fog and she felt pain stab at her from every angle, her entire body was becoming livid and she couldn't move.

"I need Ashley," resting her head on her arm.

"W—what did she just say?" looking over at her friend.

"I think she just said she needed Ashley," there was delicious smile playing across Nicole's lips. The kind that made Lindsey knew she had it coming. Infuriated with rage and anger she moved from her seat and went around to Spencer's side, "You bitch!"

Spencer was too weak to move and she hardly heard anything Lindsey said. She managed to catch words like _whore; slut_, just all the comebacks an enraged partner would use really then she heard Ashley's name and her lips turned up. Her hand went up and folded in a ball to turn back down into the blonde's exposed jaw but was stopped midway by a strong male hand.

"Touch her, and I'll make sure you never walk through these halls again."

"Mr. Ramirez. I—I was…"

"What Lindsey, taking her to the nurse? How thoughtful."

He looked over at Nicole, his eyes softening, "Get her to the nurse, and call her parents, this looks like it might be serious."

"Yes sir." Nicole fought to get Spencer to the nurse; she had to get Aiden to carry her.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know, she's just looked really tired all morning and just now she had a spiking fever."

"Did you call her mom?"

"No, I was just going to see if I could find Ashley,"

Aiden's expression was curious, "Why?"

"She said she needed to see her, so…"

"Don't worry about it, Ashley's in the music room,"

Spencer had been sleeping for a full two hours. When she woke up her head felt like it had been split by a block. The pained was agonizing and made her groan, causing her visitor's head to turn in her direction.

"Hey there pretty girl."

Ashley hadn't seen or spoken to Spencer since the night at Grey's, but there was no hint of awkwardness in their exchange.

"Hey,"

"How are you feeling?"

"That's just it, besides this splitting aneurism I can't feel anything."

"When you get out a here I'll take you to get an In-and-Out burger, that's bound to put back some feeling in your body."

Spencer couldn't help but smile, "Come here,"

And Ashley knelt by her bed taking Spencer's hand as the blonde had wished, rubbing the top of it with her palm.

"I here you got Lindsey suspended,"

Spencer turned her head to the other side, not wanting to look at Ashley.

"It's ok Spence, I'm not going to talk about it…" after a moment's deliberation she spoke again, "I also heard you asked for me, want to tell me what that was about?"

"Nothing…"

"Spencer, please don't do this, you're not feeling well and I'm not going to fight you, I'm tired of fighting now."

Turning her head back into the brunette's view she said simply, "I wanted to apologize…"

"It's ok, there's no need to."

"Yes there is, you've been trying so hard, and being great and I…"

"You didn't do anything Spence. Can I ask you something?"

The blonde nodded in response,

"That night, you asked why I couldn't just love you…Spencer,"

"No Ashley, let's not do this."

"If not now then when Spencer? We can't keep avoiding the issue."

"I know but I don't want me being sick to be the reason you…the reason you say or do something you might regret."

"Spencer stop, just here me out. When I first met you, I didn't like you…at all. I didn't like the fact that you kept staring at me, and I hated even more the fact that when I stared back my anger would fade. Things spiraled with us pretty quickly, and as hard as it's been I don't regret a second of it. When you took care of me merely because you wanted to, it frustrated me. I got scared because I didn't want you turning into my parents or Simone, that's why I said it would've been best to just stay friends. When I left, there were some things that I had to deal with; my personal pain and what I was starting to feel for you. I didn't want you to have to encounter a side of me that was so lost to hate, that it forgot when someone was being genuine, you deserve better than that." She squeezed the blonde's hand tighter, "_I went there for you, and I came back for you_. When I came back, you were with Lindsey, _that_…I didn't plan for, but I had to accept it. I've been trying _really_ hard to just be around you, and be 'friends'."

"Ashley…"

"No, it's fine. Spencer, you're my reason for wanting to be better at life, because I want to make you happy. You being sick right now doesn't change what I would've said. _I love you_ and I'll still feel the same when you get better." She rested her head against Spencer's shoulder and the silence dawned on her.

"Ashley…"

"Yea Spencer?"

She bit her lips as she sighed, her attempt at holding back the tears that were fast approaching. Spencer had cried so much in the last two and a half months she never knew she had so many tears. At least this time she wouldn't be storming out after they'd fallen or be alone in silence to let them flow harder,

"I love you too."

And there it was the reason for her pained nights and erratic behavior. The reason she would only feel comfortable with Ashley and no one else.

"I know."

As she held the blonde's gaze Ashley's face suddenly lit up.

"Come with me to Grey's on Friday night."

"Why? What's happening there?"

"Just a couple bands playing a few set, Taylor will be there," as if that manifestation would have made Spencer all the more eager to attend.

"Ash…"

"Just say yes,"

"What if I'm still sick?"

"It's Tuesday Spence, your mom says you just need to rest, you're tired and apparently someone hasn't been eating."

She looked away.

"Why is that Spencer?"

"I'll tell you…soon."

"I'm banking on it. Either way, you'll be good for Friday so _please_ say you'll come."

"Ok, I will."

Ashley squealed in delight, "Awesome." Kissing Spencer's forehead she got up, "I'll call you later, you won't see me till then though, I have a few things I need to take care of, but I will call you."

"Leaving me to suffer and wallow in self pity _already_?"

"You need your rest Spence…"

"I know. I'll see you later."

###

Spencer was running through the house frantically. Ashley was going to be there soon and she couldn't find her lip gloss, not to mention she wasn't even dressed yet.

"Spencer put some clothes on!" Glen yelled from the couch as his little sister ran pass him in some wife beaters and underwear.

"Shut up Glen! Mom! Have you seen my lip gloss?"

"It's in my purse sweetie," Paula shouted from the kitchen.

Spencer ran upstairs and flew into her parents room, "Dad, where's mom's purse?"

"It's over there by the night stand. Where you in a rush to?"

"Ashley and I are going out, and I'm late."

"Oh, I see…just you and Ashley?"

"Yes dad, just me and Ashley," she turned to look at him his face was a bit sad. "Oh dear, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you. I've been so stressed lately."

"It's ok Spencer, I get it…you're growing up."

"Yea but I'll always tell you stuff, no matter how old I get."

He smiled, "That's reassuring. Have fun tonight, call if you need anything.

"I will."

Paula walked in to see Spencer adding the final touches to her make up.

"Oh honey…you look so beautiful,"

"Thanks mom."

Spencer was wearing a simple black dress, spaghetti strapped and the Dior stilettos her grandmother had bought her when she turned seventeen.

"So where are you going?"

"Grey's…with Ashley."

"Oh, that's nice. I've been meaning to talk to you about Ashley, but I don't wanna ruin your night so we'll discuss it some other time."

"Thanks mom."

The doorbell ran and Spencer sprinted to answer it. It was amazing how she moved so fast in those heels without falling over. Paula thought she could take a few pointers.

Spencer opened the door and was greeted with a smile that would give Julia Roberts a run for her money.

"Hi,"

"Hey, you ready?"

"Yes."

"Let's go then," taking Spencer's arm in hers.

"Bye mom, bye dad!" then she looked over to the couch, "_Glen_" and they were gone.

"You look beautiful tonight by the way."

"So do you," and she was being honest, Ashley was stunning.

They drove for a while till Ashley pulled into an unfamiliar place.

"I thought you said we were going to Grey's"

"We are, but I wanted to make tonight special, so here we are the first stop of the night 'Gatos'"

They walked inside and Spencer's eyes widened, the room was dark the only illumination were twenty two candles placed around the table and over to the fireplace where they would be sitting.

They sat down and the waiter came with the menus.

"Ashley…"

"What?"

"You didn't have to do this,"

"Yes I did…" reaching across the table she held Spencer's hand "_This_…is totally necessary."

They had filet mignon and French wine dated back all the way to 1922, courtesy of the winery Raife had invested in when Ashley was a child.

In the car Ashley took a bag from the back seat,

"Get changed."

"What?"

She opened the bag, some jeans and a simple black v-neck t-shirt.

"What's this for Ashley…?"

"Well, you look too hot to be going into Grey's right now and I don't wanna have to beat anybody up for looking at you too hard. I got mine too, don't worry." Her smile was reassuring.

They waked into Grey's hand in hand, as she stepped inside, Spencer was swept away by Taylor who play danced her unto the floor, "I wanna dance with you tonight."

"If you're lucky then who knows,"

"Lay off Taylor…I told you,"

"I know I know, she's taken."

"That's right," she held Spencer's gaze…deep brown eyes saying sorry.

"It's ok," and Spencer hugged her.

"So you gonna help me run another set tonight Ash?"

"Sure, why not…I've been thinking about doing something of my own tonight too" the brunette's statement had Spencer raising a questioning brow.

"Is there something you're not telling me Ashley?"

"Nope,"

"Ok Davies. We're back again, let's go."

She kissed Spencer's cheek, "Be back soon. Oh, and sit here."

Taylor must've been pretty happy tonight, they played out about three originals and then remixed a couple Coheed and Cambria songs as well as Rob Thomas' 'Lonely No More' talk about strange. But they were good none the less.

"Ok guys, my friend Ashley here's going to be doing a rendition of uuh," turning to Ashley, "what are you singing again?"

Ashley laughed and took the mic, "Goodnight everybody. I had planned to do an original, just like I used to for you guys…"

'_Used to'_? Spencer was baffled now.

"But uuh, it's not done yet, plus I heard this song the other day and it made me think of someone very special. She's never heard me sing before so…and yea, the first time she heard me play she was so turned on we got into a hot and heavy _almost_ make out session on the dance floor, so I'm hoping I'll be a little luckier tonight." The crowd laughed.

Ashley strummed C…

_I've been staring at the sky tonight_

_Marvelling and passing time_

_Wondering what to do with daylight_

_Until I can make you mine_

_You are the one I want, you are the one I want…_

_I've been thinking of changing my mind_

_It never stays the same for long_

_But of all the things I know for sure_

_You're the only certain one_

_You are the one I want, you are the one I want…_

_I've been counting up all my wrongs_

_One sorry for each star_

_See I'd apologize my way to you_

_If the heavens stretched that far_

_You are the one I want, you are the one I want…._

_I won't find what I am looking for_

_If I only "see" by keeping score_

_'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic…_

_Cos if I add, if I subtract_

_If I give it all, try to take some back_

_I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact_

_That you are the sum_

_So you are the one_

_I want…_

_When the years are showing on my face_

_And my strongest days are gone_

_When my heart and flesh depart this place_

_From a life that sung your song…_

_You'll still be the one I want_

_You'll still be the one I want_

_You'll still be the one I want_

_You'll still be the one I want …_

Ashley set the guitar down and looked over to the blonde whose eyes were filled with tears.

"I love you Spencer,"

In that moment there was no one else in the room, just them. Ashley wiped the tears away with her thumb, "I don't want you crying anymore."

"Not even happy tears?" Spencer said laughing

"Hmnh, maybe…ok yea, but not for the rest of the night."

"If you keep being so sweet I don't know how I'll be able to control it."

"Try…" Ashley whispered before taking Spencer's earlobe between her teeth.

Spencer gripped Ashley's arms, an ache between her legs awakening, but she waited.

"Let's get out of here; we got stone skipping to do!"

"Stone skipping?"

"Yes…me, you, the beach…stone skipping."

"You're crazy…"

"Only for you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys...uuuh i know this chapter is NOT At ALL what you were expecting, me either to be honest but uuh tragedy has struck. A friend of mine passed away, AND THEN! I fell out of a bus (it was funny when it happened) but then when I black and blued my already dark skin and fractured my wrist, I knew it wasn't so funny, so I can't write for long periods right now, but I figured, I'll give you what I have.**

**imaferrari: my inspiration, the reason I'm so moved to write, I hope you like this, and I PROMISE! I'll make my come back good ;)**

**noodles307, sayiloveyouwhenyournotlitenin : you guys are great! thank you sooo much.**

**so this is an EXTREMELY SHORT CHAPTER, enjoy what there is**

* * *

"I still can't believe you did that."

"Did what?"

"You _sang_ for me," Spencer's eyes lit up as the words escaped her lips.

Ashley could only smile, she was getting it right and things finally made sense. She threw her last pebble into the ocean and turned to face Spencer whose eyes were a darker shade of blue, the moonlight hit her skin and gave it a milky glow. Ashley stepped in closer to her, the space between them barely enough for air to pass through. The heat that radiated off of Spencer's skin made them hot all over, it was like the night air around them only served to spike the heat. Ashley rested her head on the blonde's shoulder and breathed in, her hands drifting down finding comfort on Spencer's hips. Spencer's hands reached down and held them there, then resting her head into the crook of Ashley's neck, "_you're beautiful_" the words vibrated off the brunette's skin making her shudder.

"You don't know what you're doing to me right now."

"Tell me," looking into dark eyes, melting away as the seconds drew out.

"I'd rather show—", her breath was caught when Spencer silenced her with a kiss.

Her heart raced as her mouth drifted across soft lips, she left wet kisses across a smooth jaw line causing small moans to escape a captivating mouth, and she deepened the kiss hot and earnestly muffling the arousing noises with her mouth. She trailed her hands up arms that caused goose bumps to rise and her own body burned in recognition of the warm hands that were now running across the skin under her shirt.

Spencer's movements were halted when she felt lips trailing down her neck; a warm tongue slipping out and tasting her skin. She held on to Ashley firmly then, her legs unable to support her, week from pleasure and undeniable excitement. When Ashley felt Spencer stiffen she looked up at her, "Are you ok?" Spencer only nodded, unable to speak, her face flushed from the intensity of their kiss. And Ashley's lips claimed hers then, their movements unrushed as the brunette's hands held her face. Then stopping briefly to skim her nose along Spencer's cheek inhaling the blonde's soft scent Ashley whispered,

"I'm scared to lose you."

Spencer's heart broke a little at the earnest and innocent tone in Ashley's voice,

"I'm not going anywhere…promise not to hurt me?"

"_Never_," and she kissed the blonde then, the tears slowly falling. Ashley _needed_ this constant, this safety and protection that Spencer had to offer. When Ashley had turned ten, her dad had said to her, _don't ever let love slip…it may drive you crazy and feel like you want to through the walls, but at the end of the day it's the one thing that keeps you going_.

"I'm not going to let you slip Spencer."

"Huh?" Spencer asked confused in the shadowy after glow of their tender moment.

"I love you Spence…and it's not just now. I don't know if you feel rushed, or feel like _this_ is rushed but I know what I feel, what I wanna keep feeling…for as long as you let me."

The blonde gazed into Ashley's eyes as she said this, then she smiled,

"_I loved you first_…no rush," the brunette was left aghast at the realization of truth looming over Spencer's words, she was right…she had loved Ashley first.

"Thank you."

They sat together under a hooded rock, their feet buried in the white sand, the moonlight hitting them both, casting an inseparable shadow on the wall behind them and after a moment, their lips fused, joining their bodies they imitated the shadows behind them


	15. Chapter 15

Fracture is going...going...almost gone

**thank you noodles307 for the get well wishes.**

**I've been reading other fics and realized I've never ever put up a disclaimer but I don't see the need to I 'mean, pssh if I owned SoN...[silence and crickets chirping] END of Story...**

**R&R guys, I hoped you liked this one and I'll make good at posting sooner, this story still has a long way to go, but thank you all so much for your support.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Heartbreak and Knowing**

Looking up from her paper, an eyebrow raised quizzically and her reading glasses tilted as she heard the front door creak open. There was silence for about three added minutes, followed by a faint sigh sounding as though the culprit was relieved no one was awake. An empathetic smile tugged at her lips when she eyed her daughter sneaking upstairs, shoes in hand being extremely careful not to make a sound. Paula took another sip of her coffee then cleared her throat, making her presence known. A hesitant Spencer slowly turned around, her heart pounding sending a rush of blood to her head that made her woozy.

"_Hey mom, how's it going?_" her voice sounding like she was high.

"Hi honey, did you have fun last night with Ashley?"

"Ashley…uuh, yea, yes. I did."

"And just exactly _why_ didn't you come home again?"

"I…well, you see mom—" not exactly sure what else to say

"Mmm…?"

"We were at the beach and we fell asleep…" Spencer brought her free hand up to scratch the back of her neck. Her head hung low when she saw her mother's color flushed turning her cheeks a bright red.

"Spencer Marie Carlin!"

She knew she was in for it now; her mother never used her full name otherwise. Spencer jumped quickly in attempts to save herself, "Mom before—" she didn't get the chance to.

"You slept on the beach? Are you crazy!" Paula moved from her chair and started circling the young blonde, lifting her arms for bruises and scratches or any form of irritated skin. When she was satisfied that she didn't find anything she stood in front of her daughter. "Honey what were you thinking?" her tone softer now.

"Mom I'm fine…I'm alive."

"I can see that, you're standing in front of me, but what if you'd been robbed, harassed…or worse?" her voice fuming with anger.

Spencer bit down hard, chewing on her bottom lip. She needed to find some way to get her mother out of the spas zone. "Mom, I was safe…I was with Ashley."

"That is _not_ a good enough excuse Spencer, Ashley can barely protect herself!"

Spencer looked away. Ashley did pack a good punch, that was one of the first things she learned about the brunette. Even though Paula might have made a valid point Spencer would never accept it. There was an aura about the brunette that completely relinquished all the danger and the bad around Spencer when they were together. Ashley's eyes held an unspoken promise that made the blonde feel safe, protected, and she knew- Spencer knew Ashley would protect her.

Then finally acknowledging her mother she sighed, "I'm sorry mom."

"Sorry won't let you off the hook that easy."

"I'm _grounded_?" Spencer groaned, an instant headache approaching from the 'g' word falling from her lips.

"No…but Ashley is invited to dinner tomorrow night."

"Huh? Mo—"

"I'm serious Spencer, I won't eat the poor girl I simply want to have a talk with her. Now go upstairs and get some rest. It's Saturday." Pulling her daughter into a hug Paula kissed her temple. "I love you honey."

Spencer was too dazed and confused to respond, she just turned around and continued her way up the stairs, _her mom invited Ashley to Sunday dinner…to meet her…AFTER she spent the night out?_ An uneasy feeling curled in the blonde's stomach but she wouldn't let it get to her, she was in serious need of a warm bath and some good sleep.

Spencer stepped out of the shower, her wet hair towel wrapped and her body damp. As she sat on the edge of the bed applying moisture to her arms and legs her phone vibrated off the dresser and fell to the carpeted floor, _stranger things have happened_.

**I just thought u should know…I can't stop thinking about you.**

The blonde smirked and put the phone back down. All the while smiling as she finished applying the moisture and got dressed for bed. As she lay there on her side, one arm under her pillow bunching it up under her head Spencer sighed. As comfortable as the bed was it held no comparison the comfort and warmth she felt lying in Ashley's arms hours before. Spencer remembered at one point her left leg had gone dead and she needed to turn and give it some air but she refused to move, she didn't want to interrupt the perfection of her moment with Ashley, seeing the peace on Ashley face as she slept with the brunette's arms wrapped around her was worth the dead leg. Spencer drew for her cell, deciding to respond to the text:

**Ditto. I miss being in your arms, in fact, I wish I had them around me right now. **

Then she closed her eyes and drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

Ashley's eyes saddened when twenty minutes had passed and her phone hadn't made a sound that indicated a response to her text. She needed to stop being so paranoid but gosh, she missed the girl. She missed breathing in her scent, making her smile and those eyes; that perfect shade of blue that made her body quiver at the slightest glance. Ashley let out an exasperated sigh and fell back on the bed, her left arm slumped over her eyes shielding it from the light. She stayed like that for a moment then her phone rang, she flew up so fast she stubbed her toe on the guitar that was perched at the bottom of the bed. Ashley hopped over to where the phone was profanities spitting internally. _Caller ID was blocked?_

'Hello…'

'_Hello sweetheart, how's my favorite granddaughter doing?'_

'I'm ok, and I'm your _only_ granddaughter grandma', Ashley rolled in a fit of giggles on the floor, her grandmother always made her laugh for the strangest reasons.

_Oh I know, but that doesn't mean you can't be my favorite_.

'That's true. So what's up though?'

'_I've been trying to get to you for ages. Your mother tells me you're never home so she gave me your cell number_.'

Ashley frowned, a bit disappointed in herself. 'Sorry grams'

'_Pish posh darling, think nothing of it. I'm coming to visit in two weeks and I wanted to get something for you. You're all of seventeen now and I very well can't buy you dolls anymore.'_

'You really don't have to grandma…just seeing you is the best.'

'_Nonsense Ashley, and I insist. So tell me, what do you like_.'

'Oh I don't know. I'm still working on my music, so anything musical I guess.'

Her grandmother let out a shriek of laughter _'Wonderful. I'll get to it. Let your mother know I finally got you. I love you sweetheart, be good.'_

'I love you too grandma, I will…" she hung the phone up and ran her fingers through her hair.

Ashley loved her grandmother dearly, the woman was so much more than that to her. She was her mother, her sister and ultimately her best friend. When Ashley came out her grandmother was behind her one hundred percent, her mother accepted it yes but for the most part Ashley felt it was because she never really minded much to let it affect her. Her grandmother's support almost made the fact that close friends disappearing not matter to the brunette.

_It takes rocky ground to root out the truth in people. Fear of a situation is understandable, but to leave you in your hour of need is unacceptable. _

And Iliad Rose Emerson II was right…she was always right. It was that stepping stone in Ashley's life that strengthened the bond between the two.

After a few more minutes finishing up her piece Ashley showered and fell into bed, she buried her face in her pillow and sighed, she would sleep off the fatigue. Drifting off was soon halted when her phone vibrated.

**Ditto. I miss being in your arms, in fact, I wish I had them around me right now.**

Her heart lurched, she was happy. Incandescently and inexplicably happy.

_I miss being in your arms too Spence_.

/

"Score! Beat that bitch," Glen sank into the couch and rested his foot on the coffee table.

"I swear dude, you're cheating."

"Ha, cheating my ass. You're just jealous 'cause I kick your ass on the court _and_ in this game."

"Whatever Carlin," Aiden laughed lightly, best 27/30 gets to take out Spencer.

"Dude…I'm done playing here, let's take it out on the court and why would I wanna take out Spencer? She's my sister. Besides isn't she crushing on you're ex…who by the way, is hot."

"Honestly…you should consider you're sister a lot more and yea so what if she is."

"I'm just saying man, I can't get you to score points with my sister because she's into Ashley…not that I'd get you to score points with her even if she weren't into Ashley," he chuckled and swatted Aiden on the leg, "let's go to the gym, you can help me muscle up."

"By what, being my punching bag?"

"No! And you better stop being a smart ass or no point scoring with my sister,"

"But I just thought you said—"

"Forget what I said and let's go man."

/

When Spencer woke up it was night time, she had slept out her entire Saturday and now she was starving, her stomach growled confirming the thought.

"I need to get some food," hopping out of bed and throwing on her sweatpants Spencer made her way to the kitchen. She found them all, having a great chef for a parent always meant fresh fruits and vegetables, especially lettuce, tomatoes deli slices and cheese. Spencer smiled as she pasted the wheat bread with mayo before throwing on the contents from the fridge. She beamed when the first bite was swallowed. Feet dangling as she sat atop the counter humming her favorite tune Spencer was well underway with her second deli sandwich when her dad entered the kitchen leaning on the counter, his hands pressed into his jaw as his eyes scanned his youngest amusingly.

"That good huh?"

With her mouth full she only nodded giving a thumb up at her father's question.

"Your mother told me she invited Ashley to dinner tomorrow."

"Yea she did."

"She also told me you didn't come home last night. Did you have fun?"

Spencer felt slightly uneasy, there was no pressure in talking to Arthur but jeesh she felt like the devil's child when he was being so wonderful with her.

"Dad…"

"It's ok Spence. I take it you two are ok now?"

"Yea we are," taking another bite of her sandwich.

"Good, I'd hate to see your heart get broken."

"Huh? Dad…Ashley an—,"

"I know, she's your friend…it's always those tragedies that are felt the most."

The blonde looked at her father, questioning his grey eyes.

"I'm going to get some work done, see you later sweetie," kissing her forehead.

Spencer shifted on the counter, "I love you dad."

Arthur turned before leaving the kitchen. "I know honey."

What the hell was up with that, heart break and _knowing_? Her parents were slowly starting to creep her out.

"I need to go back to bed" she felt her forehead to see if it was hot.

_'Can I come over Spencer?'_

'It's late Ash…and the drive from your place is ridiculously long for this hour, no matter how close you live.'

_'I promise, I'll be quick…I just want to see you.'_

'Make it her in ten minutes and I'll consider it letting you in.'

_'Done.'_

As Spencer hung up the phone there was a knock on her front door. What the—

"Told you I'd be quick," Ashley smiled causing her nose to crinkle.

"How did you…"

"Magic."

Spencer pulled the brunette into a hug, kissing her before smiling against her lips, "You'll need to teach me a little bit about your _magic_." Kissing her again, nothing rushed, just soft, tentative and loving. Their tongues caressing each others, causing a soft moan to escape the union. Spencer soon felt hot soft kisses against her jaw line, she made a sharp intake of breath when Ashley's hands that was firmly planted on her waist now moved to her abdomen, causing heat to course over her cool skin. "Jesus Spencer, you taste so good."

"Ehem, I didn't know she was edible"

A flushed Spencer jumped around to the familiar, annoying voice, "Go _away_ Glen," she seethed.

Ashley held her arm, caressing it, "Don't Spence,"

"Yea…don't Spence, or I'll tell mom and dad you're down here making kissy face with Ashley."

Ashley piped up, "What are you, twelve? Go play in a sandbox Glen…get sand in your panties."

"Whatever," walking to the kitchen, a slightly hurt look on his face.

Spencer turned to face Ashley, "coming inside?"

"I'd love to."

They lay there, Ashley propped on the pillow with Spencer's head resting on her chest, close to her heart, her arms draped over the brunette's abdomen and their legs intertwined.

Ashley drew lazy circles along the blonde's arm, "I missed this too."

Spencer looked up at her, her mind content, she placed a kiss on her chin, "I like listening to you breathe," and she nestled her head back into the softness of Ashley's valley, her eyes closed, smiling as she listened.

"I'm sorry about Glen,"

"It's ok Spence. I actually like your brother, he's funny."

"Hmnh, if you say so."

"I do," and she squeezed her tighter then, holding her ever so closely, not wanting to let go of her peace.

They stayed like that, in silence, neither wanting to ruin the other's moment with unnecessary words. Words weren't needed.

"I love you Spencer."

She didn't respond, the blonde was fast asleep


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**'Twas the night...well, morning if you must**

4:21, Ashley groaned a bit before lightly stretching as she looked over at the digital clock blinking blue lights, the blonde was still sleeping and still very much wrapped up in Ashley's arms and the last thing the brunette wanted to do was wake her. She reached across and stroked Spencer's hair back, placing kisses on her forehead, cheeks and lips. She was just as beautiful sleeping as she was awake and it broke Ashley's heart that she had to leave her so soon. She gently exited herself from the bed, putting the pillow as a replacement in the blonde's arms. Ashley felt her way through the dark room to find her phone. After a few minutes and realizing she wasn't getting anywhere she decided to leave it till later and made her way to the window. Ashley smirked, how juvenile of her to be leaving her girlfriends room through the window at odd hours of the morning.

"Where are you going," the sleepy voice whispered causing the brunette to turn around. She made her way back over to the bed, sitting at the edge and leaning down to nuzzle into the crook of Spencer's neck. Brushing her fingers across the blonde's cheek then kissing it lightly, "I'm going home baby, it's late…early, whatever it is I do not want your parents to crucify me."

Spencer frowned a bit, "They wont, they like you."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Spence, your parents think I'm your really good friend, if they ever knew even half the things that have been going on with us- God, I don't—" she stopped for a minute, realizing that her rant was causing Spencer to retract herself from the shared space between them. Ashley held on to her hand tighter then, "I'm sorry, but you know Spence that they don't know, you haven't even told them that you're gay and me sneaking out of your room is not the way they need to find out."

"Just stay one more hour; they don't get up till six anyway." Spencer knew she was pushing her limits, but she just needed Ashley to be with her.

"I can't, not now and not like this." As her words filed out Ashley saw the tears glistening, brimming and waiting to fall. "Please don't cry Spencer, you promised you wouldn't."

Letting go of her hands and reaching up to stroke her cheek, "I would love nothing more than to be with you day in and day out…night time included," her eyes lighting up as she spoke "but just understand that I can't let us get out of hand until you come out to your parents."

"I do understand, so yea you can go," she smiled slightly, "I will see you later tonight."

"Tonight?" a curious eyebrow raised as her forehead creased.

"Yea, dinner…" realization then hit, "shit I didn't—I forgot, my mom said to invite you over for dinner tonight."

Ashley's eyes widened as she fell off the bed in fright, "Why?"

"I have no idea, she just said. So this is me inviting you, Ashley will you come to dinner with my family tonight?"

"Spencer I don't…"

"Please? For me?" she made her way off the bed and down to where Ashley was, still wide eyed, "You look like you're about to keel over and die," she couldn't help but smile, "don't." She hovered over her now, leaning forward, their breaths mingled, "Just come, I promise they don't bite," she kissed her cheek, dragging her lips up to the brunette's ear to nibble on the soft flesh.

"Spence," her name was slurred, "I really d— " never getting a chance to finish as soft lips swooped down to claim hers in a passionate kiss begging to be satisfied, wanting her to stay. Ashley was now pressed hard unto the floor, Spencer's hips ground against her own, her thigh moving forward between Ashley's legs applying pressure, causing the brunette to arch forward as she made her desires known with the soft moans escaping her mouth. "Will you?"

Ashley licked her lips, she didn't want to tell the girl no but she also didn't want to be in an awkward situation with Spencer's parents…and Glen. "Spence, please don't—", and she was silenced again, Spencer had maneuvered her hands which held the brunette's face down to her stomach bunching her shirt up, kneading the soft, warm skin beneath her touch. She trailed a path of wet kisses down to Ashley's collar bone, then back up to her ear, finally stopping then placing three kisses on her cheek, nose and forehead, one each. "I'll tell them,"

Ashley's eyes opened at the statement, "but I need you to be there," the brunette sat up now staring at the blonde who eased off her ever so lightly. "Ashley," she reached for the girl's hand,

"I need you there…to be strong for me," she kissed her fingertips and sighed as she was being pulled closer into the huddle on the floor.

"Spencer—" her voice sounding unsure to the blonde who then cut her off, "Ashley, I know," then she began talking over her, "I wasn't going to say no Spence. If you want me to, I'll be there. You don't have to ask."

"Thank you," she placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

"I need to go, it's almost 5AM," she got up and pulled Spencer off the floor before walking to the window,

"What are you doing?"

"Going home…"

"The window Ash? I know it's not an appropriate time for you to be at my house but the window is just too juvenile." Ashley's faced flushed a bright embarrassing red which made Spencer laugh. "You can use the door, everyone's asleep, and I will cover you." They tiptoed down the stairs, all the while Spencer in front just in case she had to shield Ashley, they almost fell over each other before reaching the door Glen's X-box controller , their demise cut by Spencer's hand latching on to the railing, holding a tumbling Ashley firmly.

"Text me, let me know what time dinner is," her grin reaching from ear to ear.

"I will, go get some sleep, I'll see you later," placing a soft kiss on the still smiling Ashley.

She didn't stand at the door to watch Ashley drive off, she didn't want to blow her cover, but she did wait until she was safely inside her car before she closed the door. Picking up Glen's game control, she thought of what would have happened had they fallen. Getting caught was not something she would be able to explain but again she decided, Ashley was worth every bit of trouble she would in, had that happened.

The windows were rolled down, a free arm propped on the window making waves with her hand in the wind and the other tapping the steering wheel to the blued notes of Switchfoot's 'Learning to Breathe'.

_I need you there…to be strong for me_.

Ashley had taken on a new responsibility, protecting Spencer; and she would with everything that she had to offer. If only the blonde knew that it was only because of her that Ashley was able to muster any form of courage. Ashley chuckled; Spencer Carlin was going to owe her big time. Picking up her phone Ashley lazily dragged her fingers across the screen, finding Spencer's name.

**You're the strong one, you've always been.**

She pulled into her garage and headed straight to bed, she was beat and Spencer's teasing made her feel etchy, she was going to need a long cold shower, but not now-now, she needed to sleep.

"You really should consider being a lot quieter so early in the morning."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

"It's ok, we need to talk about this...you and Ashley."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**You're Still Standing**

Are you sure?"

"More than anything Glen."

He fizzed and ran his hand through his curly hair, staring down at his feet and wiggling his toes. A crooked half smile found its way to his lips as he chuckled at the memory.

_"MOM!" Then running down the stairs, "I'm gonna get you runt come here!" The little girl ran off giggling, her pig tails flashing two sides as she sprinted through the corridors into the kitchen, hiding behind the counter to catch her breath. In chasing after her, he stubbed his toe on his video game controller, "Aaargh! SPENCER YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID? MOM!" The blister on his big toe added flare to the bright red nail polish that covered his toenails but it only served to make him even more angry, Glen got up and tip-toed into the kitchen then stopped, he heard her giggling behind the counter, sliding skillfully behind the mass frame, he counted to ten then jumped out at her, "Gotchya now runt." The little girl jumped, falling backwards and scrambling to get back on her feet. He acted quickly and pinned her to the floor, _

_"MOMMY!"_

_"Mom's not gonna save you now Spence," raising his right arm and balling his hand into a fist pulling it all the way back, "I'm going to cream you." The horror of getting punched by Glen made the little girl's eyes go wide, her lips started quivering and the tears slowly formed threatening to fall, he could here the soft whimpers coming out of his little sister's mouth. "Crying won't save you Spence," and his hand started to fast-forward. Before his fist could land its target the boy felt his small frame being hoisted into the air and his legs began to dangle as he fought to get back on the ground, _

_"Didn't I tell you not to fight your sister?"_

_"But dad she started it! Look what she did to my toes!"_

_The raven haired man couldn't help but laugh as he turned his son around lifting him higher to view the masterpiece on his feet._

_"It's not funny daddy, I'm not a girl, and how am I supposed to go to the pool with this on? The guys will laugh at me!"_

_Holding the boy under his arm now Arthur turned his attention to his five year old daughter who was still on the ground, "I only wanted to make it look pwetty daddy," the tears falling in beads now as her little chest heaved._

_"I know baby, don't cry" he sat Glen on the counter and bent to pick up Spencer, rocking her back and forth, "shh shh, don't cry your brother didn't mean it."_

_"Yes I did!"_

_"Glen! Apologize to your sister right this minute!"_

_The look his father gave him made Glen cringe, "Sorry Spence," the apology was drawn out and even though she was so small Spencer knew he was only saying it because he was told to. She never meant to make him angry, she only painted his toenails red because Heather liked red._

_"Glen go get Travis, it's almost time to go."_

_"But I can't go with my feet looking like this," he whined_

_"Where your sneakers," his grey eyes narrowed_

_"Daddy…my toe?"_

_"Slippers," Arthur smiled, he couldn't believe he was being toted by his seven year old, imagine if he were sixteen._

_Glen was now trudging down the block in slippers, his big toe bandaged tight and socks in hand so he could slip them on if anyone he knew was coming. He saw a Robin at the end of the block and stopped to play with it,_

_"Hi Glen," He froze at the sound of his name, turning around to see a smiling Heather his knees getting wobbly, he liked her._

_"H—hey Heather"_

_"Are you coming to the pool today?"_

_"Y—yes," his palms started to sweat and he dropped his socks. Heather noticing this bent to pick them up. When she didn't come back up right away he felt as if he were about to cry, why Spence why? She finally stood up, giving the little boy a toothy grin, "Is the bandaged one polished too?" Glen could only nod too embarrassed to speak. His face blushed a bright red, and the shade jumped even higher when he felt a peck on his cheek, "Red's my favorite color."_

_"It is?" he gulped, his smile plastering his entire face._

_"Mhm, see you at the pool Glen, my mom's waiting on me," and she skipped pass him and down the block. For a moment he could only sit and smile, his knees to week to carry him, he'd just been kissed by Heather Blair, his life was complete._

_He eyed his little sister splashing her feet in the water and walked over to her, she looked sad._

_As he sat down beside her she latched on to him, "I'm sorry," her voice only a whisper._

_Glen ruffled her hair and put his free arm around her shoulder, "Nah, it's ok," then lifting his feet out the water and wiggling his toes "they don't look half bed, and red's a nice color,"_

_"You're not mad?"_

_"I was…but next time, Spence please tell me before you take my body parts for a coloring book."_

_She giggled, "I will." And they sat there side by side splashing there feet in the water until it was time to go._

"You know I love you right?"

"Sometimes I question that."

A slightly hurt look gleamed in his eye, and he bumped her shoulder, "Well I do, so stuff it," he said rolling his eyes.

She smiled at the motion and bumped back, "I know you do, I was just joking."

"If you're sure you love her then all I can do is have your back and pray to God that she doesn't hurt you, for her sake," the cold tone at the end in which Glen spoke made the hairs on Spencer's arm rise, "I'm sure."

Glen ran his hand through his hair again, looking at his baby sister, his eyes softening the protectiveness still very much evident in his firm posture, "Come here," pulling her into a breath stifling hug, "when did you get so big huh? Going off and falling in love"

"Oh God please don't start to reminisce, leave that to Grandma and Grandpa."

The curly haired blonde chuckled lightly before releasing his sister, placing a kiss on her forehead then giving her a serious look, "_No sex_," Spencer blushed furiously, the bluntness of Glen's statement coursed embarrassment through her body, a torrent of blood rushing to her brain causing her to loose speech. She hadn't done anything like that with the brunette. It's not like she hadn't thought about sex with Ashley, the constant grinding on each other every time they made contact and the lack of control she has when they're together…but jeesh Glen, way to invade a girl's space. "_Not that it's any of your business but where not having sex_," she seethed under her breath.

"Good," squeezing her tightly again, "You know mom and dad know right?"

"I had an awkward feeling that they did, but they're just waiting for me to say it."

"So what's stopping you then?"

"Fear they'll hate me, stop me from seeing Ashley, its all easy street until they hear the truth straight from the horses mouth,"

He could hear the worry that etched her speech, "You told me, and I still love you," his eyes lighting up as he looked down at her and seeing a faint smile.

"Yea but not everyone feels the same Glen."

"Well…if they don't accept you I—I'll kick their asses."

"Glen they're our parents?"

He thought for a second, "I'll wait till I move out…then I'll kick their asses," he smiled down at his little sister. The sun was coming up, and dinner was fast approaching thought thirteen hours and counting, Spencer could feel the tension at the dinner table that was nowhere near ready to be set, she held her head as she felt slightly woozy.

"Later Glen, I'm going back to bed," and she trolled up the stairs.

"Later Spence."

_'It's at 7:30, yea I know…mhm, later. I love you too.'_

She couldn't wipe the grin that plastered her face.

"Was that Ashley?"

"Yea, just giving her a heads up on dinner."

"Good, I'm delighted she accepted."

/

The doorbell rang and Spencer flew from the kitchen where she was setting the table to answer it. She opened the door to a fidgeting Ashley who was shifting her weight from one leg to the other, her curls were pinned up loosely, and she was dressed in a simple black halter top and a short, very short deep blue denim skirt. "You look beautiful," kissing the brunette lightly. The flowers in Ashley's hand didn't go unnoticed. "Those for me?"

"Uuhh, no…I brought them for your mom, oh gee I would've bought you flowers too but I wasn't thinking and then I wasn't sure what to get and I'm really sorry I brought your mom fl—," and Spencer's lips were on hers again lingering this time, "calm down…its ok, I'm sure she'll love them."

Walking into the dining room, "look what Ashley brought you mom,"

"Lilies! My favorite, thank you Ashley dear."

"You're welcome Mrs. C—,"

"Paula, please call me Paula."

"Yes ma'am," Spencer snickered then rest her hand on Ashley's shoulder reassuringly.

"Dinner will be ready in three."

/

"Spencer, say grace."

"Thank you God that we are able to sit here as a family, together with friends, _she squeezed Ashley's hand,_ about to partake in a wonderful meal. Bless us now, as we eat. Amen.

"Thank you sweetie."

The first few minutes were quiet, and then Paula took the initiative to start the conversation,

"So how's school you guys,"

"Passed another Physics test," Clay grinned,

"I beat up Aiden," Glen smiled, his parents eyes narrowed, "What? It was a friendly wrestling match.

"The one he made you win?" Spencer snickered and Glen scoffed causing Ashley to smile. "Well classes are alright,"

"Just alright?" Paula probed

"Yea."

"Okay…Ashley?"

Her eyes lifting from her plate for the first time, "Huh?"

"What about you? How's school?"

"It's ok I guess, nothing to brag about."

"How's your mother?" Arthur smiled

"She's quite good actually, we haven't gotten a chance to do that thing yet but she promises."

"Good,"

Spencer quirked an eyebrow as she looked between Ashley and her dad, it was the first someone had used the word mother to Ashley and her reaction was other than disgust…happiness even, what was going on around here? They all started laughing when Ashley was giving her famous impression of Mr. Torres the Spanish teacher, funny she knew what he sounded like when she hadn't been to a class since the beginning of the semester.

"Did you make this salad Mr. C?"

"Nope, that was all Paula,"

"Wow, best Greek salad I've tasted since my Grandma's," Ashley smiled

"Thank you Ashley, took a cooking course the year I met Arthur, I decided I couldn't marry a man who was a better cook than I was," the table burst out laughing again.

"Where's your grandma?" Spencer asked

"Funny you should ask, she's in Ireland at the moment, she's coming to visit in two weeks."

"Ireland huh?"

"Yea, she's lived there since granddad died, to be closer to him."

"Where's she from originally?"

"She was born and raised in England, spent most of her adult life in France, where she met my grandfather during the war, then they moved to Ireland after he retired from the service, that's where he's from."

"Wow, rich culture."

"I suppose so," she chewed her lettuce, "How long have you and Mr C been married?"

Paula looked over at Arthur, an ignited gleam in her eye, "20 amazing years, and he still looks at me as if I'm the most beautiful thing in the room."

"You are honey,"

A cough and sputter erupted from Glen, "I'm still in the room guys."

"That's sweet," she smiled a little remembering her grandfather, "My grandparents were married for 46."

"Now that's commitment, how did he ever manage? Almost 50 years of the same woman,"

"Glen!"

"What? It's a serious question," he said in defense.

The brunette smiled, "he loved her,"

"What do you say Paula, wanna give Ashley's grandparents a run for their money?"

The woman blushed furiously at the thought.

"Yea, I hope to have a love like theirs one day too," she said eyeing Spencer who was looking down at her plate trying to contain her smile.

"May I please be excused? I need to check to see if my sister's called me back yet."

"Sure thing dear."

Spencer looked up to see the brunette saunter off leaving her at the table.

"Ashley's very nice Spencer, it's good you've made such a nice friend."

"Yea mom, I'm glad you like her."

The silence was becoming unbearable as Spencer contemplated telling her parents that her and Ashley had been up to some not so friendly activities, sure it didn't take that long to check your messages, she glanced across at Glen who was smiling back at her winking, Clay was telling Arthur some fascinating facts he found out about tomatoes as he moved his own around in his plate and Paula-well Paula was humming the Jeopardy theme song, not something she did very often, something she only did when—, Spencer's phone buzzed, _saved. _

**Get a clue and get out here!**

"Excuse me guys, Ashley needs some help,"

"To check her text messages?"

"No mom, she can't find the bathroom, I'll only be a minute."

Arthur looked across at Paula, a sympathetic smile on his face.

"Took you long enough," a wide smile appeared on Ashley's lips at the sight of the blonde coming toward her. "You really take long to catch o—," and in one swept up motion, warm lips were on hers for a short but oh so delicious moment.

"I've missed you."

"I've been sitting beside you all night."

"It's not the same,"

"Your family together is nice."

"It's 'cause you're here, usually they act like aliens from outer space," her laugh was light.

"So…"

"So…."

"Are you ready?"

Her eyes grew sad, "I can't,"

"Spencer…"

"I'm not ready Ash," her vision becoming blurred from the tears that brimmed her lids.

Pulling the girl into a hug, "You don't have to tell them now Spence, its ok."

"Tell them what?" both girls turned to see turned to see Paula standing across the room with her arms folded, oh yea, she's been there for more than a minute.

"Ashley, can you give Spencer and me a minute please?"

"Aaahh," looking at Spencer asking if it were ok to leave, the blonde only nodded. "Yea, I'll be outside," and she watched her walk out, closing the door behind her.

The silence dawned on them both, Paula licked her lips, "So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Nothing," she answered too quickly.

"You know sweetie, you're not very good at hiding things."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"Spence, sweetie," walking across the foyer and cupping her daughter's face, stroking her hair lightly, "I was hoping you would eventually come and find me but it looks like you weren't planning on that any time soon."

The tears formed hot under her lids, and stayed there as her mother continued to talk, "I don't see why you would be afraid to come and talk to me, or your father for that matter. We love you Spencer."

"Mom I—,"

"You, are our daughter and it doesn't matter if you're gay, or…" Paula now felt her own tears beginning to fall, "the point is you should never be afraid to tell us anything."

The two blondes were now in an emotional entanglement, sobs of happiness and relief filled the room and then Spencer's phone vibrated, a text from Ashley.

**Is it safe to come back inside?**

Spencer only smiled and went to the door, stepping outside into the cool night she walked down to meet the brunette who was leaning against the door of her car.

"Spencer, you're crying did Pau—," she felt the blonde's lips on hers again for the third time that night, this time there was no kiss me quick, before someone sees, just a slow rhythmic movement, it didn't take long for Ashley to fall into it, her mouth opening earnestly to a pleading tongue that darted in at the first chance, a soft moan escaping when teeth grazed a swollen bottom lip. A sharp intake of breath was head as Spencer stepped back just enough to look into the brunette's eyes, their foreheads pressed together.

"Why were you crying," her voice barely a whisper.

"My mo—,"

"Are you two ok out there?" Ashley jumped from her spot between her car and Spencer so fast that the blonde almost fell forward hitting the glass.

"Ashley could come here!" She looked across at Spencer, her eyes questioning. The walk up to Spencer's front door where Paula stood waiting felt like a death sentence, it was the slowest Ashley had ever remembered walking, he palms sweating with slow ventilating sounds escaping her mouth as her chest rose and fell.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, calm down Ashley dear."

"Y—you don't want to kill me?" looking down at her feet

"Haha, no dear. I don't have a motherly speech to give either, just thought I'd let you know that it's ok for you and Spencer to _see_ each other." The brunette's eyes widened a little further.

"Honestly you two were doing a horrible job of hiding it anyway," a half smile planted on the older woman's lips as she thought about the times, stepping forward she hugged Ashley, "take care of her for us, it's good to know she has someone she can talk to."

When Paula stepped away from Ashley and turned to go inside the girl was still silent, "see you around Ashley." And she stood there not moving, till she felt a warm hand from behind lacing its fingers with hers, and lips whispered softly into her ears, "That went well, you're still standing."

"Yea…I am."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**The Wind-up**

"Tell me to stop," hot kisses trailed down her neck as warm hands slowly bunched her top up over her abdomen.

"I don't want you to stop," her own lips started attacking the brunette's neck, nipping and sucking, desperate to leave a mark.

"We need to stop," Ashley's actions very much contradicting her words as she moved up into a kneeling position between Spencer's legs, kissing up the sides of her curves biting as she went along. Stopping, Ashley looked down at the blonde whose face was flushed, ragged breaths escaping her swollen lips, the heat made her hair stick to her forehead. Ashley reached forward brushing golden strands out of Spencer's face, "I want to see your eyes."

She looked at the blonde; Spencer's eyes had become a deeper shade of blue, filled with lust, the love that fueled that lust very much evident as well. A sigh escaped the brunette's lips as she sat back on her heels taking in the beauty that lay before her. Spencer could feel the change in mood as Ashley looked away as if trying to find a reason to continue. She pulled herself up into a sitting position, her hand cupping one side of Ashley's face as her thumb lightly massaged the soft skin there. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she kissed the insides of Spencer's wrist, "everything's perfect."

Spencer could hear the sharp intake of breath and she knew the girl wasn't being honest.

"Tell me, please."

She smiled faintly for the blonde, "There's nothing to tell Spence."

Ashley moved from her current position to lie beside the girl, she draped Spencer's leg over her hip, resting her own head in the crook of the blonde's shoulder breathing in her scent and pulling her closer then.

"You're not getting out of telling me what's wrong," Spencer said simply, her fingers stroking Ashley's arm. It was then that she felt warm liquid running off her shoulder.

"I love you so much Spencer," her voice barely audible

"I'm glad." Her hands coming up to brush the brunette's hair, "I love you too."

"You've changed so much since I first met you. You're not angry all the time anymore, and you're so sure of yourself. I'm proud of you Ash, for being so strong, you're my inspiration. I want you to know that."

Ashley's only response was to nuzzle closer into the warmth beside her.

"We'll continue our _moment_ when you're ready," and as it had been ending the past two weeks for one reason or the next, they fell asleep in each others arms.

/

"Spencer!"

She flashed around to see who it was yelling her name, it took a moment before she recognized the figure coming towards her.

"Kyla?"

The girl finally caught up to her, "What's wrong?"

"Thank…good…ness," she said breathlessly. Bending slightly to catch her breath, when she stood back up her smile was wide, scary Dr. Seuss wide. "I'm glad I caught you. I need help."

"With?"

"Planning Ashley's birthday party."

"Are you sure she wants one Kyla?" The brunette had made it adamantly clear that she didn't want a bunch of unnecessary faces with fake smiles celebrating just another day.

'_It's not just another day. You came into existence, and for that I'm grateful." A firm kiss was planted on the brunette's lips._

'_Torturing me is not gonna get you your way Spence…no party.'_

'_I'm not torturing you,' she grinned as her hands roamed under the girl's shirt over her abdomen and slipping under her back to the clasp of her bra._

'_Yeeees you are,' she giggled as Spencer tickled her sides then placed more kisses on her neck and below her ear._

'_Fine, if you won't have a party, at least spend it with me, let me show you just how grateful I am.'_

'_If you promise there'll be more of this…' she kissed the blonde's neck 'and this…' she kissed her lips 'and this…' she started tickling Spencer._

'_Alright- alright! I promise!' she laughed herself into a fit. 'I promise.' _

"Doesn't matter, she's getting one. And she'll love it." Spencer was silent. "C'mon Spencer, _please?_" Kyla used her overly effective pout, no one was able to say no to that face, not even Ashley and Spencer was no exception.

"Fine, just let me know what you need me to do."

"Yay!" she jumped up and clapped her hands, "First of all, you're the main distraction…"

"Why me?" Spencer asked jokingly, it didn't stop Kyla from playing along.

"'Cause, you're the only person she enjoys sucking face with, and apparently that's the only thing that holds her attention."

"Hey! We do more than just 'suck face'"

"Please spare me the details," I'm still trying to get over the last time I walked in on you two together. Kyla grimaced at the memory.

"_That's why you knock_," Ashley crept up behind Kyla causing the younger brunette to jump.

"Ashley!"

"Kyla," raising an inquisitive eyebrow at the girl before turning to Spencer, "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing," Kyla answered before Spencer could even come up with a suitable answer.

"Spence, have anything else for me besides nothing?"

"She's right. It is nothing; we were just planning her proposal piece for Mr. Tierney's History class on Thursday. Kyla can't afford another B+"

Kyla's eyes widened, _wow she's good_. A nervous laugh escaped her, "You know me, Bs are bad."

Spencer couldn't help but laugh at the comment.

"Well, when you're done, can we please talk about that thing?"

"What thing?"

"You know, that French thing."

"Okay? I'll just be a minute."

"Good, I'll be behind the gym," and she sauntered off, Spencer could have sworn she saw her skip.

/

"So what French thing did you wanna talk about?"

Her question being answered with soft lips pressed to her own and a hot tongue slipping into the cavern of her mouth at first contact. Ashley pressed herself into Spencer as she held onto her shoulders. After a significant amount of minutes sharing tender, breathless love expressions Ashley stepped back, her eyes shining as she smiled at the girl before her.

"Oh, _that_ French thing," the color in her cheeks turning up at the thought of her naivety.

"It's ok Spence, your innocence is a gift, and it's part of why I love you." She placed a quick kiss on her lips before continuing. "My grandma's flying in this weekend for my birthday, and I was wondering if she could join us for whatever we were going to do, if you don't mind."

"I don't," she smiled as she kissed Ashley, "I can't wait to meet her."

"Does that mean you'll come to the airport with me when I go to pick her up Thursday?"

"If you want me to I will."

"I want you to."

"Done."


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

**Unnoticed Gestures**

"Are you nervous Spencer Carlin?"

"No," she shot the brunette a menacing glance but was only repaid with a nose crinkling smile.

"Yes you are," stopping midway the journey Ashley turned Spencer to face her, warm hand rested on the blonde's shoulders. "Look at me. It's going to be fine, stop being so nervous, it's not Paula we're facing," noticing the smirk on Spencer's face, "I threw the last part in for effect. Spence, she's great trust me, she _will_ like you, I'm already crazy about you," she placed quick kiss on Spencer's lips, "Let's go, she'll be out soon."

They sat in the arrival lounge for what seemed like an eternity, "Ash I thought you said _soon_,"

"Me too, I can't feel my legs now, I need mobility."

Spencer moved her hand over to rub the brunette's thigh, "That feel better?"

"Mmmm, mhm, now my leg's all tingly inside," she threw her head back and let out a laugh, "I can't believe I just used that word," she laughed till her eyes were filled with moisture.

"Ash?" Spencer had noticed the brunette gazing off into the crowd of people buzzing through customs, her chin rested in her palm as her fingers played mindlessly with her bottom lip. _God_ _she was beautiful_. She could never really understand what it was that made her crave the girl's presence so much, and in all fairness, confessing that it was a choice that Spencer made to be around Ashley, _with_ Ashley made the relationship between them more precious, she couldn't help but smile.

The brunette shifted looking over at Spencer, "Yea?"

"I—when's your grandma gonna be here?"

"We should be seeing her soon, is everything ok?"

"Yea…" a sad smile played on her lips as she looked across at the brunette,

Spencer reached across holding onto the girl's hand, "I love you."

"Hmnh, I know," and she looked away, never wanting Spencer to see the unshed tears that lidded her eyes. The blonde moved closer to her then, "Ash," turning the brunette's face in view with her own, her thumb stroking a warm cheek, "what's wrong?"

Ashley only shakes her head, _nothing_, followed by her leaning into Spencer, hugging her tightly as they sat on the seat. Time was moving so slowly.

Spencer peered over the brunette's shoulder to see an elderly woman dressed in a cream Armani pants suit and oversized sunglasses hiding her eyes, her silver hair was sleeked back neatly and she stood with her luggage on either side, looking down at the gold band on her wrist she flipped out her cell phone and started dialing. Something about her screamed _Davies_.

"Ashley?" tapping the brunette on her shoulder, "Is that her?"

She straightened up and turned around to see her grandmother standing there, a smile across her face as one of the attendants brought the rest of her luggage out. Ashley wiped her eyes and looked back at Spencer smiling, "Yea, that's her."

Ashley stood up and motioned for Spencer to do so as well, "C'mon Spence…we need to get over there." The blonde let out a loud sigh and stood up. Ashley held her hand, squeezing it tightly as a sign of reassurance. Ashley could feel how tense the girl beside her was, stopping midway she turned to her, "Stop being so scared," kissing her on the lips, "you're adorable. She can't not love you."

"Well, not everyone's like _you_ Ashley."

"That's a good thing, means I have no competition," placing a soft kiss to her neck.

They continued to walk towards the woman, as she got closer in view Spencer's eyes widened, the woman didn't look a day over 40, if it weren't for the color of her hair she could pass for just that. From observation she realized the woman's beauty wasn't a product of Botox or unnecessary nip tucks, Ashley's _grandmother_ was naturally beautiful, a woman blessed with aging gracefully, _wow_ was all Spencer could think. When she felt a nudge she realized she had been gawking.

"Hello to you to dear and your name is?"

"Spencer, pleased to meet you."

The woman smiled approvingly at her, "What an interesting choice of name for a young woman," Spencer blushed at the statement, "I like it," there was a twinkle in her eye as she removed her glasses to take the blonde's hand Spencer noticed her eyes were a different color, _violet_.

"Thank you,"

"Ok, so now that you two have met, let's go."

They were at the car, when Iliad was a distance away talking to the valet Ashley leaned into Spencer, whispering in her ear, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you have the hots for my grandmother."

Spencer choked, "why do you call her that? She looks anything but,"

"So you _have_ been checking her out then," the brunette smiled.

She gently shoved Ashley off her when she saw her grandmother coming back.

"You riding in front grandma?"

"Oh nonsense dear, I'll sit in the back."

"Please, by all means, I don't mind taking the back plus you need quality time with Ashley,"

Iliad smiled, "That my dear, I will have, when the time comes. Nothing has to change just because I'm here, now take the front and keep my granddaughter company. I won't look so good dozing off in the front seat," Spencer laughed at the statement.

The drive to Ashley's was quiet, apart from the few jokes Iliad told of her flight to LA not much was said. At some point in time Spencer reached across and laced her fingers with Ashley's free hand squeezing it lightly, signaling that she was still with her.

The gesture didn't go unnoticed by the woman sitting in the back.

/

"Mother,"

"Hello darling, it's been so long, I do miss you, you know," the hug was prolonged as Christine inhaled her mother-in-law's scent; she'd missed the close contact ever since Daniel died, though by choice there were certain little things she never got over.

"I've missed you too mother. So how was your flight."

Iliad laughed heartily, "Don't get me started on that one, these two young ladies," motioning to Spencer and Ashley "have been laughing nonstop since I mentioned my journey back."

Christine turned to the blonde, "Hello Spencer, it's been a while."

The blonde's eyes widened, she looked at Ashley who had an innocent grin on her face, then back to Christine, "I—it has."

"It is good to see you none the less."

"Same here."

"Come along mother, let me take you to your room, there are some things we need to discuss."

When the two women were out of sight Spencer looked at Ashley, "When did your mother become so welcoming?"

"You have your dad to thank for that," an eyebrow was raised intuitively at the statement.

"I'll tell you all about it later, now let's get the rest of these suitcases out the car."

/

"Whew, I never knew one woman could have so much luggage, how did she ever get pass customs?"

"Eight pieces," a smile grazed her lips as she looked over at the blonde whose head was turned up with her eyes closed breathing in, "is not a lot of luggage Spence."

"Yea well…"

"Well?"

"Nothing," and her head was in Ashley's lap then, she felt content when a hand reached down to rub her back while another stroked her hair.

"You never told me your grandmother's British accent was so strong."

"She's from there Spence…I just assumed,"

"Hmnh, I know Ash. It's fitting in a way, proper." An exhausted sigh passed the blondes lips as her breathing became more relaxed.

"Are you tired?"

"Hmnh," and she took Ashley's hand, kissing her fingertips. Before she herself realized it, Spencer was fast asleep.

Ashley was humming a tune as she stroked Spencer's hair, the silence in the moment made her content, she bent to kiss Spencer's head, "_God you've turned me into mush_," her smile was faint.

"Has she really?" a slight chuckle came from the woman who was leaning against the door.

"Grandma, I didn't realize you were standing there," the color in her cheeks turned up.

Iliad only smiled and started to hum the tune, finishing what her granddaughter had started.

"You know that song?"

"Why, yes. It's quite popular among the children at Briar."

"Oh," a sort of sadness washed over the brunettes features.

"I did happen to get the CD itself actually, I play it too often I think" never leaving Ashley's facial expression unnoticed, "my son's music makes me feel close to him, to his father."

Ashley's eye lit up at her grandmother's confession, she continued the conversation.

"Briar?" raising an eyebrow

"Yes, I teach a few piano lessons four times a week, it keeps me active."

"I guess so, Spencer doesn't believe you're my grandmother."

"Darling, _I_ don't believe I'm your grandmother."

They both laughed at the remark, "I'd hug you right now grandma but my hands are a bit full." referring to the sleeping blonde that lay in her arms, "as soon as she leaves, it's me and you." Her trademark smile finding its way to her lips.

Iliad shook her head in affirmation, "she seems to be quite the charmer Ashley, I must speak with her before I leave." The statement caused Ashley to raise her eyebrows questioning.

"_Oh dear God_, no darling do _not_ give me that look, I won't eat her. Now, I must go pester your mother about those enormously sized palm pots out front." Ashley only laughed as the woman sauntered away, she loved her grandmother dearly and knew she wouldn't say anything to offend Spencer but she couldn't help but think what it was that she would want to actually talk to her, _alone_.

/

"Haha, _you_ my friend are _very_ funny." Glen wiped the tears that winced from his eyes.

"Look, it's bound to be the pick-me-up till all the real mess starts."

"Yea but I'm not making myself look like an idiot in front of half of King High."

"It's not half; we're looking at like a hundred people here!"

"Half…"

"I'll purposely let you floor me at the game on Saturday," in hoped of getting him to agree

"Dude, I already do that,"

"Hookup with Madison?"

"Been there,"

"A date with Stephanie Pryce,"

"Deal!"

"Nice. Now let's get started on the material we're gonna need."

"Hey what are you guys doing in here?"

"Just planning Ashley's party."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Glen have you seen your sister?"

"She went to go get Ashley's grandma from the airport."

"Iliad's in town?" Aiden's face went white.

"Dude…"


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

**Les Paul**

"Arthur sweetie, I never see our children anymore."

"Well, that's because you're hardly ever home dear."

Paula let out an exasperated sigh, "But I have been these past two weeks and I've seen Spencer a total of six times, and Glen he's always out with Aiden, Clay's in Panama…I just don't know."

"Honey, what's the matter?"

"I just sometimes wish they would have stayed little you know," she wiped the tears that now rolled down her cheeks.

"Sweetie, don't cry. It's alright," placing a kiss on her forehead, "we can always have more if it will make you happy."

The small sobs then turned into small chuckles, then a booming laughter, with tears still running as she laughed Paula spoke, "Never again, I love our kids but I don't think I could handle another Glen." The statement had Arthur laughing as well, he pulled his wife into him and hugged her, "I love you." The both of them laughing of their well shared moment.

"What's so funny?" Glen walked into the kitchen to get a soda but stopped midway when he saw his parents. Instead of answering they just stared at him laughing.

"Okay then, I'll just be going back outside now."

Walking into the garage, "Dude, I knew having a child like Spencer turned my parents into a nut but you should have seen 'em just n— ," he looked closer, "Christ Aiden, are you trying to break your arm?"

"Yea, I'm hoping to gain some sympathy for when I see Iliad, so she doesn't kill me."

"Yea, I've been meaning to ask, what's with you and Ashley's grandmother?"

"When Ashley and I were together, she got pregnant."

"Say no more, if you ever did that to Spencer I'd hunt you down…kill you, and then burn you."

Aiden rolled his eyes, "Whatever man. It wasn't like that ok. Anyway, she lost the baby and Iliad was there for all of that. She saw and felt everything, the same way Ashley did."

"So…"

"I kind of took a backseat, disappeared for three months, after Ashley lost the baby I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. Her grandmother pretty much considers me a jerk for running away."

"And you think a broken arm is gonna stop her from beating the shit out of you for having unprotected sex and knocking up underage granddaughter then leaving?

"Nice Glen, real nice."

Swatting Aiden on the shoulder, "Heck, it's fine, I'll help you break that arm of yours."

Aiden started laughing, "Never mind, I have something else in mind."

\

"Ok, ok move that there and th—, Aiden! You're not listening uuuggh!"

"Calm down Kyla, I got it."

"No, you don't 'got it' if you did we would have been on to the streamers already!"

"We have time."

"It's after 2, there's just so much Ashley can do before she decides to come home."

"Your confidence in Spencer is lacking," Aiden chuckled still moving the table to the corner.

Blowing the hair out of her face, Kyla slumped down on the box of streamers, "I just want everything to be perfect,"

"It will be…don't worry about it."

"Hey, where's Glen?"

\

"You know if you keep fidgeting it's going to get messed up,"

"But it tickles Ash," still squirming around on the bed and giggling.

Ashley had been working on the left side of Spencer's lower abdomen with a pen and marker for the last 15 minutes and had yet to tell her what she was writing, "Just 3 more minutes Spence, please stay still," and she kissed close to the area she was marking. Spencer through her arm over her face covering her eyes.

"Will you at least tell me what you're doing?"

"I'm joining us," Ashley said, reaching up and pulling the blonde's hand from her eyes. "And it's finished," smiling her signature smile, "look."

She pulled Spencer up and led her to the mirror, a scripted 'S' with an 'A' hanging from it's tail through the loop framed in a heart. Spencer turned to look at Ashley who was standing behind her.

"Do you like it?"

"Very original," she laughed pulling the brunette into a hug.

"I'm getting a real one soon."

Pulling back slightly Spencer looked at Ashley, "Ash…a tattoo, it…it's pretty permanent."

"And so are we.

"Are you sure about that Ash?"

"I never wanna be with anyone else Spencer. I love who I am when I'm with you. I love who I've become. I can look in the mirror and feel so content with myself. I feel loved because of you, and you're dad has helped so much in me building a relationship with my mother…_God_ Spence, we have dinner together _every_ night now, and we actually talk. Once, I never even _thought_ that would've been possible and I have you to thank for that. So I know I'm sure."

"Ashley I—I never knew…" the blonde was obviously at a loss for words, she loved the girl that was for sure but she never even realized just how much that meant to the brunette, "All I did was love you," she whispered.

"That was all I needed, thank you."

Resting her forehead on Spencer's, "Are _you_ sure?"

Spencer breathed in, "I am if you are."

"Hahaha, I am."

"Good. Now we have to get going, the day is almost over and that means we only have a few hours left to celebrate."

"Where are we going?" her smile beaming.

"On the strip, rooftop dinner, nothing too elaborate."

"And my grandma's coming too right?"

"Yea, we go pick her up at your house in a few."

When Ashley came out of the shower Spencer was at the edge of the bed fumbling with her suitcase, she'd been holding the little blue velvet box in her hand contemplating when to give it to Ashley, when the brunette had opened the bathroom door unexpectedly Spencer threw the box back into her suitcase.

"Spence, is everything ok?"

"Yea, I was ju—this zipper is giving me hell."

"Well don't break it."

Walking over to the side of the bed Ashley took up the suitcase and placed it on the bed. A piece of fabric was stuck in the zipper which meant she had to pull back the zipper, opening the suitcase to fix it. When she drew back the zipper with ease she looked at Spencer, "See, that wasn't so hard w— ,"

The box was there in plain sight.

"Spence…" taking the tiny box in her hand,

"Open it."

The brunette's breath hitched when she saw the diamond encrusted 'A' on the silk cushion inside the box, pulling it forward she realized it was attached to string of white gold, her eyes watered as she looked back at the blonde. "You got me a necklace…"

"I wanted to give it to you at the perfect moment."

She shut her eyes and the tears squeezed through trailing down her cheeks, "This. Just now was perfect. Thank you so much Spence."

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. I love _you_," Ashley moved closer then, placing her hand on Spencer's cheek kissing her softly, "I love you so much. The best thing anyone has ever given me."

"I love you too."

Glancing over at the clock, 6:32, Spencer remembered Kyla's 7:00PM don't be late memo and whispered to Ashley to hurry and get dressed or they'd be late.

They sat in the car waiting for Ashley's grandmother to come out but Iliad seemed to have lost track of time.

"I wonder where she is,"

"You should go check."

"I know, I'll call her."

The phone rang out the first time and Ashley called the number again, "Grandma?"

'_Ashley dear, could you come up and help me, I seemed to have caught my zipper. I'm terribly sorry darling.'_

She snapped the phone shut and turned to Spencer, "Come with me? Grandma needs help with her dress."

"Sure."

Ashley opened the door to darkness, "Why the hell is in here so dark," then a light flickered on from the corner.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEY!"

She looked at Spencer who had a grin on her face, "Surprise?"

She looked back inside the house, her eyes scanned the majority of people, then Kyla jumped out at her, "It's about time you got here, come in." Then she smiled at Spencer, "Good work recruit. I'll consider you for future operations." The comment made Ashley glance over at the blonde again.

"You knew about this?"

She wasn't mad. At least she didn't sound that way. Spence became so tense and nervous her palms started itching.

"Kyla wait, Ashley…come here for a sec. I know you said you didn't want a party and I'm so so sorry I— ,"

Her confession was cut short by a soft pair of lips that grazed her own, lightly nipping at her lower lip before stopping. "Thank you."

Spencer smiled, her smile growing wider as she saw Iliad approached with a large box. Ashley spun around to see her grandmother, who had the wildest grin on her face,

"I see you got that zipper up,"

"Your mother helped me," she shrugged off laughing "This, my dear is for you. I'll put it over there with the rest, pointing to the stash of gifts over at the bar counter."

"Time to have some fun Ash," Kyla piped as the DJ started mixing.

Talk about decorating, Kyla had the place turned into a nightclub, Ashley felt like she was about to fall off the planet. The night dragged on, Glen and Aiden had their 30 minute clown act, Ashley couldn't remember a time where she'd laughed so hard. It made Glen proud. The host of people had sung happy birthday while she sat at the bar surrounded by her presents, mainly tiny envelopes with checks. She might have counted up to $2000 in checks, she gave the crowd a toothy grin as she secretly thought about her trip she'd have to make down to Bloomingdale's when she got the chance.

Her grandmother's gift was saved for last. Ashley tore the packaging rapidly before she unveiled a white Les Paul electric guitar, there was a card attached to it;

'_Dearest Ashley. I've been gone for a while, possibly the worst kind of father. But I want you to know that each and every single day that I get on a stage, sing a song or even strum a note, you're the one thing that's on my mind. Today's your 18__th__ birthday and it pains me to know I'm not there with you, I'll make it up to you, I promise. In the meantime, I hope you like your present; I got it autographed by the man himself. Do me a favor and rock out just like your old man would. _

_I love you Ashley xx.'_

And for the second time that day Ashley's eyes watered, she got up and walked over to her grandmother, "Thank you so much grandma," Iliad pulled her into a hug.

"I'm glad you like it sweetheart. I hope you know just how much your father loves you."

"I do." She said as she wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Now go enjoy yourself with your friends, I see Spencer over there waiting for you."

Ashley walked up behind the blonde and snaked her arms around her waist kissing the back of her neck.

"Ash do you know Anisa from school?"

"Yea, Geography with Taylor right?"

"Yea, awesome party by the way. Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

"I'll see you later, Spence dance with me?"

"Well this is new, I thought you didn't dance."

"I'm in a good mood tonight."

When Spencer and Ashley took the floor the DJ spun a selected record from Kyla,

"This one's for you birthday girl"

Ashley held on to Spencer's waist as she moved with her, not going with the up tempo of the beat.

"I didn't like the way she was looking at you"

"Who?"

"Anisa, she was looking at you like she wanted to fuck you."

"Only you look at me like that Ash," Spencer stated trying to play it off.

"Hence, I know the look, and she was giving it to you,"

"I wasn't paying attention to that."

"I was…"

"Don't. I want you and only you ok. No one else, and I'm willing to show you just how much."

Her head dipped down so her lips touched the brunette's neck sucking on the soft flesh. Then she trailed hot kisses up to her jaw line, ignoring everyone else in the room she captured Ashley's lips in a quest for redemption. Her teeth tugging at the brunette's bottom lip, grazing her tongue on the frame of her lips before slipping it inside, Spencer growled as Ashley's nails dug into the exposed skin at her waist, she brought her lips to Ashley's ear, "I want _only_ you."

"Want her later," Spencer felt the brunette pulled from her grasp, "I have a speech to make."

She could only laugh off the embarrassment as she watched Ashley being made to sit down, her face burned but she could only laugh, then she looked over and saw Ashley wink.

Tonight was going to be good.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

**You'll Get Your Turn Soon Enough**

The last of the guests filed out as Ashley slumped back into the couch blowing an exhausted sigh.

"That was good."

"I know, and to think I didn't want a party. Thanks for going behind my back Kyla."

"It's what I'm around for, which means I get fifty percent of those little brown envelopes," her smile widened.

"Don't think so Kyla, I've already spent it in my brain, nothing left to share."

"Wow, how'd you manage that?" Spencer nudged her side playfully.

"Years of training and skill in shopping trips."

The three of them let out a hefty laughter.

"Aiden and Glen were great tonight, where are they anyway?"

"Stephanie Pryce," both Spencer and Kyla said at the same time.

"I don't even wanna know."

"Trust me, you don't," Spencer slipped her hands into Ashley's intertwining their fingers together. Ashley turned to look at her and smiled. Spencer's eyes told a thousand tales of want and need. Her cheeks flushed a bright red as Ashley's left brow arched up in a questioning motion, they her grin became deviant. They stayed there and stared at each other silently, the moment between them elevated to another time. They were brought back by Kyla's cough, one clearly stating that she was still in the room.

"Hey guys, I'm going to get to bed, Maria will be here tomorrow with the cleaners for this mess so don't worry about it. Spencer are you staying over?"

"I—uuh,"

"Yes." Ashley answered for her

"Yea?"

"Mhm."

"Ok well, goodnight then. Ash, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Oh trust me, I wont."

Ashley closed the door and turned to Spencer who was sitting at the edge of the bed, "I couldn't find my ice-cream Spence, looks like my mom threw it out," she groaned.

"It's ok, come sit with me. I wasn't in the mood for ice-cream anyway."

"Oh? Then why'd you let me go down to the kitchen for then?"

"So I could build up enough courage to do this," and she turned to Ashley who was now sitting beside her, cupping her cheek she kissed her softly, their tongues moving in a rhythmic motion, tasting each other. Spencer had lifted herself off the bed, one knee pressing into the mattress beside Ashley's thigh. Her hands had reached up under Ashley's top caressing the soft skin underneath as soft moans escaped her mouth when Ashley started to attack her neck. All thoughts became incoherent and the only thing that filled the moment was the need to touch and be touched. Ashley was unaware that Spencer had moved until she felt something pressing down on the other side of her thigh, and a light weight lowering down onto her lap. She never stopped kissing her, their movements became more urgent and rushed as Ashley slowly pulled the straps from the blonde's shoulder before lifting it over her head. _Oh merciful Jesus_, Spencer wasn't wearing a bra. The brunette moved her hands to cup the soft weight, causing Spencer to moan at the contact. Her body felt like fire under Ashley's touch and she loved it. The ache between her legs was becoming more incessant and she started to ground herself on Ashley's thighs.

"Easy there cowgirl."

"Ashley, please…I need you." Her voice was raspier than usual, no doubt heavily laden with lust and want, and her blue orbs were the equivalent, they seemed dark and stormy and it drove Ashley insane. Spencer reached forward and started to pull Ashley's top over her head, but her hands were gently held, "tonight is about you Spence, just you."

A disappointed look washed over her face but was soon quelled when Ashley spoke again, "you'll have your time." And with that her lips captured the blonde's breasts, a tongue circling hard rose nubs one by one bringing them to their peak. She bit down causing the blonde to moan, one that was quickly covered by a pair of lips that hungrily claimed hers.

Ashley lifted Spencer as she turned and placed her down on the bed, looking at the half naked woman before her she could only smile, "You're so beautiful."

Ashley reached forward, hovering over the blonde her fingers undid the button and zipper to Spencer's jeans. She motioned for Spencer to left herself slightly so she could pull them off. As Ashley tugged her jeans off Spencer felt fingers caress the sides of her thighs and it made her cream. She threw the pair of jeans over in the corner then started placing kisses on the blonde's thighs. Lifting one leg she trailed wet kisses on Spencer's inner thigh up to where her panties covered, Ashley felt the heat against her cheek and smiled. She moved back up to where Spencer was so she could see her face, brushing blonde strands from blue eyes she spoke, "I want to see your eyes."

Ashley's hand roamed lower, caressing Spencer's outer thigh, going pass her knee then coming back up in one swift motion on her inner thigh, then her hands became hesitant. Spencer lifted her head slightly, looking up at Ashley, "_Please_ Ash."

And the brunette's hand trailed higher, stopping at the entrance she could feel the heat exuding itself even more, she looked at Spencer whose eyes were closed, waiting.

"If I hurt you, tell me and I'll stop,"

As she felt two fingers enter her Spencer gasped and arched her back. Ashley leaned forward kissing her, her tongue sweeping inside Spencer's mouth as her fingers moved in and out of her. A sweep of the brunette's thumb over her clit caused Spencer to arch her body higher off the bed.

Her hips started to move against Ashley's hand.

"More," she gasped as her legs spread wider waiting for Ashley to fulfill her request. The brunette inserted a third finger and picked up the pace, Spencer's hips moved faster, another sweep of Ashley's thumb caused her body to jerk and shudder violently. The brunette loved the feel of Spencer beneath her writhing, her lips trailed from the blonde's collarbone, down to the valley between her breasts, and lower, Spencer moaned when she felt a hot tongue making circles in her navel then moving back up to kiss her breasts, teeth tugging at a hardened nipple. Ashley's pace had picked up even faster as she felt Spencer's hold tighten, a few more sweeps from her thumb then her fingers curled inside the blonde. Spencer shook violently, her hips rising to meet the brunette's hand as her love coated Ashley's hand. Ashley stilled inside her, allowing her to ride out her orgasm. She pulled up and nestled on top of Spencer, her head near her heart listening to its erratic beating.

Her breathing took some time to steady; she felt a pair of lips kissing her forehead and heard whispers of _'I love yous' _in her ears as they were being kissed, a smile plastered on her face,

"That was…,"

"Shh, I know baby."

"I can't wait to show you what I can do."

"You'll get your turn soon enough. Now go to sleep."

"I love you Ashley."

"I love you Spencer."


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

**You Wouldn't Understand**

**Hya guys, how's it going? Hahaha, I'm bad at starting conversation so let me just get through this.**

**To all the reviewers on the last three chapters, you guys are great...now on to the main course.**

**imaferrari: You my friend, are total epicness. I can't really think of another way to describe it, and it's not just about the reviews, you're just entirely Ah-mazing! I was sooo worried you wouldn't approve of 21, when I got the email review I literally froze, I took my pillow and covered my head, then I rolled off the bed, then I hid my eyes slowly reading line by line when I was done I fell off the bed again, haha. I'm very glad you approve. As it relates to Arthur's work with the Davies women, we'll get into that pretty soon, some unraveling needs to happen first though. And no need to worry about Raife, Iliad's got her son under construction, 'closed for repairs', going to get that on eup to speed soon too, but hey, bailing on work to re-read the fic, finding your long lost tattoo pic! I don't think I could be any happier that you found that, I hope you frame it! Thank you.**

**Have fun reading people. I actually wrote the ending, then the middle, then the beginning so uuh, sorry if it's messy.**

**Disclamer!**

She sat at the edge of the bed, her knees huddled up to her chin, looking at the sleeping form that still lay in her bed. Spencer was lying face down into the pillow, her blonde hair lay in a messy array covering her back leaving one tanned shoulder exposed and glowing in the sunlight that was starting to peep through the curtains. The brunette smiled, _when did she get so lucky?_ Last night with Spencer was amazing and thinking about it there was nothing she would have changed. The blonde started to stir and Ashley moved forward so she was lying beside her, propped on one elbow waiting for their eyes to meet.

"Hey,"

Her greeting was met with a simple smile and silence. Blue eyes tore into her own dissolving her resistance brick by brick. Spencer moved her hand down, taking the brunette's in her own she brought it up to her lips and kissed it. The simple gesture made a tinge of pain ring through Ashley's chest. She had never been affected so deeply by anyone and here was Spencer, innocence lying beside her offering an emotion so strong it made the brunette wonder if she had been reborn. There was a sort of sadness to the smile that pitched her lips then, looking over at Spencer, she whispered I love you, the only way she knew how these days to express her gratitude. And they lay there in their comfortable silence taking each other in.

\

The next couple of weeks went by smoothly, with the exception of Lindsey being off of her suspension and making it her point of duty to taunt Spencer. It was only then that it was recognized that there was never an official breakup between the two. Ashley didn't waste any time in fixing that. Lindsey had taken it too far one day stating that Spencer was a '_dyke degenerate_' simply implying that she was even more psychotic to get with the likes of Ashley and how obvious it was that Spencer was just experimenting. That resulted in a locker room brawl, Ashley leaving with cat scratches, a black eye and a suspension, neither of which anyone was happy about. Spencer had cried for her because of it and Ashley had to console her, letting her know that if she didn't stand up for her no one else would've and that the pain of hearing anything other than good about her from someone else's mouth was more damaging than any physical hurt. As sweet as Ashley's words were it didn't stop the blonde from crying harder, the only other option was for Ashley to lay there holding her until she fell asleep.

Christine had finally gotten around to writing the letter to Ashley as Arthur had insisted. Their two month sabbatical was coming to an end and the letter was just the final piece to making it happen. When Ashley received an envelope pushed through under her door she was a bit scared to pick it up. Opening it she thought was one of the best things that could have happened. It opened up Ashley to her mother's fears and initially unexplained reason for the things that she did. She never knew Christine hid so much pain. That hug and long awaited cry between the both of them was their clearing, nothing could possibly go back to the way it was there was too much invested in it for the both of them.

\

"Hey Aiden have you seen Spencer?"

"Uuuh she was over there," pointing to his right.

"Thanks, see you later." She kissed him on the cheek literally dashing off into Spencer's direction. She hadn't seen her all morning and she'd been dying to tell about her weekend with Christine. Her motion slowed as soon as she saw who Spencer was sitting with. She calmly walked over and leaned against the table facing Spencer completely ignoring the other girl,

"Hey Spence, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Ashley," her voice letting of that she was a bit annoyed "Anisa, I'll see you later?"

"Yea, sure. Hi Ashley."

_She must obviously not see that I'm ignoring her_, "Yea, hi."

"What were you doing with her?"

"Talking,"

"Why?"

"We're friends Ashley…that's what they do, talk."

"I've told you before Spencer, and I'll tell you again. That girl does not wanna be _just_ your friend,"

"And I'm telling you again, that's all we'll ever be."

Leaning into the brunette she held her gaze. "You're all I ever want."

"I don't want you talking to her."

Spencer stepped away angrily, "Jesus Ash, what's wrong with you."

"I don't like her Spencer and I don't like the way she looks at you."

"That's a classic. Ashley you never even saw this girl until a couple of months ago, did you not like her before then?"

"I never had a reason to,"

"Oh great."

"It's either she stops looking at you like she's about to jump you or you stop talking to her,"

"Ashley I'm not having this conversation. What did you wanna talk to me about?"

"Forget it, it doesn't matter."

"Ash, stop being like this."

"No it's fine. I'll see you later."

They'd had their first real disagreement, and it was killing Spencer. She didn't intentionally want to make Ashley mad but to her Anisa was just a very bold, cool girl who didn't mind sitting around listening to her talk. Ashley could listen to her talk for hours, there was no problem there, but Anisa was from a small town as well and there were things Spencer would say that she could relate to. Ashley was great in all those areas and there was nothing that she wouldn't do but being with Ashley 24/7 was unhealthy, she was simply just expanding her friend base and unfortunately for Ashley, Anisa was one of them.

The last three periods went by, Ashley wasn't in English and it made Spencer worry.

"Hey Aiden, have you seen Ashley?"

"Yea she went home early, said she wasn't feeling up to the rest of the day."

"Oh." He saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Is everything ok?"

"Y—yea, can you take me over there please?"

"Yea sure."

\

When she walked into Ashley's room, the brunette was sleeping. She walked over to the bed and lay beside her.

"I'm sorry." She stroked her arm, kissing her shoulder as she went. "_God_ if only you knew how much I love you. You're everything to me."

She kissed her forehead and stayed there.

"I didn't like fighting with you."

"Me either baby," Spencer smiled as she looked at Ashley.

"I just don't want you hanging around her."

"Ashley, let's not…"

"Spencer please, just do this for me."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. I hate feeling the way I did earlier and I love you more than I like her."

"You're amazing you know that?"

"Yes," they both burst into a fit of giggles. "So what was it you wanted to tell me earlier?"

Ashley smiled as she sat upright in the middle of the bed, her legs crossed. Her eyes beaming as she started talking.

"Ashley _stop_," Spencer writhed against her, "you're going to leave a mark."

"Is that so bad?" Ashley smiled against her neck.

"When we're at school? _Yes_."

"No one will see, just let me finish." She continued kissing the blonde's neck, grazing the soft flesh with her teeth before licking her path bath up causing soft whimpers from the girl she had backed up against the wall in the janitor's closet. It was Spencer's own fault for getting Ashley riled up before school this morning, thinking she could tease her and get away with it.

She pushed further into the blonde as her hands slid down her torso down to the clip of her jeans.

"Pop," as her fingers flew the button.

"Ashley no, we can't do this here, we're at school."

"If I can kiss you behind the gym and anywhere else on these grounds for that matter then I sure as hell can fuck you behind closed doors. Besides Spence, you know you want to."

Her hands found their goal. Spencer bit into Ashley's shoulder to muffle the screams as the brunette's fingers moved inside her. She managed to hoist the blonde up over her hip as she delved deeper, when Spencer started to move against her hand Ashley pushed faster, "That's it Spence, your almost th—,"

"We have to stop," she felt herself being shoved off.

"Jesus Spence, you're unbelievable."

"Ashley, the bell. I can't be late for class, Taylor will start to get suspicious."

"Who cares?"

"I do."

She looked at the blonde for a minute, bewilderment crust in her eyes, "You're serious aren't you."

"Yea Ash, I am." She was fixing her jeans now.

"You're really not going to let me finish are you."

"Not now, later." She kissed her cheek, "Ash? Class?"

Ashley couldn't do anything else but chuckle, she never knew anyone who would stop so close just to get to class on time, but then again not everyone was Spencer, how could they be.

\

"Ok class, partnered assignments."

Ashley looked over at Spencer, her eyes shining.

"I've already grouped you based off of a number of things. None of which I wish to disclose with you."

"Great," someone said from the back of the class.

"Johnson, you're with Matthew. Sanders and Jameson. Broderick and Henderson. Davies and Lax, Pearson and Jackson, Samantha you will get Abigail and Spencer goes with Anisa."

"No!" Ashley started causing heads to turn in the class.

"Okay Miss Davies now is not the time for outbursts," obviously this man was unaware of the situation. The class resumed and Ashley turned to Spencer, "Tell him to change it. Please Spence, anyone but her."

"I'll talk to him after class." She could see the pained look on Ashley's face. _Fucking great Taylor, just great._

"So what did he say?" Ashley had been waiting eagerly outside the door for Spencer to come out.

"He said no."

"What?"

"No."

"You didn't try hard enough," her voice raised an octave.

"Wh—how is this my fault?"

The brunette walked pass Spencer and into the classroom, "Mr. Taylor please partner Anisa with someone else."

"And why may I ask?"

"Because…"

"Yes?"

"Please Taylor, just do it."

"I'm sorry Ashley but 'because' is not a valid reason."

"Fine, you wanna know the reason? Spencer is my girlfriend. Anisa is bad news, I don't want her caught up with someone like that."

Mr. Taylor's eyes widened at the revelation, "Are you sure this isn't just jealousy Ashley?"

"_Jesus Christ!_ It's everything! You just can't pair them."

"I'm sorry Miss Davies but these groups have been boarded for a long time, changing them would mean shifting a semester's worth of lesson plans, I'm sorry but I can't."

Ashley walked out of the classroom defeated, she was met by Spencer who was standing at the door.

"What happened?" Lifting the brunette's chin with her fingertips, she saw the tears. "Ashley please don't cry."

"Spence it's fine. I'll see you later," kissing the girls cheek, she wiped her eyes and walked away.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

**Yea, I am**

"Ashley, you've been home all weekend locked inside your room. I haven't seen Spencer once and you look like someone ran out and bashed your Les Paul into your windshield."

"I'm fine," the brunette grumbled.

Christine had been watching her for the lat ten minutes shifting the food around her plate with her fork and couldn't sit around silent anymore, "Is something up with you and Spencer?"

"No,"

"Did you two have a fight?"

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it, may I please be excused?"

"No, not until you talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

And there was that stubbornness that Christine was so accustomed to with Raife, she sighed heavily, she wasn't about to push Ashley over the edge, "You're excused."

"Thank you," and Ashley darted from the table.

Christine looked over at Kyla who had been staring at the two in silence since the conversation started, her brow arched.

Throwing her hands up in defense, "What, I don't know anything,"

It was 10:00 PM and Ashley hadn't been out of her room since dinner.

_Knock, knock_ "May I come in?" There was no answer

Christine opened the door and walked in sitting at the edge of the bed she folded her hands in her lap, back turned to Ashley, "Silence means consent."

"You would've come in either way,"

"True,"

A smile touched Ashley's lips, her mother was so persistent.

"Sweetheart what's the matter?"

"I don't know," and that was about as much truth as Ashley could give. Like Spencer had said, she hadn't recognized the girl until she was at her party _with_ Spencer. She didn't like the way Spencer was being looked at or touched, that was pretty much all the reason Ashley needed to not like Anisa, she was crossing unchartered territory. And though not to treat Spencer like a possession, she was hers; heart and soul and Ashley didn't like that being threatened. Maybe it was because of her own hidden insecurities of Anisa being 'secret friends' with Lindsey, she wasn't sure.

"Is it Spencer?"

"No,"

"Then who else could possibly have you this overworked? She's the only person I've ever known to have any sort of effect on you," _very observant_.

"It's her friend/Geography partner."

"Mhm?"

"She's been hitting on Spencer ever since my party and I told Spencer to stay away from her and just as she finally agreed fuc—,"

"Language dear,"

"Just as Spencer agreed to drop her company Taylor had to pair the two of them for the rest of the semester and there's nothing I can do to keep her away from Spencer."

Christine thought for a minute before she spoke, "Do you trust Spencer?"

"Yes,"

"So why worry?"

"Because you and I both know how influential people can be."

"You think Spencer will drop you because of this girl?"

"I'm not afraid she'll leave me, she wouldn't do that. Spencer knows how much I need her, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm scared she'll hurt me. Mom I'd die if she ever did."

"By _hurt_ do you mean cheat?" Ashley didn't answer confirming Christine's statement.

"Do you really think Spencer would do that?"

"Mom, I—I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Please."

"Ok, but I think you should call Spencer, I hate seeing you like this."

Rubbing her legs before she left the room, "I love you Ashley, you know that now. I'm here if you need me," kissing the brunette's forehead she left the room allowing the silence to set in.

What Christine didn't know was that Spencer had been calling, Ashley just wasn't answering, one hundred and twelve missed calls in the three days Ashley had been at home. She had answered one though, the first one.

"_Hey Ash, how have you been? I haven't seen you."_

"_Sorry, I've been avoiding you."_

"_I miss you."_

"_I know. I miss you too. Where are you?"_

"_At the library with Anisa, I'm coming over after we rap this session up," she heard Spencer laugh on the other end of the line; 'Nisa cut it out. _

_What the—'Nisa?_

"_You know Spence, that's not such a good idea I won't be much company, I'm sick."_

"_Well what's wrong?"_

"_Headache, fever pitched."_

"_Well I don't mind, I'll keep you company then, take care of you."_

"_No, that's not necessary. Kyla and my mom are here."_

_Spencer had taken a while to answer and Ashley knew she'd hurt her._

"_Oh, ok well I'll call you later then. I love you."_

"_Yea you too."_

She could've just accepted that Spencer was just genuinely worried about her but why did she feel the need to call her while she was with that girl? Her irrational self was taking control and she didn't like it, she didn't want to drive Spencer away or hurt her, and she knew the slight gestures of staying away had. Ashley pulled her phone from the side table and turned it on dialing the blonde's number. It went straight to voicemail,

_Spence, come over when you get this. I need to see you. I miss you, and I' sorry._

\

"It hurts that you don't trust me."

"It's not you, it's her."

"Inevitably me."

"I'm sorry."

"I hated you avoiding me."

"I know."

"Why did you ever?"

"I don't know, I got scared."

"Ashley?"

"Spencer?"

"I don't just love you; I'm _in_ love with you." Her hands continued to stroke the brunette's hair as her head rested in her lap.

"I know,"

"Then why—"

The brunette sat upright, "Because Spencer I can't deal…"

"With?"

"A lot."

The blonde leaned forward moving her lips against Ashley's in a gentle motion until they were both out of breath, then she pulled back looking into hazed brown eyes.

"Don't worry so much Ash, after this project is through I don't have to interact with her for a next two months. We have one piece left to complete next week."

"Then you're all mine?"

"I've always been all yours," she smirked

"Good."

"Just one thing,"

"What is it?"

"She invited me to Gray for a bit after we finish,"

"And you're going?"

"Well yea, I didn't want to be rude Ash,"

"Spence, you're supposed to stay away from her unless its school related."

"It sort of is,"

"A celebration isn't required,"

Spencer looked away, she didn't want to have to deal with Ashley about this again. The brunette moved forward so she was straddling the blonde. Holding Spencer's face in her hands she searched her eyes, letting out a sigh she kissed her hard as if trying to reassure herself that everything would be ok. Ashley pulled away resting her forehead against Spencer's,

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For being so hard headed and selfish."

The corner of her lips turned up.

"Go, I don't mind. You should go."

"Are you sure?"

It was the hardest question Ashley ever had to answer, "Yea, I am."


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

**The Night That Was**

**You're right imaferrari. A promise IS a promise, I'm writing this and I can't even explain Spencer's reluctance...maybe you could help me out a bit here.**

**I actually wrote this ending before I did the previous two chapters. Thanks for the reviews guys.**

**Here starts the tearing away...**

Spencer had called Ashley as she'd decided she wasn't going to go to the last assignment. Anisa didn't need any help with it either way. The phone rang out about twelve times before she decided to pick up her stuff and go there.

The house was empty, maybe they'll be back soon. She sat in Ashley's room till it started to get dark, no one had shown up yet, she tried calling Ashley again Kyla answered,

"Kyla where's Ashley?"

"_She's just about ending her session with your dad, where are you?"_

"At your house," the blonde groaned.

"_Well we're actually going to stop at Gray's, Ashley said you were gonna be there so why don't you just meet us there?_

"Well I thought I'd just wait here."

"_Spencer, meet us there, save us a table."_

"Ok."

\

She'd been sitting there for over an hour and Ashley and Kyla still weren't there, she'd downed three beers and was going her fourth, now of course she was underage but she got special preference because of Ashley.

"Hey there beautiful, long time no see,"

"Hey Taylor how's it going?"

"Good, it's going good. Where's your girl?"

"That's what I'd like to know," her smile went.

"Since Ash isn't here, does that mean I get a dance?"

Spencer laughed, "Are you playing tonight?"

"Dance with me if I do?"

"I'll dance with you even if you don't"

"Hahaha, tonight's my lucky night then."

In minutes Taylor had Spencer on the floor rocking to the electro version of Cascada's 'Everytime We Touch'. She'd worked up a sweat, had another beer and still Ashley wasn't there yet and added she wasn't picking up her phone.

"Tay, I'm gonna call it a night, it doesn't look like Ashley's going to make it."

"You tried calling?"

"Yea, no answer."

"Oh, well that's a shame, I needed a soloist tonight. Well, thanks for the dance gorgeous I'm in heaven now,"

Spencer smiled, "Glad I could help. See you later."

Just then she felt a tap on her shoulder,

"Got you a drink,"

"Anisa, hey. I really shouldn't be drinking anymore."

"It's not alcohol, she put the bottle up. Water?"

"Thank you."

"So you stood me up tonight."

"Yea well, I had important things to attend to."

"Ashley?"

Spencer bit her bottom lip and stared at the girl.

"Figures. Where is she anyway?"

Spencer didn't answer causing Anisa to scoff.

"Really Spencer, I can feel her insecurities rubbing off on you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'll see you on Monday Anisa,"

The raven haired girl twirled her hands above her head in a gypsy like movement and smiled as she spun "This is my jam!" She danced her way in front of Spencer who was forcing her way through the dance floor that had suddenly become packed.

"Dance with me pretty girl," Anisa shouted over the music dragging Spencer on to the floor twirling her as she went.

"I really have to get going 'Nis,"

"A little dance won't hurt Spencer," she pushed up on the blonde squeezing her hips, drawling her words she whispered in the blonde's ear, "Ashley won't mind."

Spencer was too intoxicated to push her away, she felt funny after drinking the water, not that she didn't try but at the same time the closeness felt so good. Ashley had been brushing her off these past few days, wanting her to stop hanging around Anisa. But Ashley was right, Anisa did want to be more than just friends with Spencer, she'd made that blatantly clear when in study hall when they were prepping for the Geography test.

"_So how are you and Ashley getting along?"_

_Her eyebrow arched, she wasn't expecting that but she answered none the less, "We're good," _

"_Fuck you often enough?"_

"_That is none of your business Anisa," she shrilled off the question, burning on the inside at the girl's bluntness. Ignoring her for the rest of the time Spencer stuck her head back into the text then out of nowhere she heard Anisa speak again._

"_I can do you better,"_

_Spencer's head shot up, "Huh? What are you talking about?"_

"_I. Can. Fuck. You. Better." The smirk on her face was unmistakably mischievous. And her fingers ran over the blonde's hands. Spencer pulled back at the contact, "I'm with Ashley Anisa, you know that. I'm going, see you later."_

But Spencer being Spencer thought she could handle the advances and play it off, she didn't need Ashley getting suspended or bloodied again because of her, she didn't think she could handle it.

And now the girl had her up against a wall in Gray's kneading her flesh and blowing her liquor scented breath down her neck.

"I can't do this, I have to go."

"Just a little bit, I want to show you something." Spencer felt her jean button pop open.

"Anisa stop!" shoving the girl off her she walked out the club, the raven haired girl didn't hesitate in running after her.

"Spencer! I'm sorry ok."

"Don't touch me, I'm going home," she'd caught up to her.

"You're drunk, I'll drive you."

"I'll be fine by myself."

"Don't be stupid, let me drive you."

At that moment the blonde had to stop, her head felt like it was splitting in two and she was spinning.

"So?"

"Fine, but don't touch me," she scowled.

Spencer was leaning against the car while Anisa opened the door.

"It's open," she moved to Spencer putting her lips up to her ear, "did you hear me? It's open."

Her hands moving down to the blonde's waste, Spencer started giggling, "That tickles, stop,"

"You'll be saying something else when I get started," and her hand was in Spencer's jeans then, fingers moving between the blondes folds causing her to moan. Anisa moved her lips to the blonde's neck, kissing a wet path down to the hollow of her throat, moving up to her lips,

"I bet Ashley can't do t—,"

"Spence?" A voice called from the shadows of the parking lot.

Anisa didn't bother to move, she stayed there, waiting for the figure to come into view, her hands still in Spencer's pants but they'd stop moving.

"Spencer what the fuck?"

"Kyla,"

"I guess this is my cue," she pulled away from the blonde and walking pass Kyla she put her fingers in her mouth, sucking lightly then pulled them out, "nothing special," and she waltzed back into the club.

"Spencer what are you doing out here? You know Ashley's been trying to call you?"

"Where is she?"

"In the car."

"I have to go to her,"

"Not like this, fix yourself. And you smell like beer, drink this," tossing her the water bottle that fell to the ground she had to pick it up.

After about 5 minutes she looked decent enough to see Ashley. "Kyla.."

"Don't worry, I won't tell her what I see but she needs to know."

"Hey," a soft smile greeted Spencer when she entered the passenger seat.

"Hey,"

"I was trying to find you so we could talk about earlier but you look tired so I'm going to take you home."

They stood at Spencer's door. Ashley had her hands shoved in her front pocket as she teetered on her heals as if waiting to hear something.

"I love you Ashley," her voice shaking.

Ashley leaned forward kissing Spencer on the cheek, "I know. Goodnight Spence."

Spencer hadn't heard from Ashley that whole weekend, probably because she slept through all of it. She had never had so much to drink so much that it made her nauseous and tired. Monday morning she would be singing a different tune, a sober one.

"Hey beautiful" Spencer said smiling as she took her seat next to Ashley who was surprisingly early for class.

"Hey Spence", a fidgeting Ashley said never taking her eyes from the English text (another shocker as she never took books to class). Spencer's brows furrowed at the sound of Ashley's voice and a concerned look washed her face. Moving her seat closer to Ashley's till they were joined she reached her hand across, rubbing Ashley's back. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Yea, I am." Ashley said, her eyes still scanning the text, her fingers flipping through the pages. Spencer didn't know whether to feel happy that Ashley was seemingly starting to take her work seriously, or hurt at the fact that not once did Ashley look at her since she stepped into the class. A tendril of Ashley's hair fell into her face, which she tried to blow back with a light wind from her lips. Realizing the slight torture, Spencer simply stroked it back, then moving her hand, her fingers drifting down Ashley's cheek, outlining the shape of her jaw. Ashley, feeling the heat under Spencer's touch, let out a sigh…causing heads to turn in the class.

"MISS DAVIES!" fumed Mrs. Berkmar as she turned from the board to face the class. "See me after class," the woman said simply, after collecting her reserve.

"See what you did" Ashley grumbled under her breath still not looking up at Spencer.

"Sorry…I…I, sorry Ashley," and then she hauled her seat back into place.

The hour seemed to go on forever, Spencer kept looking over at Ashley whose eyes never left the pages of the book she held all morning. The bell finally let out and everybody headed for the door, everybody except Ashley that is.

"Ms. Davies, I would appreciate it if there were no more outbursts like that in my class. There is a time and place for everything, and my class is certainly _not _the place for your sexual exhibits."

Cringing at the words coming from the elderly woman's mouth Ashley then spoke, "but I didn't even _do_ anything Mrs. B!"

"No buts Ms. Davies…that is all," her teacher spoke again, a sympathetic smile on her face as she looked up at Ashley.

"Yes ma'am." And she walked out of the class only to hit up into Spencer who was standing at the door. "What is it?" Ashley asked staring down at her feet.

"I'm sorry for getting you in trouble."

"Yea…well…it's no big deal"

"Ash…it _is_, the one time you were actually focused in class I got you in trouble. I'm sorry!"

"Look, Spence…its _not_ a big deal, get over it…I am" Ashley said walking away.

_What was that for?_ She ran after Ashley, following her into the girls locker room.

"Ash, what's with the cold shoulder? You didn't call all weekend and now."

"Nothing,"

"Ashley, I know you well enough to know when something's wrong."

The brunette scoffed.

"What's wrong?"

Ashley was so mad, she felt like she was going to explode, she couldn't take the anxiety anymore.

"Why were you with her?"

"Who?"

"Anisa, why were you with her?"

"She was taking me home,"

"Oh, is that what it's called now? Christ Spencer she had her hand in your pants, _between_ your fucking legs! I saw you!" her voice was starting to rise.

"Ashley,"

"Jesus Christ Spencer, she was fucking you against her car in the middle of the fucking parking lot!"

"Ashley I'm sorry. I told her to stop a—,"

"Well I guess you weren't doing a damn good job of it,"

She stepped closer to the brunette, "Ash, I'm sorry," cupping her cheek.

"Just—just don't Spence," she pulled the blonde's hands from her face. A heavy sigh escaping her mouth she turned to walk away, and then looking back at the blonde who stood there unmoving, "I'll see you later."

_Shit_, she had planned on telling Ashley, but not like this. They had Math and Lunch left before school was out, both unavoidable where Ashley was concerned, she sat next to her in Math and the court was pretty much their alone time, she knew she would have been alone, without Ashley

They sat in silence. Ashley had the key in the ignition for over half an hour, her head hung low and she wasn't speaking. Spencer cautiously reached across, her hand on the brunette's thigh, "Ashley,"

Ashley looked up at her, her eyes filled with tears and red from the ones that had been falling since she entered the car. Sadness stained her face and her lips quivered.

"I told you to stay away from her Spence, _God_ I—I told you."

"I know," she turned away looking out the window trying to find some reasoning that would make Ashley understand, one that didn't sound like utter bullshit.

She turned back pulling the brunette close to her, inhaling her scent. Spencer's water filled blue eyes scanned the brunette's features, how could she hurt someone so beautiful. She reached forward pressing her lips to Ashley's hesitantly, salted tears mixed in their motion. Pulling back she rested her forehead on Ashley's shoulder. "I can't be without you Ashley."

"Let me take you home."


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

**Protecting You**

**You've been through a lot imaferrari, my hats off to you for your enduring strength.**

**I'm surprised at the mixed feelings I got for this chapters, especially from you guys, had a few good points that needed amending, appreciate it guys. Thanks and I hope you like this one.**

Spencer hadn't been to school in three days, Glen had brought in a note saying that she would be out for at least two weeks. Ashley hadn't bothered to call, despite the numerous pleas and requests from everyone, not even Arthur could get her to. Ashley had regressed and stopped communicating with people, she'd stopped talking to her mother and stayed locked in when she wasn't at school.

"Spence, you hungry?"

She groaned and turned in the bed, her face buried in her pillow.

"C'mon baby sis, you've gotta eat something."

"I'm not hungry," barely audible from her lips.

"Water then? Mom says you need to keep hydrated."

"No." Spencer bit her lip as tears rolled down her face, "Why hasn't she called, or come to see me?"

Glen frowned as he ran his hand through his curls, "Spence I really don't know, but you need to stop thinking about Ashley right now, you're sick and you need to focus on getting better,"

In one swift motion she hung her head off the bed and started throwing up on the floor. Glen jumped out of the chair, "Jesus Christ, Spencer…" as he held her hair back,"Mom! Spencer's at it again, mom!"

\

"Take her into the ER, she's hallucinating, her BP is 160/75 and she's badly dehydrated lapsing in and out of consciousness."

"Paula. How long has she been like this?"

"She's only just started to get worse, she's had an upset stomach since Sunday morning, I've had her on some antibiotics since."

Spencer starts groaning, "Mom I don't feel so good," then her entire world goes black.

"I just spoke to Clay, he sends his prayers,"

"Yea," Glen hadn't been speaking much since he heard that Spencer was in the ER, he kept wanting to go in there but they shut him out, now she was in her room, sleeping and he couldn't bring himself to go in there.

"She's going to be ok son," Arthur came into the huddle patting Glen on the back.

"Why hasn't Ashley come to see her?" Chelsea asked annoyed.

"I—I'm not sure," Arthur shook his head.

They all turned to Paula, who was walking down the corridors,

"Arthur I need to talk to you, alone."

As soon as they were a distance away from the kids Paula's eyes watered, "Arthur, we found traces of MDMA in Spencer's blood."

Arthur sighed heavily and rubbed his jaw, "I don't know Paula. I know Spencer; she's way too responsible to slip up like this."

"Responsible or not Arthur, it's there. Where's Ashley, she and I need to have a serious talk."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm not getting at anything. I'm just saying, she hasn't seen or spoken to Spencer in weeks and now our daughter is lying in a hospital bed in an in and out state of consciousness and internal bleeding!"

"This is not Ashley's fault!"

"Then whose is it?"

"_God_, are you hearing yourself Paula? Are you forgetting that you actually _like_ this girl? That we allowed her into our daughter's life because we knew it would be best? You know-you know how much Ashley cares about Spencer, why would she hurt her?"

"I don't know," the frustrated doctor broke down as sobs racked her body.

"Damn-it Ashley, Spencer needs you, why are you being so hard headed?"

There was no answer from the brunette as she sat there still strumming her guitar.

"Fine! I give up!" throwing her hands in the air as she trudged out of the room, "you don't care if she dies, I'll be sure to let her family know."

_Spencer, dying?_

Ashley sprinted off the bed running to Kyla's room, she started banging on the door,

"What do you mean 'if she dies'! What's wrong with her?"

The younger brunette was being spiteful and not answering,

"Jesus Christ Kyla, answer me!"

"Go to the damn hospital and find out yourself!"

"Kyla will you please open the door and talk to me?"

"No!"

Ashley stayed leaning against the door knocking incessantly but to no avail,

"Come on Kyla, just open the door," she almost fell face forward when the door was swung open.

"It's open."

"Look, I'm sorry Ky but—,"

"But what Ashley? She's your girlfriend, you say you love her, why won't you go see her?"

"I do love her," the room fell silent for a millisecond before Kyla started again,

"Well you've been doing a pretty good job of showing it. You haven't called or spoken to her since you confronted her about Anisa. She's been crying day in day out, wondering why you haven't been around. She's sick, she had a taste of E and it messed her up, she's b—,"

"Wait, what?"

"She's sick a—."

"No, not that, you said Spencer tasted E, how?"

"I don't know Ash, the doctors found traces of it in her blood, that why she's been so sick. Throwing up all the time, dehydrated and she's bleeding internally and passing out. She had an overdose."

Ashley's face had a dreaded horror look on it, her eyes burned as her posture became hard and her fists curled. "That bitch, I knew it. I knew, _Jesus_ _why_ didn't I go over there, _why_ didn't I stop it?" Her head lowered as her eyes scanned the carpet of Kyla's floor. Looking back up at her sister with water rimmed eyes she said, "I'm going to the hospital, then we need to talk."

\

Ashley walked pass the receptionist who seemingly didn't care enough to ask who she was in to see. Her eyes quickly scanned the halls to find Arthur, Glen and Chelsea huddled in a group praying. She walked up to the circle and held Arthurs arm, squeezing it.

The older man turned to Ashley his grey eyes soft as he spoke, "We've been waiting for you."

"Where've you been Ashley?" Chelsea asked rightfully upset. Before she could get a chance to talk Glen stopped her,

"I don't wanna hear it."

"Glen don't start,"

"No dad, you don't start," turning to Ashley his anger fuming, "where were you these past few days huh? Do you have any idea how many times I've had to tell her to stop crying because it was obvious that you didn't care? And now you come here wanting to see her?"

"Glen, I'm sorry."

"Well sorry is not good enough Ashley."

"I know, Mr. C, can I see her?"

"Sure you can sweetie, the room on the left,"

"Dad, you're really letting her go in there?"

"Glen, please."

"No, you know what, I'm out."

"Don't pay him any mind Ashley, he's just hurting."

"I don't blame him," she said fiddling her thumbs, "I wouldn't be surprised if Spencer hates me too," her voice barely audible.

"She doesn't, she won't."

Ashley walked into Spencer's room and stood silently taking in the IV stuck in her arm before moving to the bed to sit beside her. She was breathing so easily and seemed so peaceful. The brunette's hand outlined her face, trailing her eyes, nose then brushing her thumb lightly over lips that had crusted a bit, she kissed them softly.

"I'm so sorry Spencer," the pain she felt that stung her chest was indescribable. Hot tears streamed down her face as she rested her head against the blonde's all the while scooting into a position well enough to wrap her arms around the sleeping girl.

"I'm so sorry Spence. I never meant to hurt you. I love you, you know that don't you?"

Ashley started to hum softly into the blonde's ear until she herself lapsed unconsciously.

It was 3 in the morning when Ashley woke up, her arm still slung over the girl's abdomen. By her breathing Ashley could tell she was awake.

"Spence?"

"Hmnh," her eyes kept trained on the ceiling.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better now that you're here."

"Oh," was all she could say, she could never get over just how honest Spencer was especially when it came to her feelings for Ashley.

"I've missed you."

Ashley had no response, she allowed the blonde to keep speaking.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you. I knew she wanted more than friendship. I always did, but I thought I could handle it."

"It's ok. We don't have to worry about that anymore."

"Hmnh, what took you so long? I waited for you."

"I was having an intervention with your dad. I had a really hard time accepting Anisa's presence in your life Spence, you have no idea. I wasn't able to handle myself and I had to prepare myself. I didn't want to hurt you and risk hurting us."

"You did hurt me."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"I was going to tell you—,"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner, why'd you have to wait until I confronted you?"

"I figured that you would think it was my fault…that I wanted it."

In the recesses of her mind Ashley did cross-examine that theory but she would never let Spencer know that's why she hadn't put a beat down Anisa that night outside the club.

"No one would ever want that."

The blonde's eyes watered as she turned and buried her face in Ashley's chest as warm hands soothed her back.

"We need to focus on getting you better. I'm never leaving you alone again, you'll be sick of me," she smiled as she wiped the tears from the blonde's cheeks.

"I don't think that's possible."

"We'll see when you start to cave," she laughed lightly.

"I missed you smiling," she kissed her cheek; "I'm so tired though."

"Shh, sleep. I'm here and I love you."

"Don't ever stop."

She wouldn't, Ashley knew that much. She was too invested in Spencer, her family, her heart and protecting the blonde who now lay beside her sleeping. She slid her phone carefully out her back pocket so as not to wake her,

"_Kyla, do me a favor and tell Aiden I need to see him later, it's important."_

She leaned forward, kissed Spencer's forehead and accepted the silence.


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

**The Healing Process**

**Hellooo there, remember me? Sorry I took so long to update guys...been busy, but I hope this is as good for you to read as it was for me to write it...**

Her index trailed up and down the blonde's arm softly as she sang in her ear, '_you are my sunshine, my only sunshine…you make me happy wh—_' the corners of the brunette's mouth turned up as she saw Spencer's eyes flutter open.

"Hey, how are feeling?" she whispered as her fingers stroked blonde tresses.

Spencer groaned and turned into Ashley, "Better, but tired," she said, burying her head into the girl's neck, breathing in her scent reveling in the sensation of waking up next to the brunette. Ashley now was a 360 degree turn from Ashley a few hours ago, who she'd been over the past few weeks. Her hatred for Spencer's friendship with Anisa put a strain on their relationship and while Spencer couldn't blame Ashley, it didn't excuse the fact that Ashley didn't show the slightest amount of emotion, concern or love but that was forgotten now, Spencer told herself she would forget, When Ashley walked into her hospital room last night with puffy red eyes and wearing the look of regret, Spencer willed herself to forget. Sighing, Spencer kissed the hollow of Ashley's neck making her laugh; pulling back she looked into the brunette's eyes she smiled,

"How did sleep on this without falling off?"

"Didn't you feel me crushing your spine?" she retorted as her finger traced patterns on Spencer's arm.

"Now that you mention it," rubbing her lower back, "I do feel a little sore,"

Ashley's brow wrinkled as she playfully shoved her away.

"I'm kidding," she chuckled lightly, her eyes shining. "I love you," her voice laden with sleep.

Spencer's declaration wasn't new but every time the words were uttered from the blonde's lips it stirred a new set of emotions in the pit of her stomach that she knew she would never get use to. Ashley's only reaction was to smile and pull Spencer closer, her sighs heavily laid as her hands found the bare skin at the back of Spencer's hospital gown she growled,

"No peep shows for the nurses, you're mine."

The blonde blushed furiously as she rolled her eyes turning into Ashley, pressing her back against Ashley's chest, their bodies molded into a perfect shape on the single bed, "Better?"

"Perfect," she whispered kissing the back of her girlfriend's neck, "And for the record Spencer," she put her lips up to her ear, her voice now barely audible, "_I love you too_." Then she felt her arms being pulled tighter around the blonde's waist, Ashley didn't mind.

They were quiet again, sharing the same space without a single uttered syllable. When Ashley bent her head she could see morning beginning to peep through the blinds of the hospital window.

"Spence?"

The corners of her mouth turned upwards at the sound of her name, "Yea Ash,"

"When do you get to leave?"

"My mom said in about two days or so,"

"Oh," her fingers then started another set of patterns on Spencer's arm, "I—I uuh, wanted to take you somewhere," she said nervously, wondering what the response would be. She wasn't expecting Spencer to be easy with her even though it seemed as though she was forgiven.

"Ash…" her voice sounding sympathetic, as if she were deliberating something.

"Yea, sorry. I just—,"

And Spencer caught hold of the brunette's hand, bringing it up to her lips she kissed Ashley's fingertips making her shudder. She squeezed Ashley's hand lightly, "I'll go,"

Spencer's response caught Ashley off guard, "You will?"

"You sound surprised," she shrilled playing with Ashley's fingers.

"Well—I am, sorta…" that was the most, insecure sentence that had ever left Ashley's lips in all her nerve racking moments with Spencer.

"We have to start somewhere don't we?"

"Uh huh,"

The blonde shifted so she was on her back staring at the ceiling, a slight frown appeared on her face as she looked at the concrete ceiling.

"Can we maybe go to the beach Ashley?"

"Why?"

"I miss the stars, and they always shine so much brighter down there. But if you don't want—,"

No it's fine, because that's exactly where I was planning on taking you."

"Yea?"

"Yea." Ashley leaned further into Spencer's side and kissed her cheek, "I have to get going Spence."

"Why?"

"I'm going to see Aiden," a skeptical eyebrow raised at the blonde's statement, "What? He's helping me with some stuff," she shot up in defense as she slid off the bed and stretched, she felt sore and Spencer could see the grimace on her face when she started to rub the side she'd been laying on all night.

"Are you ok Ashley?"

"Yea I'm fine," walking closer to the bed and leaning forward plopping a kiss on the blonde's lips who was now propped on her elbows. "I'll come by later, want me to bring you anything?"

"You…and ice-cream," she said after a second thought. Ashley couldn't help but laugh at the statement.

"Then ice-cream it is," as she rested her head inside the crook of Spencer's neck breathing in as she whined, "I don't wanna leave,"

"Then don't."

"I have to, it's important," she sighed as she thought about the course of action she was going to have to take to fix Spencer's situation.

"Hurry then, the faster you go the sooner you get back."

"Right,' she kissed her again, "I love you."

"Yea, and I want my ice-cream so go,"

Ashley laughed, "I'll see you later."

/

Ashley proceeded to rub her temples as Aiden continued to shout, getting angrier as he paced the floor. She knew he cared but God, you would think that Spencer was his girlfriend and not hers. That was a good thing she supposed, at least now she knew if she weren't to be around for some reason Spencer would be protected.

"Aiden…Aiden…AIDEN!"

His tantrum stopped and he turned to see Ashley with a pillow over her head pinned to her ears. His smile was sympathetic as he walked over to the bed and sat down her rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry, I just…gosh I'm so mad."

"I heard," she grumbled.

"So what are we going t—OUCH! What was that for, I said I was sorry?"

"Now that you're finished, as I was saying I need you to do me a favor."

"And that is?"

"Get under Anisa's skin."

"Meaning?" his tone skeptic.

"I just need you to get some info from her and use _this_ to get it all." Ashley pulled out a voice recorder.

"A pen?"

"No, not just a pen," and she pulled off the cover,

'So what are we going t—OUCH! What was that for, I said I was sorry?'

"Whoa, a spy pen?"

"What I've had it for a while, bought it to record my jam sessions whenever I said something clever."

Aiden shook his head unable to contain his laughter, "Really Ash, a spy pen,"

"Shut up and take it," she said shoving him over so he fell on the bed.

"Alright, I will…geesh. So I'll talk down Anisa and get her to fess up about doping Spencer cool?"

"Right, because she is going to be sorry for what she did," her head fell in her lap and she sighed heavily. "God, I was such an idiot."

"C'mon Ash, it's going to be ok you know."

"Aiden, she could have died, such a small incident and she could have died. The whole time I was being such a bitch because I couldn't handle it. What if I'd lost her?"

"Well you haven't"

"She means the world to me, I think about my life before I knew her and I realize, life _with_ Spencer is the only life I'll ever want."

"Whipped," Aiden whistled as he patted the brunette's leg. "But I know how you feel."

Ashley looked at him curiously.

"I felt the same way about a girl I knew once." His smile widened as he looked at Ashley, she could see his eyes sparkle and her own smile grew then. _Those rare moments when you and your ex share a moment._ Right.

"So, I better get going, my dad's off today and we're heading out on the court so he can 'school' _me_."

Laughing she threw her head back, "It never gets old with you two."

"Well, it's in our nature, being a Dennison only expands male ego," he grinned.

"Don't remind me. Have fun! Tell your dad hi for me."

"Will do," he said tucking the pen inside his sweater pocket grinning. "Send Spencer my love, I'll stop by later to see how she's doing."

"Ok."

Aiden was gone and she was alone again, staring at the ceiling and trying to collect her thoughts. What Anisa did was a criminal offense, and while she didn't have time to waste on this girl she had hurt Spencer. And Ashley had to make sure that Spencer was safe. She'd take Anisa's confession to the police and have the matter dealt with as quietly as possible, she didn't want to have Spencer relive that night, she didn't want herself to relive that night, she stood behind the dumpster and watched as Anisa pressed against Spencer before Kyla showed up. Ashley shut her eyes tightly trying to rid her mind of the images.

_Knock, knock._

"Come in!"

"Hey,"

"Hey mom," her eyes still closed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok."

"Good. How's Spencer?"

"She's been better, but she's ok."

"Kyla told me what happened," she stepped into the room and closed the door leaning against it.

"Yea, well…"

"It's good to have you talking again," Christine said simply before leaving the room.

**What flavor ice-cream did you want baby?**

**Cookies n' Cream?**

**Ok. Gonna stop by the store now, see you in a little bit.**

**:)**

Ashley slid the phone in her pocket walking into the store she knocked into someone,

"Oh, I'm so—," the words caught in her throat when she saw Anisa standing in front of her with a sly smile on her face. It took every restraint that Ashley had not to run her up against the wall and hammer her.

"What's the matter Davies, Spencer's pussy got your tongue?"

"Don't you dare say her name out of your mouth," she felt her fists tightening as her breathing got heavy.

"What are you planning to do about it?"

That was it, Ashley felt her fist connect with Anisa's jaw as the brunette stumbled backwards.

"Watch your mouth next time," and she walked pass the girl who held her face as she wiped her lip checking for blood. A little girl ran up to Ashley,

"Cool, are you a professional boxer?"

"No, that _was_ a pretty good right hook wasn't it," she laughed.

"Definitely,"

"My name's Sarah, what's yours?"

"I'm so sorry," an older woman walked over to Ashley, "she's been asking all sorts of questions since she watched a documentary about unlocking the dead zone."

"How old is she?"

"Seven,"

"Wow, when I was seven…" Ashley trailed off. "It's no problem really," The brunette bent to the little girl and took her hand, "My name's Ashley, nice to meet you."

"Will you teach me how to hit like that?"

"Sarah!" her mother intervened,

"Sorry mommy," she whined as she looked down at her feet, still holding on to Ashley's hands.

The brunette pulled her a little closer smiling; she whispered into the little girl's ear, "If I see you again I'll definitely teach you."

"Thank you!" she smiled and jumped on Ashley giving her a hug.

"You have a lovely daughter,"

She laughed lightly, "I used to think so too, but then she started to talk," the older woman smiled

"My name's Michelle,"

"Well it's nice to meet you. And Sarah too, she said looking down at the little lady."

"Well we better get going, she's late for her piano lessons."

"Piano huh? I play too, but my guitar's my star,"

"I wanted to play but mommy said—mommy said," looking up at her mother, "What did you say mommy?"

"Mommy said your little fingers need training before you can play,"

"Right," she said looking up at Ashley.

The brunette giggled, she just met these two and already she took a liking to them, "Well, I'll teach you sometime, granted I see you again,"

"I hope we do,"

"So do I," her thoughts were genuine. Standing back up, " I have to get going, my girlfriend's waiting for her ice-cream."

"Oh? Well, we won't keep you then."

"See you guys around then," and she shook the older woman's hand, winking at the little girl.

"Bye Ashley!" Sarah jumped up from her seat to wave good bye.

"Bye Sarah,"

\

"Here, sign this sheet," the receptionist handed Ashley the visitor's form eyeing her up and down.

"I didn't have to sign one last night," the brunette challenged.

"Well it's the dawn of a new day,"

"Yea sure, whatever," handing the form back to the receptionist she walked to Spencer's room.

When Ashley got there the door was half ajar, and Paula was standing by the bed. She thought it best to wait until Paula came out but as she stepped back the older blonde turned around.

"Come in Ashley," a smile on her face, "Spencer and I were just talking about you."

"Oh," Ashley was nervous as hell, she knew Paula would have heard about everything and the way she treated Spencer and she had to admit, the woman was intimidating.

"No need to worry dear so that ghastly look can rest easy,"

Ashley had noticed the doctor prepping the syringe then her heart lurched when she saw Paula turn to Spencer with it, "Now this will only sting a little, it should help ease the dizziness."

As the syringe entered Spencer's body and released the fluids it held into the blonde's arm Ashley's stomach felt uneasy. She saw the tinge of pain in Spencer's expression once the syringe was taken out.

"Thanks mom," she said faintly.

"Sure sweetie," kissing her forehead, Paula turned to Ashley giving her an eye, "I'll leave you two alone now."

As soon as Paula was out the door Ashley let out a breath she didn't know she held.

"Tense?"

"Hey," she smiled walking over to the bed.

"Hey yourself,"

Ashley touched the arm where the syringe had just been removed, her fingers lightly splayed across the area.

"Does it hurt?"

She didn't receive an answer so she didn't push it, her eyes looked around the room, something seemed different.

Spencer realized Ashley was inspecting the bed, the brunette looked at her and Spencer confirmed, "Yes, they changed the bed, I asked my mom and they rolled a bigger one in here this morning."

"Aaahh, medical royalty gets special treatment I see."

"I better," she grinned pressing her lips against Ashley's and smiling into the kiss.

"God I missed that," she whispered. "I got your ice-cream."

"Thank you," placing a chaste kiss on the girl's cheek.

"You're welcome,"

Ashley sat on the bed and watched as Spencer dove head on into the carton of ice-cream, a smile plastered on her face as she remembered Spencer's last encounter with ice-cream. It took about fifteen minutes before the blonde looked up from her carton, her faced flushed a bright red as she thought,

"You wanted?" she stretched the carton to the brunette.

"No," Ashley chuckled, "I was just remembering the last time you had ice-cream.

"Oh," the color in her cheeks turned up, "I'm finished now."

"Yea," Ashley stretched the paper towels to her so she could wipe her lips.

"I met the most adorable little girl today," a smile lit her lips as her mind flashed back to the encounter, "Her mom's nice too."

'Oh?" Spencer raised a brow and the brunette quickly caught on.

"C'mon Spence, you know you're the only girl for me."

"Really now?" Spencer challenged.

"Yes," the seriousness in Ashley's voice scared Spencer, she wasn't sure of what to say next.

"Ha! I got you with that one,"

"Ashley! Don't do that," Spencer tackled her unto her back, straddling her she kissed the brunette softly, her lips moving against Ashley's in a heated manner. It took a few seconds for Ashley to catch on but she eventually did, and she held the blonde's face in her hands as she nipped away at her bottom lip begging for access which was instantly granted. Spencer pulled back skimming her nose along Ashley's jaw line before resting her forehead on the brunette's, she whispered. "The only thing that would hurt is if I didn't have you," answering her earlier question, and then she lowered herself unto the girl lying in her arms. After a while she heard Ashley breathe out,

"Well you never have to worry about getting hurt then, you'll always have me."


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 26**

**Wake Me Up Inside**

* * *

"Please pleas please let me push it," his eyes lit up when he saw the nurse bring in the wheelchair.

An exasperating sigh left the brunette's lips as she fiend annoyance, "If you must,"

"Yes! Thank you thank you thank you," his excitement was evident as he took the chair from the nurse who slipped him her number during the exchange.

"She did not just do that," Spencer groaned as she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, she did," Aiden unrolled the paper and waved it in front of the two girls.

"Who knew nurses were attracted to 2yr olds with wheelchair fascination?"

"You're just jealous Ash," he stuck his tongue out.

The brunette scoffed and looked at her girlfriend who was not sitting in the wheelchair, "You ready to go baby?"

"Mhm," the blonde smiled as Ashley walked over to the chair, Spencer's duffle slung over one shoulder she bent to kiss her. Spencer moaned as she felt Ashley's tongue slip pass her sealed lips. The brunette turned to Aiden and licked her lips, "What were you saying about jealous?"

"God your mean."

"You started it," she shoved his shoulder.

"Would you two stop acting like four?"

"Yea, let's go."

As they walked through the halls and got to the receptionist Ashley had to sign Spencer's release form. The blonde watched intently as she the receptionist eyed Ashley and licked her lips. Spencer motioned for Aiden to roll her up to where Ashley was standing which he gladly did, "Baby," she said sheepishly to get the brunette's attention.

"Yea?" Ashley turned to look in Spencer's direction.

"Could you look here for me?" her eyes scanned the receptionist intently.

As she bent to see what it was Spencer wanted her lips were captured in a heated, whirlwind kiss. She felt urgency in Spencer's touch and had to pull back to see what was wrong. Her eyes met shining blue ones with a coy smile her face.

"What was that for?" she asked as her thumb gently stroked Spencer's cheek.

Her only answer was a smile, which Ashley willing gave back, "Just give me a minute let me sign my name and we'll go ok."

Spencer peered over at the receptionist who was now glaring at her. The blonde frowned and had Aiden wheel her out to the car. When they were all strapped in Ashley looked over as Spencer with an arched eyebrow, "I know why you did that,"

"What are you talking about?"

"The receptionist, remember her?"

"Oh, her," she was playing with her thumbs now.

"I wouldn't have though. I'm flattered you felt like you needed to make your point to her."

She reached across taking the blonde's hand in her own, "She's not my type," she smiled leaning across to kiss her.

"Hey, hey, keep it PG back there you two," Aiden said looking through the rear view mirror.

"Shut up and drive Dennison!" looking back at Spencer, "I can't wait to get you home,"

"Really?" her tone curious.

"What? I just wanna spend time with you that's all."

"I know you Ashley, don't think I've forgotten."

"Hey Ashley, Chris said he saw you at Denny's earlier, said you socked Anisa good,"

Ashley cringed at Aiden's sentence; she hadn't wanted Spencer to find out.

"Ash?"

"It's nothing, really,"

"That's not what I heard,"

"Shut up Aiden!"

"Sorry," he kept his eyes trained on the road, silent for the rest of the journey.

"Spence I'm sorry, she said your name and I got so mad," her fists curled naturally. Spencer noticed and rested her hand on it, opening Ashley hands to gain access to her palm which she started rubbing.

"You can't let her get to you."

"I'm not,"

"You did," she sighed.

"I won't let it happen again."

Aiden pulled up to the Carlin house, "You two lovebirds ok back there? Spencer we're home."

"Are you staying with Spencer?"

"Yea,"

"Ok, can I talk to you for a sec? It's about that school project."

"Sure, I'll be in with your bag in a second Spence," she walked the girl up to her house then let her go inside, kissing her on the cheek "I'll only be a minute,"

"So, Chris tells me that they're having a party tonight at Danny's. Anisa's going to be there…should I strike then?"

"As long as you can get her alone, and sober I don't see why not."

"Cool, just thought I'd run that by you,"

"Ye well, I gotta go now, don't want Spencer knowing about this until I'm ready to tell her."

"Are you sure you wanna do that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure you don't want to tell Spencer? She might find out other ways."

Ashley hadn't thought about that, "I know what I'm doing Aiden,"

"Yea well, see you later. Call me if you guys need anything."

Ashley carefully closed the door once she was inside the house, she was startled by the blond who was sitting in the living room behind the shadows.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing important, Let's get you upstairs and in bed."

She saw that Spencer wasn't fazed by her nonchalant response, and walked over to the couch,

"Spence, it really was nothing. I promise you that, now let's go." She pulled the blonde up by her arm and ushered her up the stairs.

\

"Ash will you help me?"

As she sat on the bed going through the contents of Spencer's bag she heard her call from the bathroom. Getting to the bathroom she noticed a naked Spencer sunk all the way down in a tub of water, her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Ashley stood at the door, her throat had gone dry and she swore that if she ever opened her mouth she wasn't going to like whatever came out. She swallowed her gulp audible.

"Are you ok?"

She nodded her response. She'd never been one to be shy around anyone, let alone Spencer but the past few weeks had been so intense it had her one edge around the blonde. It was only now since she had stayed with Spencer in the hospital that things were starting to get calm again.

"I need help with my back Ash,"

"I can do that," she said, sounding as if she were trying to convince herself.

Spencer laughed, "I'm tired and I can't reach,"

"That's understandable," Ashley bent to pick up the sponge as she soaked it and soaped it over Spencer's back. She heard the blonde let out a sigh as the water washed over her back.

"Feel good?"

"Mhm," she nodded as Ashley continued to soap her back, trailing the sponge down to her lower back and up over her shoulders.

"Ash?"

"Hmnh?"

"Can you uuh—," the nervousness in her voice was pretty evident.

"Can I what?"

Spencer's eyes shot open as she felt soft hands cupping her breasts.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," Ashley grinned as she let go and continued to soap Spencer's shoulders. "So what was it you wanted me to do?"

Her hands shook as she reached for Ashley's hand that held the sponge. She guided the brunette's had with the sponge over her left shoulder and down to her breasts, circling the underneath and going back up between the valley then she let the sponge drop into the water. Their eyes burned into each other as Spencer continued to guide Ashley's hand, with her own shaking ones. Her cheeks flushed an infuriating red. She had never been so bold before, but she knew what she wanted. She let Ashley's hand linger on her breast, her thumb brushed over the blonde's nipple causing it to harden with the help of the cool wind that was blowing from Ashley's lips. Spencer's lips parted at the sensation.

"You know you still haven't answered me," her voice was low as she continued to brush her thumb over the nipple. Spencer smiled and held Ashley's hand, looking her intently in the eye, Ashley had only just now realized the darker shade they had become since they started. She let Spencer drag her hand over her stomach and down into the water, guiding the brunette's hand over her mound. They both shuddered at the contact as fingers slipped into a wanton body and started moving slowly against it.

"Can you do _that_?" her breath hitched as Ashley's fingers roved deeper.

She raised herself up and held the brunette's neck pulling her body down closer, she kissed her lips for the first time, sharp intakes affected her as Ashley's thumb now flickered elsewhere.

"Get in," she said breathlessly, "I—I want you to get in."

Spencer brought her hand up slowly and proceeded to raise Ashley's top bunching it up above her breasts then pulling it over her head, the shirt slid down her arm which was still in the water. Her hands went back up to unclasp the bras Ashley was wearing, "Get in," she tugged at the brunette a little harder as she kissed her. Ashley complied by getting into the tub half dressed and hovering over the beautiful blonde, her fingers till buried deep inside her. Spencer eased the brunette's hand out of her and did a 360 so now she was on top. Her lips trailed hot kisses down Ashley's neck and down to her breasts.

"You're so beautiful," she rasped and took the soft weight into her mouth making the girl beneath her moan. Spencer didn't waste anytime pulling off the jeans that hindered her access,

"I thought you were tired,"

"I was," she kissed her neck, biting her way up to the brunette's ear.

Her hands started to shake again as they washed over Ashley's abdomen and drifter lower, and for the umpteenth time in that moment, their gazes locked.

"Will you show me—,"

Ashley understood, and held the blonde's hand firmly under her own, guiding it down as she separated two fingers from the rest. Spencer's gaze flickered down into the water then back up to Ashley's. The brunette's free hand came up and pulled Spencer down to her kissing her firmly, with reassurance, "There's no possible way…you could be bad at it,"

Spencer felt her cheeks get hot again.

"I love you Spencer, trust me."

That seemed to be all the reassurance the blonde needed, her hand had left the safe haven of Ashley's and the next thing the brunette knew Spencer was hilt deep inside her moving at a pace that made her body shudder violently. Spencer's probing had her arching upward, pushing forward, her breathing became labored. The blonde liked the sounds that she was achieving from Ashley; she seemed to be doing something right. Her thumb came forward, sweeping over the brunette's hardened nub making her jerk,

"Jesus Spencer, are you sure you've never done this before,"

Spencer leaned down kissing her, her wet body slid against Ashley's as she lowered herself and her fingers curled inside the girl. She felt her tighten around her fingers and knew she must have been close. Her fingers picked up a rhythmic pace that was guided by Ashley's hips. Spencer's fingers curled again as Ashley bit her shoulder to muffle the screams that escaped her mouth. She held the blonde tightly as she shook and her breathing escaped unevenly.

Spencer reached forward and tucked a strand behind Ashley's ear before kissing her cheek,

"I made you scream," she whispered softly. The victory she'd claimed evident in her tone.

"So you did," her hands rubbed over Spencer's back.

"We need to get you to bed Spence,"

"Not now, let's stay…here,"

Ashley chuckled, "As much as I'd like to we'll be pruned by morning."

She eased from under Spencer and stood out of the tub for a good six minutes before moving, she didn't trust her legs. Spencer had really worked a number on her. She grabbed a towel and dried herself before slipping into her supersized t-shirt she bought solely for the purpose of being too overworked to get dressed.

She helped Spencer out of the tub and once she had her standing, she wrapped her in a towel and lifted her, taking her to the bed. Sleep was evident in the girl's posture. Ashley slowly dried and dressed her girlfriend, taking pride in the simple activity. Once Spencer was safely tucked in Ashley lay beside her, listening to her breath and watching the rise and fall of her chest, and as sleep threatened to claim her as well her phone buzzed,

"What,"

"_I've got it,"_

"Aiden can we do this tomorrow? I'm beat…"

"_Fine, cya."_


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

**Forever If Possible**

**Pretty short chapter but I had to give you guys something! Especially since I realized you guys appreciate the sweet moments .**

**Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter guys, really glad you liked it...**

Spencer woke up to find Ashley at the edge of the bed staring down at the floor. As she stretched up Ashley turned to see her stir, her smile wide,

"Hey,"

"Are you ok?"

"Perfect," her thoughts flashing back to last night. A wicked grin appearing as the blonde motioned towards her.

Spencer had crawled up to her and was now kneeling behind her, placing kisses on the brunette's neck, shoulder and back, "Yea?"

"Mhm, you need to stop doing that Spence," she let out a breathy sigh.

"Why?"

"Because its morning, we're at your house and as much as your parents like me I'd rather not have them hear us while w—,"

"_Us?_ As I recall," her smile was sly as her hands reached down and slipped under Ashley's tank top, "_you_, were the one making all the noise last night."

"Oh, so you're boss now huh?"

"Yes," she responded without hesitation, "and that means you have to do whatever I say," she said finally sitting beside the brunette.

Ashley thought Spencer to be pretty cute when she was being 'bossy' so indulging her wasn't an issue, she smiled her thousand watt smile and responded, "Ok, so what would you like me to do?"

Spencer shuffled closer to the brunette and rested her head on Ashley's shoulder taking the girl's hand in her own, "Stay,"

"What do you mean?"

"I want us to stay like this, forever if it's possible…together," Spencer had never felt anything remotely close for anyone what she felt for the girl who was now sitting beside her, it had been while she was sick that she kept having recurring nightmare's about Ashley being gone and it had broken her indescribably. Spencer was convinced then that she couldn't be without the brunette.

"Forever huh," her voice sounding as though she was taking all this in, "Are you sure?"

Spencer used her index to turn Ashley's face towards her, staring at her intently she spoke,

"I've never been more, sure about anything else in my life Ashley, not even things that have been right before me. When we weren't speaking, there was an undeniable ache in my chest that just wouldn't go away until you came back. I love you so much it scares me," her smile widened as she chuckled, "I've been chasing you around since the first time we met remember?"

"And this is what you want…" her eyes watching Spencer's lips as they moved.

"Yes."

By this time Ashley's eyes had welled with tears that had only just now started to fall. Spencer's admonition had her weak. She still couldn't come to grips with the fact that she was being loved simply out of pure want and not obligation. She was eighteen and she felt like she had lived a thousand years and loved a thousand times, she knew that what she and Spencer had, most people wouldn't achieve in a lifetime. As the tears continued to flow warm hands had reached her cheeks wiping away the wetness.

"Don't cry. I loved you first, remember?"

A soft chuckle escaped the girl, followed by a nod. "Forever it is," she smiled.

"Good."

"Spence?"

"Hmnh?"

"There's something I have to tell you," her tone scared

"What is it?"

"Remember when you wanted to know what me and Aiden were discussing?"

"Yea…"

"Well, I'd given him a recorder o get a confession out of Anisa so we could take up the matter legally,"

There was silence in the room.

"Ash…"

"Before you go any further, I know you wouldn't have wanted to deal with that so I was going to have my mom and your dad help me settle it out of court. Aiden called me last night…he got the confession."

"Ashley," she sounded tired.

"Spencer I couldn't just let her get away with what she did to you, and it was my own fault, I wanted to fix this. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Her eyes had dropped back to the floor.

"Ashley, you don't have to do that,"

"I need to. I need to know that I can protect you."

"You can't all the time,"

"Spencer, please." She could see the hurt and Ashley's eyes and felt how much it meant to her. She brought the brunettes eyes back up to her own so she had a clear view, a if she was trying to read through to her soul, know what she was thinking. Spencer pulled Ashley's face closer to her in the gentlest way and kissed her. They stayed like that for a moment, lips connected, hearts as one, stilling their movements their lips moved against each other in unison. Ashley countered every sweep, tug, nip and pull as she knew what Spencer was trying to convey, how she wanted to kiss her and be kissed. They pulled apart only slightly, staring into each other's eyes,

"Promise me you'll be careful."

The brunette's smile was uncontained, "I promise," placing a chaste kiss on Spencer's lips.

"Now that that's all clear, breakfast?"

Ashley laughed.

"You read my mind."

\


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER 29**

**This You Is Perfect**

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews, you've all been amazing. your review on 25 had me rolling, just got around to seeing it, thanks a lot!**

**Hope you guys like this one**

'_So I drugged the slut, big deal. Ashley had it coming anyway. If you can't beat it, destroy it you know the motto,' her grin was sly as she threw her head back and laughed deviously._

'_So how was it?'_

'_Like I told her friend, 'nothing special' then again…I would like to try again, maybe I'll double up this time so she stays put' her eyes sparkled._

Ashley's eyes burned as she listened to the recording. She got up and walked out into the night air in attempts to get her head straight. She ended up behind the gym at King where she and Spencer had spent most of their time. She sat on the branch staring over at the spot where bubbles was laid to rest a few months prior, Ashley had the most over whelming desire to talk to the rodent's spirit. She licked her lips that had become dry from the cool air and opened her mouth to speak.

"This is so weird," she scoffed and shook her head, "I failed her so much you know and I know-I know I can't protect her all the time but God—I can't do this anymore, I can't,"

She ran her hands through her curls as she jumped off the branch and started her way back to Spencer's running breathlessly, never stopping till she was at the blonde's door breathing heavily as she bent with her hands on her knees in attempts to catch her breath.

"Night Spencer, see you t—Ashley?" Aiden stood still staring at the heaving brunette with Spencer behind him prying over his shoulder.

"Y—you're going already?" she choked out

"Yea, my mom's got this thing, plus it's late and you know how she gets sometimes."

Between her walk to King and her run back, Ashley hadn't realized how much time had actually passed, she looked up at Aiden, finding her footing, "Bring it tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, I'm not letting this bad boy out of my sight. I'll see you guys later?" he turned looking back at Spencer who gave him a warm smile. Stepping down he held Ashley as if he were trying to steady her then he leaned forward and whispered so only she could hear,

"_Spencer accidentally heard the confession and started crying. Don't worry though, I covered for you, so you should be good."_

"Thanks Aiden," by this her breathing had regulated. She looked over at Spencer whose face was expressionless as her eyes pierced the brunette's. They stood the distance staring at each other. When they heard Aiden's car from half a block down Spencer stepped down to Ashley cradling her face in her hands. She brought her nose up to Ashley's cheek, skimming the contours of her face and when she was satisfied her forehead found refuge against Ashley's. Ashley's breathing had escalated again; Spencer brought a hand down resting it on Ashley's chest calming her,

"Easy," she whispered kissing her cheek.

Ashley chuckled, "Being with you is never easy,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spencer frowned.

"It's nothing bad, just that it's not easy to _not_ get excited when I'm around you, you know."

A huge grin flashed across her face when she heard this, "I know what you mean."

"Spence?"

"Hmnh?"

"You trust me right?"

"With my life," she breathed out.

"Good." After a moment lapsed, "I'm going to the police tomorrow to report Anisa, _with_ the confession,"

"I'll come with you."

"Are you sure?"

Her question was answered with soft lips moving against hers in a carefree moment. It was surprising how even amidst all the shit they had to be facing Spencer was always able to make Ashley forget. She kissed her back forcefully, pressing her fingertips feverishly into the blonde's shoulders as her mouth drifted down to the hollow of her neck sucking hard at the flesh there. Spencer took a sharp breath when she felt Ashley's teeth and tongue working on her neck. The sensation was amazing but it felt…different. Spencer lifted the brunette's head gently and looked into her eyes, she saw tears starting to well up and her brow arched in question. They stood there silently, eyes piercing into each other the air stilled around them,

"I'm scared Spence," the first tear had fallen and more threatened to come.

"Don't. You don't need to be," her thumb caressing the brunette's cheek wiping away the tears in the process. "Why though?"

She rested her head on the girl's shoulder, "I don't know," but she did, she just couldn't say it.

"Look, Ash I'm fine see?" she step back presenting herself, "I know you'd never let anything bad happen but you can't always be there to protect me,"

"Don't say that," the brunette deadpanned.

Spencer was getting frustrated, "But it's true, you need to accept that."

"I won't"

"You need to."

"It's hard to accept Spence, I almost got you—oh God, I can't even say it,"

"Baby…"

"It won't happen again," she held on to Spencer then, holding her so closely her breath stopped for a second.

"You're impossible you know that?" she chuckled, "seeing you all those months ago I would have never guessed _this_ is the person I would be head over heels in love with"

"It's your own fault," Ashley wiped her eyes smiling,

"I don't mind, _this_ you is real, _this_ you is perfect."

"Join me for dinner tomorrow?"

"Why I would love to," she watched as the brunette kissed her inner wrist and smiled.

Spencer didn't think life could get any better than that moment.

\

'_Like I told her friend, 'nothing special' then again…I would like to try again, maybe I'll double up this time so she stays put' her eyes sparkled._

"Thank you Aiden, you've been a great help." He looked over at Ashley as he ran his hands through his hair, "You ready?"

She sighed, "As ready as I'll ever be Mr. C"

"Ok, your mom says she'll meet us there so we better get going."

"Later Aiden. Thanks." She kissed his cheek and went out to the car.

The drive to the station was narrowing, she looked out the window teetering, Arthur noticed the fidget and reached across to rub her shoulder, "It'll be fine Ash, we just drop this off and the rest will take care of itself…no court…no drama."

She shook her head, "Ok."

"I don't know if I ever said this before but I'm really glad Spencer has you."

The brunette smiled, it quickly faded as they pulled into the parking lot of the police department.

There was a native dressed in khaki slacks, a polo shirt and aviators waiting to meet them.

"Hey Tim," Arthur went over shaking the mans hand, "This is Ashley, the one I've been telling you about,"

"Hey Ashley," he took the girl's hand "Your mother I think? Is inside waiting, we just need a quick documentation."

"Ok," and she followed the two men inside.

\

"So sign here, and here. Thank you Ashley, you're free to go."

"Thanks chief."

"It was my pleasure; you're helping us do our job keeping the streets clean."

Ashley smiled at this.

"Thanks Tim, much appreciated."

"No problem Arthur, we should catch up some time, throw the old ball around,"

"Sounds like a plan,"

The man turned to Christine, "It was a pleasure meeting you Mrs. Davies, you take care now."

Clear admiration was evident in his voice, it made the woman blush. Taking his hand, "It was nice meeting you too Tim, and thank you."

"That went well," Arthur said as they all stepped outside into the daylight.

"I suppose so," catching her hair up in a loose ponytail, "mom can you drive with Mr. C, I need to borrow your car,"

"Well I had a meeting to—,"

"Don't worry about it, I'll take you."

"Alright," she took the keys out her purse and dangled them in front of her daughter's face "Have it back by 9:00…no sleeping over at Spencer's with my car, God knows what you do with yourself when you're with that girl, you seem to forget everything." The statement caused heat to rush up Ashley's cheek and Arthur to clear his throat as he turned away.

"I won't, thanks." She snatched the keys and headed for the car muttering something under her breath.

"I love you too dear," Christine yelled out as Ashley entered the car.

"Bye mom!"

Arthur only laughed at the site, slight Spencer and Paula reenactment.

"You ready to go?"

"I suppose so," she sighed as she followed him to the car.


	30. Chapter 30

**Ok so uum I was a little excited writing this and then I hit my head and dozed for about 5 hours, then by the time I woke up it was time for work! So I figured...I won't finish in time, so I'm posting what I have, some is better than none right? Riiight...**

**mb168: Thank you!**

**SoNfan1604, your review made me smile, made about 10 out of the 24hrs of my day, you rock! and I'm glad you like the story.**

**...epic awesomeness, your name was missing in the last mention, idk how that happened 0.O, my bad**

**imaferrari! need I say more, I'm happy you're back...it's not even about the reviews but I just missed your presence, and all the awesomeness it brings, and you can digress all you want, (half smile at the thought of your rant)...it was nice.**

**This chapter isn't much but I hope you're not disappointed...**

**CHAPTER 30**

**My Heart Is Yours**

They'd been lying on the beach for about four hours, Spencer wanted to see the sun set and count the stars and Ashley was more than happy to oblige her, she had all she'd ever need in her arms.

"Are you hungry yet?" Ashley asked digging her feet further into the sand.

She shook her head in response, 'no'.

"Are you ok?"

"Uh huh,"

"Oh," the brunette looked away resting her chin on her knees.

"Will you play me another song?"

Ashley looked back in Spencer's direction, "Any suggestions?"

"Not particularly," she thought for a moment, "You know how they always say, you can tell what kind of mood a person is in by the type of song they're listening to?"

The brunette raised an eyebrow, "Yea?"

"Well, I want you to play how _you_ feel right now, you've been quiet for the longest while now."

"Spence…" her voice held up in protest, but her eyes softened as she was being handed the guitar by the blonde whose eyes were shining, something behind them untold.

"I'll play," she whispered, "but you have to promise not to laugh,"

"At what? You or the song?"

"Spencer!"

"I was only joking," she laughed as she swatted in front of the brunette her grin wide. "I won't laugh…_promise_." She whispered

Ashley tapered with the bass a bit as she thought of what to play, there were so many things running through her mind, then she looked across at Spencer, the moonlight hitting her face so perfectly and then it came to her.

_There is something that I see_

_In the way you look at me_

_There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes_

_But an unexpected way_

_On this unexpected day_

_Could it mean this is where I belong_

_It is you I have loved all along__…_

She looked up at Spencer who had a half smile planted on her lips and smiled back before staring

back down at her fingers playing.

_It's no more mystery_

_It is finally clear to me_

_You're the home my heart searched for so long_

_And it is you I have loved all along__._

_There were times I ran to hide_

_Afraid to show the other side_

_Alone in the night without you_

_But now I know just who you are_

_And I know you hold my heart_

_Finally this is where I belong_

_It is you I have loved all along_

_It's no more mystery_

_It is finally clear to me_

_You're the home my heart searched for so long_

_And it is you I have loved all along_

_Over and over_

_I'm filled with emotion_

_Your love, it rushes through my veins_

_And I am filled_

_With the sweetest devotion_

_As I, I look into your perfect face_

_It's no more mystery_

_It is finally clear to me_

_You're the home my heart searched for so long_

_And it is you I have loved_

_It is you I have loved_

_It is you I have loved all along_

And as she strummed the last chord she looked up at Spencer for the third time in that moment, "That, is how I feel," her blush was evident as the blonde kept smiling at her.

"You are too sweet you know that?" moving forward to cup Ashley cheeks, she couldn't stop smiling. "I love you Ashley Davies."

The brunette moved her face against the warm hands that held it before looking at the girl before her.

"Are you hungry yet?"

Spencer laughed, "Ice-cream?"

Ashley's eyes widened, "honestly Spencer?"

The blonde nodded, "Honestly Ashley."

Ashley motioned backwards and rubbed the back of her head, "You sure are taking this ice-cream thing to anther level, didn't you just have one before we came out here?"

"That was forever ago Ashley!"

"Oh,"

Spencer got up and pulled the girl to her feet, taking the guitar from around her body Spencer lightly put it on the blanket and pulled Ashley into her, "Just this once…no more after," and she kissed the brunette's ear making the girl moan.

"Ice-cream it is then," you could hear the shrill of happiness in her voice.

\

As they sat there in the corner booth of the parlor, Spencer kept looking across the room. There was a blonde staring at Ashley with peculiar eyes and the looks didn't go unnoticed by Spencer.

"Huh? What did you just say," she'd far drifted in trying to figure out why her girlfriend was being stared at she hadn't hear a word the brunette said.

"Spence, are you ok?"

"Yea, I am," she dipped her spoon into her sundae.

Her head shot up only a few minutes later when she heard the woman shout, "Sarah come back here!" Spencer saw a little girl dart across the room, pushing empty chairs out of the way heading straight for her booth.

"Ashley!"

The brunette's head turned to see the little girl she had met a week ago and her smile broadened as memories of the encounter flashed through her mind.

"Hey Sarah,"

The young blonde jumped onto the seat and hugged Ashley tightly around the waste, "Where have you been?"

"Around," the brunette chuckled, "Where's your m—,"

Spencer saw the blonde come over, "Hey Ashley,"

"Michelle," she looked up at the older blonde.

"I'm so sorry, she's been dying to get over here since she saw it was you,"

"Don't worry about it. It's good to see you two." Looking back across from her, she gestured to Spencer, "This is my girlfriend Spencer, Spencer this is the little girl I was telling you about, and her mom."

"Nice to meet you,"

"Likewise," both women shook hands,

"We should really get out of your way now. C'mon S—,"

"Sit with us," Spencer blurted out, "We could use the company."

Ashley looked across at Spencer with uncertain eyes, but her fears were quelled when she felt Spencer's hand cover hers in the center of the table.

"Look what I have Sarah," pulling her guitar from the corner,

"Wicked! Can I play? Mommy please can I play?"

"Yea mommy, please can she play?" Ashley whined with her undeniably cute pout.

"Sure," she chuckled as she looked over at Spencer.

"Yes!" the little girl's smile was uncontained as Ashley handed her the guitar and held it in her hands.

"Turn it like this…so this is G…"

Spencer and Michelle had ensued in a conversation and the more Spencer got to know about the older blonde she didn't hate her anymore for staring at Ashley, it was purely innocent.

By the end of their evening Ashley had Sarah strumming the chorus to her favorite song.

"See mommy, I can play now," with a few mistakes hidden, it went pretty well, "Thanks Ashley!"

"Anytime sweetie."

"Let's go now sweetie, remember you're sleeping at your dad's tonight."

"I know," she bounced off the seat, sidestepping to her mother.

"Thank you for having us Spencer, see you two around?"

"Definitely, Ashley ushered in.

"It was my pleasure."

As Sarah and Michelle walked hand in hand Ashley could hear the little girl talking, "Do you think daddy will let me teach him how to play guitar?" she couldn't help but laughed, she saw so much of Sarah in herself as a younger child it was ridiculous.

\

They lay there on the floor of Spencer's room in silence. That's how it mostly started, quiet and then it would slowly escalate.

"Thank you for what you did today,"

"I was happy to, that little girl really looks up to you."

"Yea, it's so weird though you know,"

"Well you'll be a great mentor baby," she rolled on top of her and kissed her cheek.

"Yea?"

"Yea." She kissed her nose and made it crinkle before resting her head on the brunette's chest, "My favorite sound."

"What's that?" Ashley asked

"Your heart," her hands roamed wherever they could find in a slow tentative motion.

"It's yours. My heart is yours Spence."

"And the rest of you?"

"I haven't decided yet," she laughed as the blonde playfully swatted her stomach.

"I was only kidding, it's yours."

"All of it?"

"All of it."

"Good. Now I can have my way with you," she moved so she was straddling the brunette, "Don't move."

"No chance of that happening," her grin was wicked as she felt cool air on her body from where her shirt had ridden up.

"Good."


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER 31**

**Hey There Rockstar**

**Sorry for the delay guys, just slowly rapping up, then there's school...work...and those other factors. Anyhow, hope you readers enjoy this one. And you guys who take the time out to review, much appreciated.**

"That, was amazing," she rolled on her side trying to catch her breath.

"You were amazing," Spencer whispered as she moved closer to Ashley.

The brunette chuckled, "Who knew my beautiful baby was such a rodeo," the amusement in her voice very evident.

"Ashley! Shh!" by this her cheeks had gone crimson red; she took the pillow and hit the brunette beside her. Ashley was dying with laughter at Spencer's embarrassment. She hopped up and was over the blonde in seconds straddling her, looking intently into her eyes she lifted the blonde's hand and kissed it, rubbing her cheek against it.

"Don't be embarrassed, what we just shared was beautiful," she thought for a second, "as is all the time we spend together."

The blonde shifted beneath her, "It was wasn't it…" her hand had left Ashley's cheek and was now kneading the soft weight that was before her. A sly smile touched the brunette's lips, "It was."

\

"Jesus Christ Rodney, watch where you're going!" Kyla yelled as she bent to pick her books up off the floor,"

"I—I—I'm," catching his breath, "I'm sorry Kyla, Aiden sent me to come find you."

"Why?" her brows arched in suspicion.

He looked her squarely in the face as he adjusted his Buddy Holly glasses with lenses that were too thick for any purpose. "The cops are in the quad, they have Anisa, but he can't find Ashley," he adjusted his pocket protector and brushed his hands over his flannel shirt straightening himself.

Kyla slapped her books down in Rodney's hands, "Take these to my class? Thank you!" she pecked his cheek and ran down the hall before shooting left and hitting behind the gym where she found Spencer and her sister in a heated lip lock, Ashley's hand's under Spencer's shirt.

"Honestly guys?"

Spencer jumped back so fast the brunette before her almost fell off the branch she was sitting on if it weren't for the upper branch Ashley's ass would have definitely needed ice later. Spencer lunged out and held on to her girlfriend's arm, helping to steady her on the branch once again, "I'm sorry baby," she whispered as she kissed her temple.

"It's ok," looking over at Kyla, "So to what do I owe the interruption?"

"Aiden…well Anisa."

"What about her," the girls said together.

"Cop's are here, they apparently have her in chains or whatever, Aiden thought you should be there."

Brown eyes stared into blue ones that slowly started to get misty.

"Ash," her voice barely a whisper.

"We don't have to Spence," secretly wishing in her heart that Spencer was strong enough to get over to the quad. She was a little surprised when Spencer pulled her off the branch, "Come."

"Are you sure?"

She felt Spencer's clasp on her fingers tighten in response.

As they made the short trip to the quad Kyla kept talking, a slight attempt at keeping Spencer's nerves, she knew how much of a deal this was for the blonde.

"So I was thinking that after this we could get some Mickey D's and then we can go down to th—," her speech cut when she saw Anisa tugging from the female officer that held her arms which were cuffed behind her back.

"Chains you said Kyla," Ashley smirked as she moved closer to stand by her sister.

The students surrounded the quad and stared in awe, most wondering what she did for the police to be involved. Spencer stood at the exit into the halls where they had to pass in order to get to the main gates, assuming that's where the cops had parked. As they moved closer Ashley could sense the fear that awoke in the blonde and pulled her into her as she held her waist and whispered into her ear, "I'm here." Anisa looked over at the couple as she was being lead out of the school,

"Bitch," she spat as she rolled her eyes at the two. Her words were countered by a rough bark from the officer behind her,

"Shut your mouth girl, you'll be seeing a lot of those where you're going."

In truth she was headed to juvenile hall for the next four months till her 18th birthday then she'd have to face trial, _then_ Spencer would have to go to court. Ashley wouldn't let her worry about it until then.

"Let's leave," she felt her cheek being kissed. Spencer wiped her eyes; tears had absently been falling as memories of the night flashed back to her. Being drugged was the least of it, thinking back to how hurt and betrayed Ashley felt was the only thing that played on her mind, the only thing that made her feel weak and dirty.

"Oh guys, I can't come. I forgot I left my books with Rodney and I sorta have Mr. Purdy's class now, you know how he gets."

"That's cool, I was just going to take Spencer home anyway," and with that Kyla was gone.

"Can I stay with you?"

"I'll be there until you're parents get home."

"No," she licked her lips, "I meant…can I stay at your house instead."

"Sure, I don't see why not."

As they were turning to head over to the parking lot Aiden shouted out, "Ladies!"

"_So_, how are you two doing?"

"We're ok," Ashley answered as she rubbed Spencer's shoulder.

"And Spence?" he ducked his head to get a response. He was taken aback when he felt arms thrown around his neck as he was pulled down into a loving embrace.

"Thank you," the blonde whispered as she held on to him. Aiden's hand reached around and soothed her back,

"Anytime Spence,"

She pulled away and kissed his cheek then stepped back smiling as she saw the grin that had plastered his face.

"See you guys later?"

"If by later you mean tomorrow then definitely," the brunette perked up.

"Plans?" he questioned.

"Not really. No actually, we just won't be available till tomorrow."

"Oh," Aiden wasn't sure he knew what that meant, but he had an idea, and Spencer's heightened cheek color was giving away the later.

Ashley saw the reaction and nudged the blonde who sputtered a cough at the contact.

"I'll see you two ladies tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow it is."

\

The drive to Ashley's was quiet and neither of them desired to have it any other way.

Stepping into the house Ashley saw a note on the light switch, _well this is awkward_, she read it,

'_Dress nicely, we're expecting a visitor.'_

"What is that?"

"My mom says we're having visitors."

"Oh, I guess I should go home then,"

"Not a chance. We'll be in my room, away from the rest of the world, let the visitors entertain themselves,"

Spencer smiled at the gesture, "That's sweet Ash but I don't want to intrude."

"You were here first," she said simply as her phone buzzed.

"Mom?"

…

"Yea, just read it,"

…

"Spencer's with me"

…

"Figured as much."

…

"I love you too, later."

"You're with me tonight," her eyes sparkled as she lead the blonde up the stairs to her room.

\

"Ashley can we stop _please_, I'm no good at this,"

"What, you're doing great…just one more."

"I really don't want to Ash,"

"One more strum Spence…for me?

Spencer strummed 'E' and put the guitar at the side, "Happy"

"Not really," her lips pouted as she folded her arms like a 2yr old causing Spencer to laugh.

The blonde brushed a few strands of hair from the brunette's face then kissed her.

"And _now_?"

"_Now_, I'm very happy."

"Oh yea?" she kissed her again

"Yea."

Their breaths mingled as foreheads rested together, the silence overwhelming them again before Ashley spoke,

"Shower?"

"Sounds good."

"Together?"

"Sounds perfect, but not tonight Ash. I'm tired."

She pecked the girl's lips, "I know. You go first, and then I'll go."

Spencer had been in the bathroom a while, she'd forgotten her toothbrush and couldn't find the spare Ashley had given her last time.

"Ash!" she bellowed from the bathroom.

"What!"

"I can't find my toothbrush!"

Ashley got off the bed and walked over to the bathroom, "It's in th—d" stumbling backwards as she was greeted with a naked Spencer leaning over the sink.

Spencer laughed out so loudly it made the brunette blush a deep red. Getting up she walked into the bathroom clearing her throat, "It's in here," she stretched across the blonde to reach the draw that held the toothbrush in it. Ashley's nose caught a whiff of the cucumber and green tea scented Dove soap Spencer had showered with and she couldn't help but press herself into the blonde's body,

"Mmm, baby you smell so good," she groaned gripping the blonde's hips.

Spencer threw her head back reveling in Ashley's touch, the brunette's fingertips felt hot against her cool skin.

"Now it's your turn," she whispered, her breath caught as she felt Ashley's knee slightly attempting to spread her legs from behind.

"Can I just—,"

Spencer turned around, the brunette's jean clad knee now brushing her center. Taking the toothbrush from Ashley's hand and pasting it with toothpaste she put it down on the counter, her arms reaching up to grasp either sides of the brunette's neck she brought her lips in and kissed her softly, grinding on the friction between her legs for a mere 20 seconds. As Ashley was getting into the heat of the moment Spencer pulled back, reached for the toothbrush, looked her girlfriend in the face, "I'll see you outside," then sticking the toothbrush in her mouth she turned around and started to brush her teeth. Ashley stood there, mouth agape as she tried to formulate in her mind what had just happened.

\

When Ashley got out of the bathroom Spencer already had on her white wife-beater and loose shorts. She was at the edge of the bed twirling the pendant that hung around her neck, the one Ashley had given her so they could have matching birthday gifts even though her birthday hadn't come yet.

"Are you ok Spence?"

"Hmnh?" she looked across at the brunette, not realizing at what point she stepped into the room.

"You ok?" she asked again walking over to sit beside her.

"Yea, I was just thinking."

"About what," concern was in her voice.

"Well…"

"Come lay with me," she pulled her into the bed, propping herself on a pillow she motioned for Spencer to rest her head on her chest.

"Now tell me,"

"I'm just so happy Ash," the brunette couldn't help but smile.

"That's a good thing right?"

"It feels good," was her only response, and after a moment's silence,

"I love you."

"I'm glad you're happy," she kissed her hair as she played with her fingers.

It wasn't long before Spencer drifted off to sleep. Ashley had fixed her on her own pillow so that she would be comfortable. As she kissed Spencer goodnight and settled down beside her there was a knock on her door.

"Go away Kyla!" there was no answer

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Mom! Can't we talk in the morning?" there was still no answer

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Gosh, Alright I'm coming!"

Good thing Spencer was out like a light, she didn't want to have her woken up.

She was pretty much pissed off at this point, as she turned the nub on the door and swung it open, her eyes taking a second to adjust to the light in the hallway, "What the hell do yo—dad?"

"Hey there rock star."


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER 32**

**Space**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you...awesome readers, awesome reviewers. I love you guys...really.**

**Hope you guys like this one.**

Ashley stood at the door staring in silence for what seemed like forever, her throat went dry as she tried to form the words but they failed to come out. She was happy, she could feel it, but the pain that came along with that happiness was unbearable. Her father's brows furrowed and his face scrounged with the familiar look of hurt, it took her only a moment to realize that his reaction was due to the fact that her eyes had become glossy, red and tear filled.

It had been so long, Raife took an unsure step forward, hoping he wouldn't get a slammed door in his face. He looked at her,

"Please don't cry,"

He slowly reached for her hand that was twisting the doorknob like she were about to break it, his thumb caressing the top of her hand. His sigh was heavy, laden with disappointment; it could only be that he was disappointed in himself. The last he saw Ashley, really saw her was when she turned fourteen, her mother had taken her to see him while he was touring Sydney. He had the evening planned but he let performing get the better of him. He got back to his hotel 3:00AM the next morning to find his little girl curled up on the couch with his jacket on, she had been crying, he could tell because the bear he had bought her she had used as a pillow and it was wet. He remembered he sat there and played her happy birthday before taking her to the bed and lying beside her watching her sleep.

There was a soft chuckle as he felt his own tears beginning to form. For the life of her, Ashley had never felt so emotionally drained, standing there nine minutes simply staring made her so week. As if she'd given up all restraint, Ashley lunged forward, her hands thrown around her father's neck as she held on to him. He squeezed her tightly, kissing her hair as she let go and cried profusely in his arms, letting it all out.

"I missed you daddy," her voice was hoarse yet barely audible as she cried into his neck, "I missed you so, so much."

He rubbed her back in attempts to comfort her, "I'm here now baby. I'm here."

"Ash—oh," Christine was making her way up the stairs when she caught sight of the two, Raife had looked back at her signaling he'd be down shortly. They stayed there for a moment longer, when he felt her calm, he pulled back and looked at her, "Wanna escort me downstairs?"

The brunette nodded slightly, as he held her hand leading the way,

"Wait," she had remembered the blonde who was asleep in her bed. Walking into the room she pulled the covers over Spencer and kissed her forehead, "I love you," then walking out she closed the door.

Smiling up at her father as he took her hand, they descended the stairs in silence.

Raife sat and watched as Ashley delved into the carton of ice-cream she took from the freezer.

"How did you ever escape with that with your mother around?" he chuckled

"I have my ways," she winked before placing the spoon in her mouth.

"Oh?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Uh huh,"

Silence fell over them as they sat at the dining table side by side.

"Ashley…"

As if she were sensing what he was about to say, "No dad, you don't have to. Not tonight anyway."

He fiddled with his thumbs, "Soon then."

"Hmnh."

"How have you been?"

"Good."

"Anyone special in your life right now?"

The brunette's eyes lit up as she blushed furiously, never really answering her father's question.

"I take that as a yes then."

"Spencer…her name is Spencer."

"I see. So how long have you two…?"

"Eight and a half months," she echoed proudly.

"Good, I'm pleased."

They sat there for a little while longer going through daily happenings, Ashley's school, him touring. Ashley didn't want to have a heavy discussion tonight; she wouldn't have been able to handle it and Raife understood that. He hadn't come prepared to rebuild Rome in a day. '_Soon'_ would be good enough timing, yea he could work with that.

"So are you going to get back upstairs to your bed?"

"Can I stay here with you?" she asked sheepishly, having him around made her so vulnerable.

"The couch isn't going to be very comfortable for the both of us Ashley."

"I'll make up the floor, I just wanna stay here tonight dad."

His eyes softened as he looked at her, how could he deny her such a simple request? Even if eh could, he had no right to, and he wouldn't.

"You can have the couch, I'll take the floor."

Both whipped their head around at the sound of Christine,

"It's nice to see you two getting along," she smiled as she walked over with a handful of blankets and pillows. "So I'll see you two in the morning?"

"You bet," they answered simultaneously causing Christine to smile, shaking her head.

The two lay there in the dark, Raife started to hum the lines to 'Fields of Gold' and Ashley felt her heart move.

"Dad?"

"Hmnh sweetie?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too. Now get some sleep," he reached over and squeezed her hand that hung from the couch.

And he started to hum again until he drifted off to sleep.

\

Spencer tossed her right leg across hoping to hit the brunette, but when her foot slammed the mattress she groaned, "Ash?"

She swished her hand across, then rolled…twice, no feel of the brunette on the bed. She sighed as she sat up slowly in the bed, she wasn't sure where Ashley had gone, no note and she wasn't in the bathroom.

Spencer brushed her teeth and headed down the stairs. What she saw in the living room, Ashley sprawled on the couch, her fingers intertwined with whoever it was that was on the floor.

Christine had come out and seen Spencer, holding onto the girl's shoulder she ushered her into the kitchen, "Come with me."

Spencer hopped onto the counter top, much like she did at home as Christine passed her a cup of tea, her curiosity was heighted at that point.

"Who is that?" referring to the person asleep on Ashley's living room floor.

"Ashley's father…"

"Oh,"

"Yea,"

"I should probably go home,"

"Don't leave on the count of Raife dear, Ashley won't mind."

"No, it's not that…I haven't been home since yesterday and my mom is probably expecting me," she babbled causing the older woman's eyes to narrow

"Ok, Spencer."

Spencer walked through the living room on her way to the door, she smiled at the sight, she was happy for Ashley, and decided she would give her as much time as she needed with her father. Remembering how the brunette had been in the bathroom all those months ago, Spencer knew she was going to need it.

She tip-toed over to the couch and knelt beside Ashley, stroking the hair from her face, she kissed her lips lightly, "I love you so much," and she popped up and out the door.

"See you soon Spencer," Christine chimed from the door.

Only 20 minutes later Ashley had woken up and bolted up the stairs to find an empty room and a made up bed, when she probed Christine she received a simple "She had something to do at home,"

The brunette backed out her phone,

"Spence, why'd you leave?"

"_I have a lot to do today Ash_,"

"Can I come pick you up around 11?"

"_Are you sure you'll be free?_"

"Yea, why wouldn't I be?"

"_Ok_,"

Ashley could feel the tension, and she somehow sensed that Spencer had seen her asleep in the couch.

"I love you, see you at 11."

"_Ok_."


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER 33**

**Less the Crying and the Screaming**

**Pretty quick update huh guys? Hahaha,**

**the responses for the last chapter were pretty much the same, I hope this one sorta clears up why Spencer was being a bit weird. I can assure you though that she was never angry.**

**Anyhow, thank you guys so much for reviewing, have fun reading, if you think there's something you wanna say...review it ;)**

Ashley had made her way back to the living room and sat there simply watching her dad sleep away, it wasn't long before he himself turned around to find big brown eyes staring at him and he smiled, it had been a while since he'd woken up to anything remotely close to the peace he felt now; usually it was just music…really loud music.

The brunette smiled back at him as he ruffled his hands through his hair stifling a yawn.

"Do you watch your mother while she sleeps?" he asked jokingly.

"No."

"Oh," he propped himself up on his elbows.

"That, would be weird."

"And it's not weird to watch me?"

"No," Ashley smiled

"Oh," he got up and stretched, as Raife was rubbing his back Christine walked into the room,

"Hurt your back?"

"No actually, best sleep I've had in a while," she smiled at him.

"Breakfast?"

He was a bit nervous as he spoke, "Actually, I was hoping I could _take_ you three out to breakfast…?"

…_[awkward cricket chirp]_

"I'll go get dressed," Ashley sauntered pass the two who stood there eyeing each other in silence.

Christine looked at him with a raised brow, "You don't have to do this Raife,"

As he stepped closer she clutched her chest. Reaching out he held her arms, "I want to," he nodded. Christine's gaze dropped to where his hands were on her shoulder and her body went limp. Her eyes shot back up to his at the sound of his voice.

"I _want_ to make this better."

And she knew he wasn't just talking about Ashley and Kyla. A sad smile crept up on her lips as she stared at him, his eyes burning into her own. And she felt her eyes burn, she wasn't about to cry, not in front of him, she wouldn't let him see her like that again. Raife's hands reached up cupping either sides of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek and the tears began to fall.

Christine pulled back and shrugged her shoulders,

"Take the girls to breakfast, I have to work. I can't do this."

"Christine please," he stepped towards her and she stormed pass him.

Raife plopped back into the couch and sighed. He sat there and watched as she walked back and forth getting ready for work, until she walked out the door without saying a word to him.

"Daddy!" Kyla ran literally jumping on her father, squeezing him in a death grip. "When did you get here,"

"Last night," he managed to say as she squeezed him harder.

"Kyla get off him!" Ashley shouted as she walked into the kitchen to grab her water, "Are you trying to kill him?"

"No," she grumbled as she eased up off her father, "Sorry daddy."

"It's ok sweetie," his smile was sympathetic.

"Where's mom?" Ashley asked,

His eyes grew sad as his mind went back to earlier, "Your mother has work, maybe next time."

"Quick shower, I need to get my suitcase, and I'll be ready,"

"Dad?" Ashley asked timidly.

"Can I invite someone?"

"Yea sure sweetie," he said pulling his shoes on to go get his suitcase.

"Spence, we're going out, I'm coming to get you," and she hung up the phone smiling with her tongue between her teeth.

"Be back in a little bit Kyla, I'm going to get Spencer."

\

She sat on the hood of her car at the front of Spencer's house as she waited for the blonde to get dressed. The door opened and she looked up to see Clay jogging down the steps and walking towards her.

"Hey Ashley, Can I ask you a question?"

"Yea sure,"

"Your friend Chelsea, what's her favorite color?"

"Green, why?"

"I wanted to get her something but I wasn't sure what, but now I have the perfect idea."

"Uuhh, ok."

"Thanks Ashley," and he shot in the left direction, "Going for a run, later."

"Sure thing Clay," she smiled at him, a smile that was extended when she saw the blonde walking toward her.

"You ready to go?" Ashley sidestepped and opened Spencer's door, "Get in."

The blonde smiled at her getting into the car. As they pulled away from Spencer's house Ashley's free hand reached across to bring the blonde's own hand to her lips, she kissed the top of her hand, "I missed you this morning,"

"I know, I'm sorry," she apologized

"Why'd you leave?"

"Well…" frustration was in her voice, "When I came downstairs I saw you asleep, your mom told me that the guy on the floor was your dad so…"

"So?" Ashley eased up on the gas as she pulled up to the stop light.

"So I figured more or less that you'd want to be alone with him and I really didn't want to be a nuance."

Her gaze softened as her eyes held Spencer's. She was so thoughtful even without trying and Ashley appreciated that.

"Thanks," she said genuinely. "But Spence…" she wasn't sure what to say.

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be. I always want you with me. My dad being here is great, there's a lot that needs to be said between me and him, and I get that. But that doesn't change what we have Spence, not how many times a day I see or talk to you, not how much I tell you that I love you, not anything. And it definitely doesn't change the fact that I _need_ you."

"Ok," Spencer said simply she hadn't really thought much about herself in the picture with Ashley's dad in town, but after Ashley's little speech she figured sticking around wouldn't hurt anything, she just hoped Ashley's father felt the same way.

"We're having breakfast with my dad and Kyla,"

"Are you sure you want me there," her face looked terrified

"Spence…" Ashley said sternly, "Honestly, do you want me to answer that?"

"No," and she turned her head to look out the window, Ashley sighed and kept her eyes trained on the road, she'd deal with Spencer and her insecurities soon enough.

As the pulled into Ashley's driveway they saw Raife and Kyla sitting outside in the grass, apparently Kyla was teaching him some of her meditation techniques.

It was morning, and the sun was out, Ashley would never understand why. She shook her head as she walked up to them, Spencer in hand, her grip tight.

"Sorry to break your meditation."

Raife jumped up, "No problem, wow who's this beautiful lady?"

"Dad, Spencer. Spencer, my dad…Raife Davies."

The blonde stretched her hand forward and was pulled away from Ashley into a crippling hug, "Extreme pleasure Spencer, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too Mr.—,"

"Please, call me Raife,"

"Alright," Spencer smiled looking at Ashley who leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "See, nothing is going to change."

"So Kyla told me IHOP and Starbucks for coffee?"

"That ok Spence?"

"Sure,"

"We'll take my car, let's go ladies,"

/

The four of them sat at their table, for the first 20 minutes on lookers kept whispering, Raife Davies was in town, they wanted autographs, and pictures. He was kind enough to handle it politely and in decent time, he wouldn't keep his girls waiting, it was family time something he knew he had to start getting serious about.

"Ashley!" the brunette whipped around to see Michelle sitting across the room, the blonde gave her a thumbs up and continues to talk to her company.

"Excuse me a minute guys,"

Ashley walked over to where Michelle was sitting, "Hey,"

"Hey yourself, I didn't know Raife Davies was your dad, I'm impressed."

"Yea?" Ashley laughed

"Uh huh,"

The brunette realized the hand holding in the middle of the table and looked at Michelle,

"Oh, this is my friend Alex."

"Nice to meet you Alex,"

"Like-wise."

"Where's my protégée?"

"At her Nan's,"

"Oh ok, well I better be getting back to my table."

"Say hi to Spencer for me,"

"Will do. Hey Michelle, I just realized, I don't have your number."

"That's right, Sarah said the same thing to me the other day 'mommy when are you gonna call Ashley,'" she laughed at the memory. "It's 347-434-5675"

"New York area code?"

"Yea well, I had to keep some memory of that place," there was a bit of sadness in her eyes as she spoke.

"Ok, I'll call you soon,"

"Sarah and I will be waiting,"

Ashley walked back to her table, noticing that her dad, Spencer and Kyla were watching her intently,

"What?"

"Nothing," the three of them responded together. Then they all erupted into laughter.

"Coffee anyone?"

They drove a few blocks to the nearest Starbucks, Spencer and Ashley in the back seat,

"Are you ok?"

"Yea, are you?"

"Mhm. I just realized something Spence,"

"What?"

"I haven't kissed you all morning."

The blonde started to laugh, "Honestly Ash?"

"Yea," she leaned in licking the shell of the blonde's ear. Spencer tried desperately to hold back the elicited moan, "Tell me you didn't miss that," Ashley whispered

Spencer could only nod her head, she didn't trust her voice. Ashley kissed her neck softly, then her jaw, before finally landing kisses on the blonde's lips. Spencer yielded to the lips that were making her head light, kissing back with equal amounts of passion. Ashley's tongue darted into her mouth and Spencer held her there, nipping, and sucking on the brunette's lips. It was impossible to not make a sound, so when Ashley moaned as Spencer's fingers played hop scotch on her legs Raife could only ask,

"You two ok back there?"

Ashley coughed pulling away from Spencer, her cheeks a bright crimson.

"Yea dad, we're fine."

Kyla couldn't help but laugh. "Yea daddy, they're _fine_."

She looked over at Spencer whose gaze was averted out the window, "I'm sorry"

"It's ok," she held her hand though her gaze never left outside.

\

"Ashley, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yea dad, be there in a sec," she put the phone back to her ear, "baby I'll call you in a little while, my dad wants to talk to me."

…

"I love you too."

"Come sit with me," he patted the seat beside him.

When she sat beside him, he put his arm around her shoulder, "The sky out tonight is beautiful isn't it?"

Ashley looked up at the stars, "Yea it is." When she heard her father let out a breath he seemingly might have been holding for a while she knew what was coming next.

He eased back on the seat and turned to face his daughter, "How can I fix this?"

"Daddy…I can't do this right now," her eyes had begin to water.

"There is not one day that has gone by in the last five years that I haven't thought about you."

"Daddy please?" her voice cracking

"You, your mom, and Kyla are my world. You have to know that."

"You never called dad, always made promises, text messages…is that how you treat your world?" behind the tears, he could hear the bitterness in her voice.

"I'm sorry,"

"That doesn't make it go away dad! It doesn't make it better!"

"I got so used to being on the road, every time your mother would call and tell me something was wrong I got scared, I didn't know what to say to make it better or even that I could make it better. It was just easier to hide."

"Do you have any idea how much I needed you around, forget missing my special days or relationship drama, do you know what it was like when I came home crying day in day out because of gay bashers? I wanted _my_ daddy, the only man who could put his arms around me and make me feel like five years old again. It was _never_ this easy. Not for me, not for mom…and certainly not for Kyla. Any little upset in the media, _'Raife Davies, the dead-beat dad'_, it wasn't just us anymore, the whole world had to know we were having trouble, and we had to live with that. Never understanding why we were only able to send you cards at Christmas instead of having you with us to open your presents, even when we knew you weren't coming…" she started to cry a little more, "we still bought them, _every_ year. And the worst part about it is, I wanna be _so_ mad at you, _so angry_…but I can't. I love you too much, and you're still my dad."

His head was hung low, he didn't have anything to say, there was nothing he could say.

"I'm sorry Ashley,"

"I know," she held her head in her hands as she cried.

"I won't tour anymore," he said simply. "I want my life back, my family"

Ashley looked into his eyes, her own red and puffy, "You never lost us dad, we've always been here."

And the realization hit him, she was right. He pushed forward and held her in his arms, allowing her to let it all out.

"Please tell me you'll give me a chance to fix it."

"You can't fix it, only make it better."

"So will you?"

Ashley nodded her response and grabbed the man before her once more, "I'm glad you're here daddy,"

"Me too princess. I'm never leaving you again, I can promise you that."

"Thanks,"

They sat there rocking back and forth on the porch chair.

"I need to have a talk with Kyla," he said more to himself but still out loud.

"She'll be easy on you, sap." They both chuckled.

"And your mother?"

"Tough cookie, you'll need a choir for that one."

"I see," but he already knew that, he'd had a little dose of it this morning, Raife sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, tonight was going to be awkward.

"We need to have more moments like this," Ashley said as she looked at her father, "minus the crying and screaming."

"We will," he said genuinely, "minus the crying and screaming."

\


	34. Chapter 34

**Update! Sorry guys...school's been overly abusive and my job doesn't make it any easier. Hope you guys like this one. 3 more chapters to go**

**CHAPTER 34**

**I Want You**

"Ashley where's your mom?"

"Not sure, why?"

"She didn't come home last night," the sadness in his voice was evident and Ashley stopped pasting the mayo on her rye only to walk over to the man, stooping a bit to catch a glimpse of his eyes, she quickly noted the bags that were beginning to form and the pained look that etched its way to his temples.

"Dad what's wrong?"

"I—I don't know why I came here expecting it to be easy. Well not quite but I didn't know it would be this difficult, this painful."

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed as he pulled out a bar stool and sat down, his elbow resting on the counter as his eyes scanned his palms that were turned up. Ashley instinctively pulled out a stool and sat beside her father, her hand rubbing his back for support.

"What's wrong?"

Another sigh escaped his lips as he looked over at his daughter, her half smile made his heart warm, made him feel at ease. At least he knew she had accepted him back into her life.

"Your mother hates me," his hands combing through his hair.

Ashley was unsure of how to answer, when it came to the dynamics of her mother and father she was clueless. "No, no she doesn't."

"She won't answer my calls, she stayed out last night just to avoid seeing me…"

"That's mom, she stays out," she licked her lips remembering all the times she came home to a note with a couple hundred on the banister.

"I suppose so,"

"Dad what's wrong?"

"I love her," he said quietly.

The revelation stunned Ashley, she hadn't known the nature of her parent's relationship and she realized there wasn't much she could say to make her dad feel better.

"I love her…and she hates me," he scoffed at the thought, "Ashley,"

"Yea dad?"

"I'm going to be on the strip for a few days, I need some time to think. Come find me if you need me."

"Dad, you don't have to go."

"I can't stay here Ashley, I don't know why I thought I could."

"Dad, please…"

Raife kissed his daughter, "Call me," and he walked out of the kitchen and grabbed his bags. Ashley heard the door open, then close and lastly her father's engine revving as it took off.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Spencer,

"Can I see you?"

…

"Ok,"

\

"Wow, that's some pretty heavy stuff Ash, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yea, I'll be fine, it's not like he's running away again."

'Humor much?" he laughed as he socked her with the pillow.

"It keeps me warm at night," she beamed

"I thought that was Spencer's job,"

"Hey!" she shrieked, shoving him playfully in the side. "She does her job well thank you very much."

"I know, that's why you can't wipe that smirk of your face. You've come a long way Davies, but surprisingly you're still that same girl…the one I used to, well I still love you, just not…you know," Aiden motioned trying to get his words out.

"Don't hurt yourself," she laughed. "I know what you mean."

"She's amazing though you know, I feel how much love she has for you whenever she enters a room, it's ridiculous. She stares, you smile, she moves closer, you get flustered, she touches your hand, your eyes close. Don't think I don't notice you two."

The brunette couldn't help the grin that was plastered on her face.

"She makes me _want_ to be better. I want be everything she needs and more, just to see her smile. Make her feel what she makes me feel every second of the day."

"You do," a voice came from the door that was edged open. Ashley's eyes shot up to meet piercing blue ones that were bordering tears. Spencer sniffled and wiped her eyes before the tears could fall, then so secretively mouthed '_I__love__you_' to the girl who was still staring at her from a distance.

"Hey Spence."

"Aiden," she nodded in acknowledgment, her eyes never once leaving Ashley's, a smile forming on her lips when the girl got up, walked over and hugged her. The brunette's arm was so tightly wound around the blonde's waist, her head nestled in the crook of Spencer's neck.

"_You__do_," Spencer whispered again as her hand moved to the small of Ashley's back.

They stayed like that for a while longer until Aiden's voice brought them back,

"Hey guys, I better be leaving now. I have a practice session in a little while and my mom just called."

"Dinner later?"

"Oh, yea." Passing the two who still stood at the door he kissed them both on the cheek, "I'll see you ladies later."

After Aiden had gone Spencer looked at Ashley, "Dinner?" her brow arched in question.

"Yes, my dad left, my mom's not here and Kyla's in Baltimore for the weekend…I didn't want to be alone."

"Oh," as if she were just processing all Ashley had said, "wait, your dad left?"

"Yea, not _left_, left, he's at The Strip. He's convinced he's the reason why she didn't come home last night and decided it would be best if he didn't stay."

"Oh," she was still speechless.

"He said he loved her."

"Oh."

"Is that all you have to say," Ashley giggled.

"No, this is just—how are you dealing with all of this, you just got him back."

"I know, but I'm ok really, I know where he is so—,"

"Yea, that's true."

"Plus, I have you with me. I can get through anything," the color in her cheeks heightened.

"That you do," she placed a chaste kiss on either corner of the brunette's mouth.

"So what's for dinner?"

"You're the chef Spence, you tell me."

Spencer threw her head back laughing, "What would you do without me?"

"Good thing I don't have to think about that do I," she smiled.

"You're right, you don't" she kissed the brunette, her lips lingering a bit longer. "I love you."

Their day progressed fairly well, getting all the homework that they could done. It was a wonder Spencer managed to stay focused with Ashley prancing around the house is almost nothing, especially when the brunette kept sneaking kisses and tracing heated patterns on the blonde's exposed skin. By dinner Ashley had worked herself up and wasn't able to keep her hands off Spencer. They sat at the table, enjoying Spencer's version of chicken parmesan in Alfredo sauce with a hint of barbecue. Aiden snickering every now and then knowing in himself they thought they were doing a good job of hiding the little gestures in their actions. Plus, he could see it in Ashley's eyes, even if they didn't mean to, they wanted him gone, just to be with each other, _alone_ and he wasn't one to stand in the way of that so dinner ended early.

They sat on the floor facing each other, Ashley playing with Spencer's fingers, tracing patterns over them.

"Spence?"

"Yea baby?"

Ashley smiled at the endearment.

"I like the way you say that."

"Yea?" she inched closer to the brunette

"Mhm," was all she could muster when she felt the blonde's lips against her ear, "Baby," Spencer whispered before kissing the lobe of her girlfriend's ear then placing little kisses along her jaw line till she felt soft lips capture her own in a heated torrent of wild abandon. Ashley moved forward so she was straddling the blonde, she looked down at Spencer, her eyes, their shade of blue had brightened, she brushed a strand of hair that always seemed to be falling, away from the girl's eyes. Lowering her head, stopping inches away from her lips, Ashley smiled,

"You're so beautiful," she whispered before claiming Spencer's lips again, this time a bit more slowly. Ashley was trying to build her courage, if she hadn't been sure about anything in her life she was sure about this, but she was scared. As she kissed Spencer she hoped the feeling in the pit of her stomach would subside but it had only heightened her anticipation and Spencer felt it. She gently pulled away from the kiss holding the brunette's face in her hands.

"What's wrong?" the concern evident in her voice, "Is it—we don't have to if—,"

"No, it's not that,"

"Then wh—," her question cut short as lips feverishly claimed hers again. They kissed until it became necessary for them to breathe. Resting her forehead against the brunette's Spencer whispered, "Are you ok Ash?"

A shake of the head was the only response she got, their faces still only inches apart, her breathing labored,

"I want you Spence," she whispered

The blonde eased herself off her elbows into a sitting position, Ashley still straddling her, she cradled the brunette's face in her hands once more, looking intently into chocolate brown eyes,

"You _do_ have me Ashley,"

"No, no, no," she shook her head, "I _want_ you Spencer. Today, tomorrow…" she brought one of Spencer's hands to her lips and kissed her knuckles, "30 years from now…"

"Ashley?"

The brunette dipped her head and quickly kissed the blonde before looking back at her, "I want you to marry me,"

There, she said it, and now she felt dizzy. They sat there in silence for about three minutes, not making eye contact, Ashley still held the blonde's hand, making lazy patterns with her thumb. The patterns stilled when she felt a finger lift her chin so their eyes locked. Spencer gazed intently into Ashley eyes, the silence again overwhelming them, she nodded her response.

"Yea?" her eyes watered as she moved to place a kiss to the blonde's neck before resting her head there and breathing in her scent.

"I have a ring, but not with me. I'll make a better proposal soon."

"This was the best," she kissed her hair.

She knew, at only 17, she knew and it hurt. It hurt that some people may never get to experience what she was feeling so immensely being in Ashley's arms.

"So when will you tell them?"

"5 months?" her grin was cheeky

"After graduation?"

"No, our 1 year anniversary."

"Oh…why wait?"

"I want to be sure Ash,"

"Of what?" she pulled back from the hug and looked at the girl before her

Spencer didn't answer.

"You don't think we'll make it do you," she said more of an accusation than a question.

"God baby no!"

"Then why wait Spencer? Tell me!" she eased off the blonde and stood up, trying very hard not to raise her voice."

Still no answer, Spencer didn't want to admit that she was scared she and Ashley might not make it, she knew they would somewhere _deep_ down, but until it surfaced, she was just content with living the days as they came. There was no doubt that she loved the girl standing before her, more than her own self but—. There was always a 'but'.

Her train of thought was broken when she heard the brunette scoff, "No answer?"

"Ash," Spencer pleaded.

"No Spence, don't…Please, just don't."

Spencer got up, moving towards the brunette. Ashley shied away from her touch.

"No! No! You are _not_ doing this, not now," and she grabbed the girl's hand pulling her into a whirlwind kiss, stepping backwards until she felt the control in having the girl's back against, the wall. Her fingers pressed into Ashley's hips lightly as her lips and tongue made certain the brunette could feel her love. They both pulled back slightly, panting, foreheads pressed together. Ashley licked her lips as she looked at the blonde under hooded eyes, her heart breaking slowly,

"I think you should go…"


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER 35**

**You Ignite Those Flames**

**I get that a lot of you guys didn't like the last ending, I hope this makes up for it**

* * *

'_Ashley please, don't do this.'_

'_I'm not doing anything Spencer, this is all you,' the brunette stepped away from the wall_

'_I just want to wait a while,' the tears now becoming evident in her voice._

'_With no damn good explanation!' she had tried not to shout but her heart was breaking._

Ashley lay there replaying the incident of the last week over and over again in her mind. What the hell happened? Everything was going so well, until Spencer said she wanted to wait, for what? She said she loved her, why wait?

'_I __want __us __to __stay __like __this, __forever __if __it's __possible__…__together__'_

She ran her fingers through her hair, sighing as Spencer's voice kept ringing in her ears.

'_I've __never __been __more, __sure __about __anything __else __in __my __life __Ashley__…'_

'_I __love __you __so __much __it __scares __me__'_

'…_I __loved __you __first, __remember?__'_

Ashley tried to process the reason for Spencer's silence, she still couldn't think. She lay there, willing herself not to cry, she was too tired to. She hadn't been sleeping well, she couldn't. Ashley had told Spencer not to call and the blonde didn't, and she never bothered picking up the phone herself and calling either.

There was a knock on the door and Ashley groaned, turning into the pillow,

"Go away!" she groaned, dragging the sheets over her head.

"Is that any way to talk to your sister?" Kyla stated as she threw open the door. "Grandma wanted to talk to you but I told her you weren't feeling well, she sends her love,"

"Thanks," she whispered.

"How are you feeling though," walking over to the bed Kyla lay beside Ashley hugging her from behind.

"I don't know Ky,"

"Hmnh…has she called?"

"No."

"You look horrible Ash, have you been sleeping?"

"I can't. I close my eyes and she's all I see, _every__single__time_.'

"Really, what happened with you two?"

Ashley was contemplating telling Kyla, she really didn't want to, she just wanted to forget.

"I asked her to marry me…"

"Wow, Ash…and she said no, I'm so sorry."

"She said yes," Kyla heard Ashley's voice crack and knew she was about to cry again.

"So if she said yes why do you look like someone swung a baseball bat through the windshield of your Aston Martin?"

"She didn't want to tell her parents. At least she didn't sound like she wanted to."

Kyla moved and motioned her sister to turn towards her.

"Whoa, wait…Ash. What happened?"

"Kyla I really don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Don't give me that Ashley, what happened?"

"I asked her when she was going to tell her family and she said she wanted to wait."

Kyla started to laugh, she couldn't help it and probably it was wrong but she just had to laugh.

"Do you realize how unreasonable that sounded Ashley?"

Ashley didn't answer, she turned her back to her sister and told her to leave.

"The love of your life says yes to your proposal and you're mad at her 'cause she wants to wait to tell her family?"

Ashley was angry now, "Damn it Kyla shut up! You weren't here ok! You didn't see the look in her eyes when I asked her why she wanted to wait! It was like she didn't think we were going to last. In fact, it was exactly what she thought…and it hurt, you have no idea how much."

"How do you know that's what she was thinking?"

"Kyla…you _weren__'__t_ here. You _don__'__t_ know," the brunette seethed under breath.

"Really Ash, how do you know? You ask her to marry you, she says yes, all she wanted to do was wait to tell her parents."

"Kyla," Ashley felt defeated.

"Ash, Spencer loves you,"

"Not enough to tell her family that we decided to spend the rest of her life together."

"You can't say that Ash. Talk to her."

"I doubt she'll want to see me."

"She will." Kyla contemplated telling Ashley but decided she'd better know, "She's been here. We told her you were staying at dad's."

"That was probably best."

"Look, Ashley. Spencer's only 17…marriage? That's a lot to take in, but she said yes because she loves you. Just take that and run with. Go see her, be happy again…I'm tired of seeing you mope around."

Ashley chuckled, "I love you Kyla,"

"I know!" she hugged her sister and rolled off the bed, "Oh, and the next time you act like an as I will be forced to beat the shit out of you. I'm serious."

\

"Ashley! Come on in, Spencer's upstairs," Arthur enveloped her in a hug it did help to calm her nerves a bit.

"Hey Mr. C,"

"Haven't seen you around in a while,"

"Yea, I've been busy," she laughed nervously.

"Well, don't let me keep you," and he ushered her up the stairs.

She stood at the top of the stairs for ten minutes before deciding to knock on Spencer's door.

'_Dad is that you?'_

Ashley leaned against the door, it had been so long since she'd heard Spencer's voice.

"It's me," she whispered, just loud enough for the blonde to hear. There was no answer. Ashley stood at the door for another fifteen minutes, her heart breaking each passing minute. She sighed and turned away, when she heard the lock turn and saw the door open. There stood Spencer, her hair was flung in a loose bun, her eyes were read and puffy, tear stain evident on her cheeks, she looked tired.

"Ash," escaped her lips, barely a whisper. Her eyes had lost their light, the piercing blue that had captivated Ashley on so many occasions had faded and it tore the brunette every bit as much as being away from the girl for so long. Before she could open her mouth to speak she felt arms pulling at her neck as a warm body crashed into hers forcefully pushing her back against the stairwell. Ashley held on to the girl who was clutching at her as if to save her life. Spencer's body began shaking, her chest heaving and Ashley knew she was crying, she just held her, reaching up to stroke her hair.

"I'm sorry Spence. Please don't cry."

They stood there in silence, Spencer's tears being the only sound audible. Her body calmed as she felt Ashley's hand drift to the small of her back,

"I got you Spence…I got you."

They waited out the tears, the blonde still clung to her girl. The brunette reached up for the arms that were around her neck and gently pried them open, putting Spencer back a bit so she could look at her,

"Can we talk inside?" Ashley licked her lips, her question hesitant.

She took Ashley's hand that held hers and pulled her into the room, once inside the brunette's foot slammed it shut as she was being led to the bed. Ashley found herself on top of Spencer straddling her, As she looked down at the blonde she wanted to kick herself internally, she kept hurting her without cause, she had promised herself on the way over that she wouldn't anymore, it was one she planned to stick to.

"We can wait, as long as you want Spence, because I want you, I _want_ to marry you and I'm sorry for the way I acted."

"I already told them," she squeezed her eyes shut to avoid looking at Ashley.

"Spence,"

"No, you were right, I was scared, that we—I told them that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together because I love you," propping herself on one elbow she reached up and stroked the brunette's right cheek, "I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't love you, because I do, you know that don't you Ash?"

Kissing the inner palm of the hand that held her cheek, "Spence, I wasn't thinking…I need to learn to do that more with you so please don't blame yourself, our little fight was my fault. It won't happen again," she closed her eyes reveling in the feel of Spencer's touch. She soon felt lips on hers, kissing softly just to reacquaint themselves, and she accepted Spencer's kiss, nipping on her bottom lip every time it would get caught between her own.

Spencer slipped from underneath Ashley and unto the floor, pulling the brunette into a sitting position on the edge of the bed she held both her hands and kissed them. Staring up into warm brown eyes the blonde cleared her throat,

"Since the first time I saw you, there was something that I couldn't quite figure. I wanted to know you. Granted it didn't blow over too well the first time but I get why. You have such a good heart Ashley, you tried so hard to fix the pain you'd caused even though it wasn't intentional. When you kissed my scar to make it better," a quirky grin pressed to her lips. "Disappearing on me to go to Little Rock to turn your life around…just because you love me. Ashley I have _never_ had anyone go through what you did for me, I can't begin to tell you how happy and how grateful I am to know that you do the things you do not out of obligation but because of that fire of emotion that lives right here," she pressed her hand against the brunette's heart. "You Ashley Davies are my first, and if you'll have me, I would love for you to be my forever. Will you marry me?"

The brunette chuckled softly, the tears shining in her eyes, she placed a hand over Ashley's,

"You ignite those flames Spence," she said in all honesty "and as much as you just stole my job" the smile on her face bright, "I would love to be your forever, so I guess this is me saying yes," she sighed as she reached into her front pocket and pulled out a band of white gold with a princess cut diamond in its center.

"Ash," she couldn't formulate her words

"This is for you, to make it official," she slid it on to the blonde's finger as she held her gaze, "Promise me the next time I make you cry it'll be because you're happy,"

"Like now," she chuckled softly, "I love you Ashley."

"I know you do," pulling the girl up from the floor she kissed her lips before taking her into her arms and holding her impossibly close.

"So when will you tell them?" Spencer posed the question

"I think now's a good time don't you?"

"Nah, we can wait," she smiled

"Whatever you want Spence, whatever you want."


	36. You'll See When We Get There

**Well guys this is it, the end. Thank you guys for reading, your reviews, greatly appreciated. I'd like to think my first fic went well :).**

**imaferrari!, noodles307, SoNfan1604, sayiloveyou... , mb168, Breakdown6, Godlove, Ambeezy, Sgarc12, inviziblinc, Acurcuru, silenttearsscream..., ashleyss27, 1Southluvr, palex 4ever, AliciaJ29, tbplrbear1, PoissonGal, KairiM, Chaldolicious615, Hellsvictim13, jhh and rainbowlover93 you guys took the time out to write your thoughts, and made the experience of writing this fic very memorable, I looked forward to every email alert that came in, every favourite whether story or author, and I've kept all of them. So again, thank you guys for the support. I'm not sure how you'll like this end but this is it.**

**Have fun reading guys!**

**CHAPTER 36**

**You'll Know When We Get There**

* * *

The door slammed.

"Damnit Raife, you don't get to walk back into my life and expect things to be the same!"

"I know that! Don't you think I know?"

"Then leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me that you don't love me anymore."

"I _don__'__t_ love you," she breathed through the tears. "I waited for you, eventually I had to move on, and I have, we're not kids anymore Raife, you can't win me over with a song anymore."

"Chris, I love you," his eyes were getting glossed.

A throaty laugh escaped Christine's mouth choked behind the tears and evident anguish,

"Don't you dare try to pull this one over on me."

Raife spun around mindless, needing to smash something to dissipate his anger, when he couldn't find anything he held his head at either sides and screamed as his hands clutched at his hair.

"I need you back in my life, I can't be without you."

"You chose to be without me a long time ago, I need to go I have work."

Raife sank to the bar stool, defeated he felt sorry the day he decided to leave home, his wife, and his daughters but if Christine didn't want him in her life anymore there was nothing he could do, not even a song would fix it this time, she was right; they weren't children and she was a woman with pain and he wasn't sure he could fix that. He got up of the stool and stumbled towards the woman whose eyes had lost all familiar feeling and he held her, he held her and cried. Ashley walked in on the two and silently made her way up the stairs. When she got to her room Kyla was on her bed staring at the ceiling,

"They've been at it for a while now. I think dad might be leaving again," the sadness was pretty evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry Ky," she slumped down on the bed beside her sister and stared at the ceiling. "I'll still be here," not exactly sure how much comfort that would bring to the younger brunette.

"Thanks Ash,"

They'd stayed in the room until they heard Christine leave, when they went down stairs their father was in the kitchen, ¼ bottle of Daniels left in the bottle. Kyla nonchalantly walked over to the counter and swept up the bottle,

"You're not allowed to kill yourself while we're here,"

Raife chuckled, "I'm sorry you guys had to hear that," his voice was hoarse.

"Are you going to leave again?" Kyla didn't miss a beat, she wanted answers.

Raife looked up at her and saw that she was genuinely upset, he wouldn't have his little girl cry,

"No. I promised I wouldn't, it's one I intend to keep."

Kyla lunged at him in a startling hug. All the while Ashley was standing in the door frame looking at the two.

"Well that's good to know," she whispered.

"I'm not going to let what your mother and I have affect my life with you two," he smiled. It was the first time he'd remembered smiling in a while. The rollercoaster he and Christine had been on got the best of him,

"She asked for a divorce, I'm thinking it's the one thing I'll be able to do to make her happy."

"I'm so sorry," Kyla and Ashley said at the same time.

"It's ok. My own fault but I get it."

The three of them huddled together in a warm embrace, enjoying the family moment.

* * *

"Well actually after graduation we were planning on taking a little road trip," the brunette said reaching under the table to hold Spencer's hand.

"Oh, where to?"

"Cross country, Europe…not sure yet."

Spencer felt slightly uneasy listening to Ashley talk about their plans to her parents, she wanted all attention diverted from her so she reached for the perfect topic,

"Clay have you told them yet?"

"Told us what?" Paula averted her gaze to the other end of the table

He laughed nervously, "I got into Brown," more of a question than a statement really.

"Oh honey we know that already," Paula smiled.

Looking across at Spencer he saw the plea in her eyes and figured there might be a reason, being the great brother that he is, he smiled inwardly then said proudly,

"I've been chosen for Valedictorian of our class,"

"Wow, that's great son," Arthur exclaimed fisting it with Clay.

Paula was so excited she jumped from her chair and rushed to the other side of the table hugging Clay in his seat.

"Nice job my man," Glen's high fiving came into play and Spencer just smiled, mouthing a "_thank__you_" as she looked across at him, he nodded in compliance.

"May I please be excused for a moment?"

"Yea me too," Ashley chimed in.

"Sure you two," Paula said pulling the scoop from the pantry, "but you'll be missing out on

ice-cream,"

"We'll be back mom, it's only for a little while," the blonde laughed as she headed from the dining room.

Spencer stepped outside to the cool night air that was becoming even rarer as the summer approached. She sat on the patio steps resting her chin on her knees as she pulled the jacket she had brought out tighter around herself. She looked up at the stars and her breath caught at the amazing beauty that was above.

"They _do_ look beautiful tonight," an all too familiar voice came from behind, Spencer didn't turn around but she smiled. When Ashley joined her on the steps she looked across at her and chuckled.

"I'm sorry if you wanted to be alone but I couldn't stay away."

"It's ok, I wouldn't want you to. And I secretly hoped that you would follow me," she added for effect.

"I knew it." Ashley laughed bumping their knees together. And after a moment's silence she asked, "Are you ok Spence?"

"Yea, why?"

"Well, I don't know…looks like you were dying to get out of there."

"I was, I felt like I was suffocating."

"Is something wrong? Are you sick?"

"No, it's nothing like that, I just…I honestly don't know, I just needed some air"

"Oh. I'll go inside then, come find me when you feel better?"

"No, please stay, I want you to stay," she breathed holding on to the brunette's hand.

"Ok, give me a sec," and she ran inside, back out in record time with a blanket. She walked across the lawn and spread it then leading Spencer to it, she lay her down and stayed beside her giving her the comfort of arms and a listening ear.

"Thank you,"

"Why you're welcome."

* * *

"Spencer? Spencer! Stop pacing! You'll do great," Ashley said moving forward to get a grip on the girl.

"What if I don't, what if I fail? I won't graduate," she started to ramble again, "If I don't graduate my parents will disown me, I won't get into NYU and they won't let me marry you I'll be forced to get a GED, not that anything's wrong with that but I was thinking more along the lines o—,"

The brunette put her to silence the best way she could. Spencer went limp against Ashley as she felt the girl's lips moving against hers and her tongue probing inside. Ashley continued to place a series of soft kisses on the blonde's lips before pulling back.

"Your parents _won__'__t_ disown you, you already got _in_ to NYU—,"

"What if they get this grade and change their minds, they'll retract my—," Ashley kissed her again,

"Shh, they won't, and nothing will stop us from getting married and Spencer your GPA is like 4.0 so no GED ok?"

"If you say so,"

"I do. What time is your exam?" the bell rang out then.

"Now, oh God I'm late—,"

"You have 5 minutes Spence, calm down," Ashley quirked a grin, she was enjoying this.

Spencer swatted her arm, "Ash I'm scared, this is my final exam and—,"

"And you'll do great," she kissed her again for reassurance, "Good luck."

"Thank you," she smiled weakly and hugged her girlfriend.

"Now go, I'll be waiting for you in the quad," she placed a kiss to her cheek, "I love you."

She watched as the blonde reached the entrance of the examination room then turned back, Ashley smiled giving her a 'thumbs up' then watched as she entered and the door closed behind her.

* * *

"I can't believe we graduate today,"

"Dude are you crying?" Glen said adjusting his tie.

"Leave him alone," Kyla jumped in, "He's just going to miss me is all," she smiled

"Aiden you're a sap," Glen said walking pass him knocking his shoulder.

"No Glen, I'm a man with feelings,"

"Where's you get that from you idiot?"

"Her," he said placing a kiss on Kyla's lips, "Thank you," she'd adjusted his tie and now she was fixing his cap.

"Where are Spencer and Ashley?" Paula asked as she watched the rest of them get dressed,

"Upstairs in Spencer's room,"

"Spencer! Ashley! You two need to get down here now!"

"Coming mom!" Spencer bellowed from the top of the stairs.

Looking back at Ashley with a wicked grin on her face, "We can finish this later," as she zipped up her dress, the brunette pushed her against the door bringing the blonde's left leg over her hip as her hands ran up her stockings she breathed into Spencer's neck, "How about now? We can skip graduation."

"Very tempting offer," Spencer husked out, barely able to breathe, "Bu—," she felt Ashley push up against her center. The blonde held the brunette's face in her hands and kissed her hard before pushing her back gently, "we'll finish this later, I promise." and she took her cap and gown off the chair moving to the door and into the bathroom, she wasn't sure 'later' would arrive if she stayed in the same room with Ashley.

* * *

They all sat in a booth at the restaurant waiting for their food.

Raife got up clinking the fork to his glass of water,

"I'd like to propose a toast to the five graduates in our midst," looking across the faces at the booth, "Ashley honey, I'm so proud of you, immensely,"

"Thank you daddy," she smiled

"Same here Spence," Raife and Arthur fisted across the table at that comment, when did they become such good friends?

"Aiden, Glen, Clay, we need more upstanding men like you in society."

"Thank you sir," they said together causing everyone at the table to erupt with laughter.

"You guys did a great job, just wanted to say congratulations. Oh, and if anyone's looking for a job this summer give me a call, I'm establishing a production company downtown on East, 'Davies Records' and I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

"Count me in," Glen topped, I need to do _something_ with my summer…I'm the only one who's single."

"Your choice man," Clay patted his back.

"Just in time," the waiter had arrived with the food and he was happy, groveling in his solo march wasn't something he wanted to do, plus, he was hungry.

The evening progressed well, everyone went back to Ashley's for drinks, Paula and Christine chatted it up about work and interior decorating, Clay went to go hang with Chelsea, Glen and Aiden took it to the court with Raife and Arthur and Spencer and Ashley retired to Ashley's room.

"I told you, you were going to do great Miss First Class Honors,"

"You did," Spencer blushed as she adjusted herself into the brunette's body.

"When did I get so lucky," she turned to face the blonde.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked tucking a curl behind the girl's ear.

"This," she motioned between the small space that separated them. "I had a bad attitude, a bad rep, bad habits," referring to her smoking and drinking a little over a year ago.

"You've always had this," pressing her hand over the brunette's chest, "A good heart."

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"See the good in people," she said stroking her cheek,

"Oh I don't know, but it's true though. You just needed someone to see you for you and I guess I was lucky enough to be that person."

"Ok let's leave it at this, we were both lucky."

"Agreed," rolling on top of the brunette so she straddled her Spencer smiled looking down at the girl, "You have the most beautiful eyes," she reached down brushing her fingers across Ashley's lids. "And your smile always puts me over the edge," she bent to kiss the brunette's lips. Ashley propped herself up on both elbows deepening the kiss, "I love you Ashley Davies,"

"I love you too Spence," snaking her arms around the blonde's lower back she pulled the blonde's body closer to hers turning so she was on top, "And a promise is a promise," she grinned as she lowered her head to kiss the girl fully on her lips.

They spent the rest of their time creating memories and fulfilling dreams, and like Plato noted, they found that they were one in the same, made for each other, a single soul dwelling in two bodies and the undeniable curiosity and attraction that pulled Spencer to Ashley in the beginning was as a result of this.

* * *

"I'm finished loading the car girls!" Arthur yelled from outside when he saw Spencer and Ashley both with one suitcase each,

"You better have a rope so I can tie those down, that poor trunk won't be able to hold anymore.

"No worries Mr. C, back seat," Ashley flashed her million dollar smile.

"Oh. Right," he took the luggage and placed them in the back seat, "_Now_, I'm finished loading."

"Thanks dad," Spencer smiled up at him as she reached up to hug him, "I'm going to miss you."

"Same here kiddo, same here."

Arthur looked over and noticed Ashley standing at a distance, "You know there's room for one more Ashley," and she walked towards him with tears in her eyes.

"You're the best substitute dad a girl could ask for Mr. C,"

He smiled and kissed her hair, "I was honored," he said simply. Spending most days working with teens that were like Ashley it was good he could be there for support when trouble hit close to home.

"You two be safe, call when you make your first stop, and _no_ leaving the country," Spencer's eyes shot wide, _how __did __he__—_,

"Unless you call first," he grinned," I saw the tickets and brochures, incase you're wondering,"

He hugged them once more and they trailed over to Paula who was coming out of the house with a picture in her hand, it was one with the family, both families, taken after graduation, she thought the girls might like to have it.

"Mom please don't cry, we'll be fine, we're not going to Vegas to get married in an underrated chapel, and it's only a cross country road trip."

"I know, I know but I'm going to miss you two so much," Paula bickered her eyes becoming glossy. She couldn't help it, her little girl had just graduated high school and already she was on the break to getting married, you know how mom's get.

"Don't worry about it Paula, we'll send you a postcard from every city and I'll make sure Spencer calls you every night,"

The blonde gasped in horror and pinched the brunette's hip in silent disapproval; Ashley quickly fixed her statement,

"I meant at least three times a week,"

Paula raised an eyebrow at the sudden change and Spencer jumped in for the save,

"Ashley's right mom, we'll be pretty busy, and tired most nights."

Paula smiled and pulled the two ladies into a hug, she looked at her daughter, all the love in her eyes, "I'm going to miss you sweetie," turning to Ashley, "You've been the best thing that could have happened to my little girl in the time she's spent in LA. Being uprooted from everything you know is never easy but she's had you to be there for her, I honestly can't complain," the older blonde chuckled kissing the brunette's hair, "I trust you to take care of her Ashley,"

"I will Paula," she smiled, looking over at Spencer.

"Good," she dressed back wiping her eyes and straightening her shirt, "See you two in a few months then."

"Right," Spencer nodded.

"Hey you two wait up!" Glen came busting through the door and running up to the girls who were heading to the car. He stopped and looked at his sister, then at Ashley, then back to Spencer his smile widening as his view shifted. Stepping towards Spencer he stood there for a decent ten seconds in silence then a goofy grin striped his lips,

"In case you're wondering no, I'm not gonna cry,"

Spencer smiled and leaped forward capturing him in a hug, "I love you too Glen,"

He sighed as he breathed into her neck, "I'm going to miss you," bringing his hand up to ruffle her hair, they pulled back staring at each other before both burst into laughter for no apparent reason.

"Ashley, you know I think you're hot."

"So not the time for this Glen," she seethed.

"What? It was a compliment. Anyways I'm going to miss you too, watching you sneak out of Spencer's room all hours of the morning was very entertaining,"

"Glen!" Spencer barked him, mom and dad are right there, she said her teeth clenched.

He looked behind him, "Sorry Spence." Glen lifted Ashley in the hair and spun her three times before placing her back on the ground and squeezing her tightly, "I love you for making my sister happy," his thoughts were sincere, "hurt her and I'll kick your ass, even if you are hot," he smiled.

"Don't worry Glen," Ashley patted him on the shoulder, "no chance of that happening."

"Great, we understand each other."

As they strapped into the car and drove off from the Carlin residence Ashley looked across at Spencer, bringing the blonde's hands to her lips she kissed her knuckles, "Ready?"

"Ready," her smile radiant.

"This summer is going to be amazing," she eyed Spencer in the mirror.

"Oh yea?"

"You heard me missy, 'amazing'" she reached across to kiss the blonde's cheek.

"So where are we headed first Ash?"

"You'll see when we get there."


End file.
